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ShCARhlrM^! i, HART LiTH 2 9. FV 



CALLE/VDEft PERCE & WELLING, Puhlishers. 

2()S liToathvmj New York 



WAR LIFE: 



ILLTJSTEATED BY 



STORIES OF THE CAMP AND FIELD. 



COMPILED BY 



TIM: TR^i^M:!* 






c>.. 



NEW YOEK: «^ 
CALLENDER, PERCE & WELLING, 

208 BROADWAY. 



18 6 2 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by 

GALLENDER, PERCE & WELLING, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern 

District of New York. 



eleotrotyped by 

Smith & McDougal, 

82 & 84 Beekman^st. 



PREFACE 



The Editor submits this little book to the pubHc, with the desire 
of furnishing to his readers a vivid idea of the actual life of a soldier 
in the Camp and Field. And where can more striking illustrations 
of war-Hfe be found, than in the multitude of stories and anecdotes 
which are given birth to by the adventuresome career of a soldier ? 
Many of the stories in this book are given as told by the actors 
themselves, in the scenes depicted; and they have all been selected 
with a view of presenting a truthful picture of the every-day life 
of a soldier, with its pains and hardships, its pleasures and relaxations, 
and also to illustrate the ever varying aspects of home life in time 
of war. The book it is hoped will prove of double interest to the 
soldier and his friends, for in it they may possibly recognize many 
a familiar story of which perchance he may have been himself the 
hero. The Editor trusts therefore, that his motley scrap-book col- 
lection of stories and anecdotes, gathered here and there, from every 
source at his disposal, and arranged as gathered in a cluster of strong 
contrasts, grave mingled with gay, will prove of sufi&cient interest 
to win the favorable opinion of his readers. 



CONTENTS. 



♦ > ♦ >» 



STORIES OF THE WAR FOR THE UlsriOlSr. 



PAGE 

The Spunky Eecruit 7 

Big Shoes 7 

Private Smith and the Captain 7 

" Stop that drumming" 8 

A Female Eecruit 8 

"Left,left" 8 

The Warlike Editor 9 

"Dry up" 9 

An Anxious Mother satisfied. 9 

A Coincidence 9 

Carried away 9 

Drilling 10 

"Poker" 30 

Discipline 11 

Might kill somebody 11 

The Fighting Chaplain 12 

Tight Breeches 12 

The Trail too fresh 12 

Snakes in his Boots '13 

Lieut. Biir s Case 13 

The Frightened Civilian 14 

Nothingbut a Soldier 15 

The Camp Disease 16 

The Bellwether IG 

Drawing Eations 16 

Chronicles of the K F. E 16 

Impolite Eebels IS 

'Mitout the Countersign 13 

The Wonderful Eifle IS 

The Inexhaustible Bottle 13 

A Big Job of Threshing IS 

Poor Boy 19 

Drugged Liquor 19 

Quilp's Eeason Id 

Bill of Fare at Cairo 19 

A Serious Question 20 

A Son of Old Neptune 20 

The Grand Killer of the Army 20 

An Amusing Scene 21 

How to Smuggle in Liquor 21 

Obadiah and The Quaker 21 

A Desperate Encounter 22 

Always a Baptist 22 

How Jack rhillips recovered the Mule 

from S ecesh 22 

March 2S 

A Narrow Escape 23 

Cumulatin' a Beehive 23 

The Blister 81 

How to get to Eichmond 81 

A Hospital Incident 81 

Phantom Fingers 82 

The AVounded Boy and his Father 82 

Losin;? an old Friend 82 



PAGE 

A very Eeligious Colonel 82 

Severe Threat 33 

Good Eecommendation 33 

Et. Eev. Gen. Bishop Leonidas Polk.. 34 

Old Job and the Illinois Yolunteers 84 

How like Sinners at Home 34 

Father Tom 35 

Toby tries his Gun 36 

Swearing a Contraband 37 

On Picket Guard, or Capturing a Seces- 
sionist „ 33 

The Conscientious Chaplain 42 

Blinky 42 

Taking it coollv 48 

A German Sentinel ." 43 

The Devil 44 

The Frightened Sentinels 44 

The Cautious Sentinel 45 

The Dutch Sentinel 45 

Two Governors 45 

A Good Shot 45 

" Chaffing" 46 

A " mixed up" Adventure 46 

Brandy and Wine 47 

An Intelligent Sentry ; 47 

A Good Joke 43 

"Jeff. Davis" 48 

Eather Fishy 48 

The Humors of Picket Duty 49 

Sociable Enemies 49 

An Amusing Dialogue 60 

Cow-bell Dodge 50 

A Contrabandist Idea of War. 61 

" WhistI e, and I'll come to you, my lads" 51 

" Official'' 62 

An Affecting Incident 52 

A Battle Scene 53 

Lay close 63 

Inscrutable Providence 63 

A Strange Meeting 63 

A Heroic Action 64 

An Incident at Bull Eun 54 

The Fight for the Standard 64 

A dying Soldier's Bequest 55 

The little Drummer Boy 55 

I guess I'll have to fight some 65 

Quaker Volunteer 66 

The Irish Brigade in Missouri 66 

An Incide'nt in the Battle of Lexington. 57 

A Case of mistaken Identity 57 

"Close up" 57 

A Noble Boy 58 

AHero 68 

The " Bully" Dutchmen 59 



CONTEXTS 



PAGE 

Always ready 59 

A Heroic Act 60 

Indians at Pea Eidge 61 

The Field at Fort Donelson 62 

An Incident after the Surrender of Fort 

Donelson 63 

Anecdote of General Buford 64 

The Wildcat Eetreat 64 

A Heroic Achievement 65 

Col. Johnson at the Battle of Shiloh 65 

Gen. Nelson on the Field of Shiloh 65 

The Dutchman's Test 6Q 

Plumb nigh like Preachin' 66 

Incident of the Advance on Norfolk. . . 67 

A Touching Incident 67 

An excellent House for an Hospital. ... 67 

A good Excuse 63 

A Southern Opinion of Cairo 6S 

An Enraged Soldier 63 

A "Shelling out^' 68 

A Strong Temptation 69 

A " Contraband"' 69 

A Hit at Eed Tape 70 

A bad Blunder 70 

Eemember the Sabbath 71 



PAGE 

A Martial Youth 71 

Hard Fare 71 

Friend against Friend 71 

A long Eetreat 71 

A Horse Case 71 

How to Lose a Wife 72 

The Left Tenant 72 

Wild Beasts 72 

Pat and the Secessionist 73 

The Home Guard 74 

Dodging 74 

How to Eetreat 74 

The Dying Soldier 74 

Col. James C. Garfield 7S 

The new Connecticut Nutmegs 79 

Miss vs. Mrs 79 

Singular Cause of Death 79 

An Inquisitive old Lady 79 

Drummer Boy of Marble Head 80 

Strange Fish 88 

Incident at the Capture of New Orleans. 83 

Not Whipped 84 

A Eegiment of Cousins 84 

" We feel Bully" 84 



»» ♦ •» — — - 



STORIES OF THE WAR WITH MEXICO, 



SECOJKTD WA.n "WITH EISTGLAND. 



PAGE 

A novel Candlestick 85 

Fleas 86 

Bears and "Dears" 87 

Splitting Wood 87 

Eight Sick 83 

Beef 83 

Yery like a Whale 89 

The Yalley of Dry Bones 90 

A Close Shave 91 

The Bloody Liar 91 

Eesaca de la Palma 93 



PAGE 

Shooting Santa Anna 93 

Shooting the Apostles 94 

A Scene at Monterey 94 

An Incident at San Jacinto 95 

" Made 'em Squat"' 96 

Lying around Loose 96 

Anecdote of Gen. Harrison 96 

" Kill us who dares" 97 

The Brave Standard Bearer 97 

Shot and Shell 97 

A remarkable Incident 98 



-♦-»-^"ft>- 



STORIES OF THE AMERICAISr REVOLXJTIOjST. 



PAGE 

Anecdotes of General Washington .... 99 

Courtesies of War 100 

Peter Francisco 100 

Sergeant Jasper 101 

The Westchester Spy 103 

The Scout and the Indian 104 

The Heroic Eifleman 104 

A Story about Bees 104 

^Fighting enough 105 

An Intrepid Action 105 



PAGE 

A Hero 106 

The Stuttering Captain 106 

A Battle Incident 106 

How to make Five Hundred Dollars. .. 106 

The Brave Coward 107 

Gen. Lee and the Irishman 107 

How to get a Pair of Shoes lOT 

Mistaken Point of Honor lOT 

The Sentinel and the Pig lOS 



VI 



CONTEXTS 



MISCELLANEOUS. 



PAGE 

Anything in Reason Ill 

Colonel iSkinner of Texas Ill 

The Chaplain and Soldier 112 

A Military Toast 112 

An Irish Servant 112 

Drummed out of Camp Ill: 

Moore's Melodies Ill 

'• Wooh! wooh! Shtop!" 115 

The Duke of Wellington and the Taylor 115 

Obeying Orders 115 

Consolation 117 

Storming of the Eedouht 117 

A Touching Incident 121 

Best Man and Horse 122 

A Soldier's Life saved by being shot. . . 123 

"What Women prize most 123 

The Faithful Sentinel 123 

Garibaldi and the wounded Boy 127 

Courtesies of War 128 

No Soldier. 128 

Trophies of War 129 

The Astonished Cat 129 

Little Jules 129 

The Dog Artillerist 130 

The Fatthful Dog '. 131 

"Nobody kilt but yourself" 131 

Garibaldi's Soldier-Monk 131 



Peace and War 132 

The Drunken Elephant .*.*.'.'.*.'.*. 132 

Hair Cutting * '/ * ' 233 

Pipe Clay !*.."..*!.* 133 

How to find a Horse 134 

A March ....*. 134 

Sensations Experienced in Battle*. *. ! .* .* .' 135 

Before a Battle * * ', 135 

A perfectly Authentic Anecdote*.'. V...*. 136 

Incident on the Mississippi 137 

Eubbing it in 137 

Conflicting Orders 138 

Incident of the War 138 

What a 32-pounder can do 138 

How to make a Zouave 139 

Remember me 139 

How to get a Captaincy 139 

Singular Coolness under Eire 140 

Arms vs. Legs 140 

A Day's Eoutine of Prison Life 140 

An Incident of Prison Life 142 

" When you is about, we is" 142 

Advice "in the Name of the Lord" 143 

Giving his own Parole 143 

" Imblems" 143 

Midnight Scene after theBattle of Shiloh 143 
An Unconditional Unionist , . , 144 



STORIES OF THE WAR FOR THE UNION. 



THE "spunky" RECRTTIT. 

A recruit in Buffalo, wlio lacked half an inch or more of the regula- 
tion height, was much mortified that he could not go. At last he asked 
the recruiting officer what he paid a full private. He was told twelve 
dollars per month. 

" Well," said he, as I ain't tall enough for a full private, if you'll take 
me, I'll go for eight dollars." 

He was accepted and allowed full pay for his spunk. 

BIG SHOES. 

Great difficulty was experienced in furnishing the Pennsylvania 
troops with shoes at the commencement of the three months' service. 
Those that were furnished were generally much too large for the 
wearers. This fact occasioned much merriment and some incon- 
venience. A raw recruit in Colonel Owen's regiment was being put 
through the squad drill, and the following colloquy took place : 

Sergeant— ^^Whj don't ye mind the orthers there, Patrick Kelly ? 
There ye've bin standin' like a spalpeen ever since ye come out, and 
niver a once faced to the right or left ? Shure and I'll arrist you. D'ye 
mind that ?" 

Private. — "Ye're mistaken, altogether, Sargent. Shure an' ye've 
bin lookin' at me shoes. Bivil a hit can I turn them around^ 

PRIVATE SMITH AND THE CAPTAIN. 

They have a story in Chicago about a drunken Captain who met a 
private of his company in the same condition. The Captain ordered 
him to *^ halt," and, endeavoring in vain to assume a firm position on 
his feet, and to speak with dignified severity, exclaimed: "Priv'te 
Smith, I'll give you t'll (hie) four o'clock to gissober in." 

" Cap'n," rephed the soldier, " as you are (hie) a d d sight drunk- 

erniam, I'll give you till (hie) five o'clock to gissober in." 



8 • WAE LIFE. 

STOP THAT DRUMMING ! 

A certain militia Captain commanded the company, and on one 

occasion while drilling this limb of the nation's bulwark in the art of 
" grim-visaged war/' the citizen soldiers having got into an inextrica- 
ble snarl, it was found necessary to stop the beating of the drum. In- 
stead of the usual phrase "Halt!" our commander bawled out some- 
what pettishly, " stop that drumming !" JSTot understanding this order, 
the musician continued to perform his " paddediddles" and " flamme- 
diddles" with as much vigor as ever. " Stop that drummuig!" shouted 
our hero a second time ; but the unconscious drummer, with head erect 
and foot on the move, still went on. The indignant Captain could bear 
it no longer. Marching directly up to the musician, he drew his "bat- 
tle-blade'' with a flourish, and plunged it through both heads of the in- 
strument, exclaiming in a voice of thunder, " There, confound you, now 
rub-a-dub if you can !" 

A FEMALE RECRUIT. 

A short time ago a young lady from Onondaga County, disguised as 
a man, offered herself as a recruit for the Ellsworth Eegiment. Not 
reaching the stature requisite, — five feet five, — the recruiting officer re- 
fused to accept her ; but it was only when she commenced making in- 
quiries for John Somebody, that her sex was discovered. This John, 
it seems, was her lover, and had enhsted, as she supposed, in the Ells- 
worth Eegiment. It was her purpose to join the same corps in dis- 
guise, and her disappointment on failing to find her beloved object was 
sad to see. She returned to Onondaga. 

LEFT, LEFT. 

The squads of military that paraded the streets of Indianapolis, at the 
commencement of the war, were kept to time, in the absence of music, 
by the officers calhng, "Left, left," as that foot should strike the ground. 
Eor several weeks after the troops commenced gathering, the word was 
in constant use both by citizens and soldiers, whenever three or more 
chanced to be walking together, and the boys kept singing it out con- 
stantly. One day, when "left, left," was heard on every side, a wed- 
ding party visited the city — dined at one of the hotels, and returned on 
one of the early evening trains. The party did not all return, though. 
Just as the train was about to move, the groom got dry, and darted 
across the street to a saloon. He returned to find the train moving off. 
He ran, screamed, swore — but it was no use — he was "left." He 
started in a disconsolate mood to his hotel, to sleep alone and bewail 
his hard fate. 



W A E L I F E . 9 

* Every crowd he passed, every squad he met, were singing out '^ left, 
left." He looked daggers at them, but still '• left, left" greeted him at 

every turn. He swore he would not sleep a night in any d- d town 

whose entire population would unite to insult a man for his misfortune ] 

and he hired a hack to take him to the first station toward home, 
where he might pass the night out of earshot of the everlasting '• left." 
The keeper of Paradise Garden, near Camp Morton, said, I can't get 
the hang of ^' left, left," yet. Five or six men walk up to my counter, 
and call for '"lager" all round, drink it, smack their Hps, say it is good, 
and then one fellow '* mit" a stripe on his sleeve says, '* left, left," and 
they march away, and he '"don't know who to charge it to." 

THE WARLIKE EDITOR. 

Ttie editor of the Berlin {Wis.) News enlisted recently. His last 
paper was printed on a half sheet, filled completely with legal adver- 
tisements, without a fine of reading matter save the following concise 
and pointed valedictory : 

Finis. — Editor gone to the wars, and the paper gone to ." 

'■'dry up." 

As the Volunteers were about leaving Easton for the war, a young 
man, a member of one of the companies, shed tears when he bid his 
mother " good by." The old woman encouraged him, saying : " Dry 
up, Joe, and show your spunk !" 

AX ANXIOUS MOTHER SATISFIED. 

" Does my son VTiUiam, that 's in the army, get plenty to eat ?" asked 
a lady of a recruiting officer, the other day. 

"He sees plenty," was the laconic reply. 

'•' Bless his heart, then, I know he will have it if he can see it ; he 
always would at home." 

A COINCIDENCE. 

The KashviUe Banner says, "that at Camp Trowsdale, in drawing 
arms, a soldier received the identical musket he bore through the Mex- 
ican War, bearing his name, which he inscribed upon it when he was 
in the service ;" and he now uses a weapon against his country which 
he once carried in her honor. 

CARRIED AWAY. 

A father in Wisconsin was sent by his wife to procure the release of 
a minor son, who had enhsted without their consent, but on his way 
he encountered an artillery company, and was completely carried away 
with it in two senses, enlisting himself, much to his wife's indignation. 



10 WAR LIFE. 

DRILLING. 

'^ One day a raw captain of a rural company, from Ohio, marched his 
men into the long, narrow mess-booth for the first time. After dinner, 
feeling desirous to bring them out in mihtary order, and thinking it 
wrono" to have the left in front under any circumstances, he ordered the 
separated ranks to countermarch where there was not room to execute 
the movement. The result, of course, was great confusion. The cap- 
tain raved, swore, and commanded impossible things, Kesult — still 
greater confusion. At last the men poured out of the doors pell-mell 
like a flock of sheep. The disgusted captain, placing his back against 
a tree, shouted the only command they could obey, thus : ' Anywhere 
you ;please^ hang you, March !' 

^' Another Ohio captain, lately a railroad conductor, was drilling a 
squad, and while marching them by flank, turned to speak to a friend 
for a moment. On looking again toward his squad, he saw they were 
in the act of ' butting up' against a fence. In his hurry to halt them, 
he cried out: 'Down hrakes ! down hrakesP 

'' Still another one wanted yesterday to leave the squad he was drill- 
ing for a moment, and brought them to the ^ rest' in this style : ' Squad, 
break ranks ! hut if any of you leave your ^Dlaces till I come hachj I will 
have youjpui in the guard-house /' " 

" POKER." 

A correspondent of the Cincinnati Commercial^ who recently visited 
the camp of the federal troops in Kentucky, became much interested in 
a youth attached to the '' Boone Eangers." He is just sixteen years of' 
age, and has one of those mild, pleasant faces, which are so attractive 
in a youth. He sat quietly, but contentedly with a group of liis com- 
rades, his large grey eyes dancing with dehght as something novel to 
his unsophisticated mind transpired. 

I pictured him some mother's favorite son, drawn away from the ma- 
ternal protection by a love of adventure or a spirit of patriotism. I be- 
came so much interested in him, that I at last approached him. 

" How old are you ?" was the question. 

" Sixteen years," he blushingly answered. 

^^ Are you not too young to attempt a soldier's life ?" 

^'Too young!" he exclaimed, as his bright eyes flashed. "No, sir, I 
ain't. I guess I can fight for the Union as well as anybody." 

"But you might fall under the fatigues of a march." 

" Well, if I do, I guess my brother's along, and he'll take care of me. 
I ain't afeered. God protects the right." 

This last expression confirmed the impression that the quiet youth 



WAR LIFE. 11 

was religiously inclined, but at the same moment I discovered a pack 
of cards in his coat pocket. 

^' What are you doing witli these cards ?" I asked. 

"Doing with them," answered the mild and unsophisticated youth, 
"w;%, Ijplay ]poher^ and IteU you^ stranger^ I allays hold a Ji—U of a 
handy 

I surrendered at discretion. 

DISCIPLINE. 

The Charlestonians tell a good story at their own expense which 
well illustrates the want of discipline. A company was keeping guard 
at the arsenal. The Colonel of the regiment passing by, saw the sen- 
tinel inattentive to his duty. He took away his gun, and entered the 
arsenal A subordinate ofucer was concocting a cocktail. 

" Wliere is the captain ?" asked the colonel. 

"Upstairs." 

" Please say to him that I want to see him." 

"Well, after I take a drink," said the subaltern. After swallowing 
his toddy he went up stairs to the captain. 

" The colonel is down stahs, and wants to see you, captain," said he. 

" Well, if he wants to see me more than I want to see him, just tell 
him to walk up," said the captain, who was lying on a bed. 

The colonel went up stairs, and found the captain taking things easy. 
"' Sir, you ought to be drilling your company," said he. "Your senti- 
nel don't know how to do liis duty, and I took his gun away from 
him." 

" Well, I dare say," replied the captain, "'he will be much obhged to 
you, I reckon he was tired of carrying it 1" 

IkHGHT KILL SO:kIEBODr. 

It is said that when the Berks County, and other troops from the in- 
terior of the State of Pennsylvania were on their way to Camp Curtin, 
the ofi&cers had a conference over the news of the taking of Fort Sum- 
ter and the fact that, after thirty-six hours' cannonading, no life was 
lost. One honest Dutch of&cer could not understand how this could 
be done, but another officer better posted in modern warfare assured 
him that it was all owing to the astonishing improvements in modern 
science, which had made the art of war so perfect that forts oould be 
battered down, and cities be bombarded and yet not a single individual 
be killed. The Dutch son of Mars hstened attentively, and in surprise, 
at such remarkable results. Suddenly his face reddened, and with a 
blow of his fist upon the table, he exclaimed : '• Den, py tam, tey hat 



12 WAR LIFE. 

petter not pring town our Tuchmans, for tey are so tarn shtupid mit 
science, dat tey can't fight mitout killing somepody !" 

THE FIGHTING CHAPLAIN. 

A new volunteer regiment was forming, and several preachers ap- 
plied for the station of Chaplain. The colonel left the choice altogether 
to the regiment. One candidate preached without the desned success, 
a colleague having outdone him. To secure his election he said, " Boys, 
I am not only a preacher, I am a fighting man. I fought Yankee Sul- 
livan /" He was elected by acclamation. 

HOW TO SURRENDER ARMS. 

Eecently, as the members of a volunteer company were being prac- 
ticed in the musket-drill, by a gentleman who, although not a member, 
was acting as lieutenant for the day, the latter said : "I will teach you 
the manner of surrendering arms, so, in case you ever have to do it, 
you will know how to do it gracefully." The captain of the company, 
standing near, immediately responded : " Hold on, Heutenant ; I '11 
teach them that myself." He seized a musket from a soldier standing 
near, raised it to his shoulder a moment, as if in the act of firing upon 
an enemy ; then letting it drop from his hand, he imitated the action 
of a man shot through the heart, staggered heavily forward, and fell 
upon the piece. He sprang up again in a moment, and cried : '' That 's 
the way this company will surrender arms!" A tremendous shout 
rose from the ranks. '^ That 's the kind we learn — surrender and die at 
the same time ! never mind the grace of it." And the grace of it was 
discarded. 

TIGHT BREECHES. 

A captain in a volunteer corps, drilling his company, had occasion to 
desire one of the gentlemen to step farther out in marching. The 
order not being attended to, was repeated in a peremptory tone, when 
the private exclaimed : '• I can not, captain : my breeches are made 
too tight!" 

THE TRAIL TOO FRESH. 

" Previous to the breaking out of hostilities at Charleston," says a 
Wisconsin correspondent of Harper's Monthly^ ^' we had in our county 
three companies fully armed and equipped, composed altogether of our 
G-erman fellow-citizens. Upon receiving the requisition of President 
Lincoln for volunteer troops, the Governor called upon these companies 
to join the regiment, whereupon they very promptly and unanimously 
surrendered their arms and equipments back to the State, as did also 



WAE LIFE. 13 

their officers, their commissions. Among them was one Captain Johns, 
who had figured largely in times of peace as chairman of the Mihtary 
Committee in the Legislature of the State, and in other ways had for 
eight or ten years been laboring to estabhsh for himself a military repu- 
tation. Soon after resigning his commission, he was met by Colonel 
Teall, who very coolly inquired of him ' if the track was getting too 
fresh ?' The captain not understanding what was meant, the colonel 
told him that his military career reminded him of a California hunter, 
who started out with his gun, in the morning, upon the track of a 
grizzly^ and pursued it hard all day. When it became too evident he 
had nearly overtaken his game, he turned aside into a miner's shanty, 
very much excited. The miner inquired what was the matter, as he 
looked so agitated and alarmed. The hunter replied that he had been 
pursuing a grizzly all day ; but the irack vjas getting too fresh^ and he 
didn't think it safe to follow it any further !" 

SNAKES IN HIS BOOTS. 

An officer, who had been but a short time in camp, while our army 
was at Alexandria, was warned one night by his more experienced 
comrades against the intrusion of rattlesnakes, which they assured him 
were as '' plenty as fleas in fly- time" in that vicinity, and advised him 
to shake his boots well before putting them on in the morning. He 
treated the matter lightly, and thought it a useless precaution, as in the 
first place, he did not beheve a snake would take lodgings in his boots, 
and in the second, he thought, even if one did, a good stamp on some 
hard substance would settle the matter satisfactorily. The next morn- 
ing his neighbors were aroused by firightful yells, issuing firom the tent 
of the unbehever; there were shrieks of ''murder," coupled with im- 
plorings for the doctor ; and his comrades, rushing to his assistance, 
found him limping about, with one boot on, which he begged, with an 
agonizing expression, they would immediately cut offi He screamed 
out there was a snake in it, which had bitten him badly ; that the 
more he had stamped upon it, the deeper it had inserted its fangs, and 
that he had but a few moments to live. The doctor soon made his 
appearance, and commenced ripping the boot from the leg, when, to the 
surprise of every one, out dropped a spur covered with blood ! The 
victim's servant had, the preceding evening, unbuckled both of those 
appendages, and had thoughtlessly inserted one in each boot for safety. 

LIEUT, bill's CASE. 

The captain of one of the companies was sick, and the 2d heutenant. 
Bill C, had the company out on battafion drill. It was the first time 
he had occupied the position, as commander, and, as might be expected 



14 W A R L I F E . 

he spread himself. In one of the manoeuvres he managed to get his 
men into considerable of a snarl, and while attempting to straighten 
them out, or, in his own words, " to form a line that lightning could 
run down," the order was given to " march to your quarters." Bill 
was still trying to get his command to " left dress," when Major E. 
repeated the order, '' To your quarters, march." At the same time 
Capt. M., who was acting as a field of&cer, rode up and told him to go 
to his quarters. Somewhat confused by the repetition of the same 
order, and being determined to ^' know he was in the right before he 
went ahead," he exclaimed, " I ain't going till I know which are my 
men!" Amid the laugh which followed, the major retreated to his 
tent, and Capt. M. galloped off to the left of the battalion, leaving him 
master of the field. There has, as yet, been no order for a court-mar- 
tial in Lieut. Bill's case. 

THE FRIGHTENED CIVILIAN. 

An official once visited Cairo, to look after the welfare of the troops. 
He went to one of the batteries up the river. The battery was sup- 
ported by a company of Grerman infantry, and it so happened that the 
artillerists were on the point of presenting the Grerman captain with a 
flag. So tliey persuaded our civilian to take the flag over to the Grerman 
camp. When he had proceeded about half way, the captain of the 
battery quietly ordered one of his Heutenants to fire a gun across the 
river. The camp was in an instant aroused ; the gunners sprang to 
their posts, the postillions to their horses, and the Grerman company 
come trotting on the double-quick to the assistance of their comrades. 
Seeing a man, in citizen's dress, approaching them w4th the American 
Flag, the Teutonic captain seized him by the collar, and swung him into 
the ranks. 

"But, Capt'n, Capt'n,*" cried our hero. "I'm not a soldier; I'm a 
civilian, I'm a civilian!" 

"I don't care a tam what you be !" shouted the captain. " You got 
the American flag, and by tam you must fight !" 

It is said that after the tumult was "over, the civihan for some time 
could not be found, till at length the corner of the flag was seen, partly 
concealed behind a stump. Here our civilian was found on his knees 
hugging the flag-staff, with closed eyes and swaying to and fro ; he 
greeted his discoverers with a shout: "Give 'em hell, boys!" Grive 
'em hell!" 

NONE BUT A SOLDIER.- 

A correspondent of the Louisville Journal says ; To illustrate the 
spirit of the times, allow me to give you an unvarnished conversation 
I had with a fair maid of the Emerald Isle. She was standin;^ with a 



WAR LIFE, 15 

fine, stout-looking young Irishman by the roadside, and as we rode by 
she exclaimed — "By the powers, and sure I wish ye had been here 

yesterday." " Why," said I, "if you are anxious for the success of our 
cause, do you not make your husband take a musket and fight for us ?" 
" Sure, now," cried she, " is it this thing I'd be after having for a hus- 
band ? No, your honor, I'll niver marry at all unless I get a stout 
soldier boy." We wished her success, and left. 

THE CAAIP DISEASE. 

An Alabamian thus describes the effects of this disease in one of the 
secession camps : 

" There's a new disease broken out here — the ' camp disease,' they call 
it. The first symptom is a horror of gunpowder. The patient can't 
abide the smell of it, but is seized with a nervous trembling of the 
knees, and a whiteness about the hver, and a longing incUnation to ad- 
vance backward. That's the way water serves mad dogs. Then comes 
what our major calls home fever ; and next the sufferer's wife and nine 
children are taken sick; after which the poor fellow takes a collapse, 
and then a relapse. But its mighty hard to get a discharge, or even a 
furlough — awful hard. Fact is, you can't do it without working the 
thing pretty low down. I tell you what Bob, between you and me, 
I'm afraid I'm taking the disease myself: I don't like the reports we 
hear every day from the coast. We hear cannon booming down there 
by the hour, and they say the Yankees are going to play the very devil 
with our ducks. I think I can detect a faint smell of powder in the 
breeze, and feel a strange desire to go into some hole or other. It may 
may be the chmate ; I hope so, but don't see how that should make me 
turn so cold about the haversack every time I see a bayonet. If I only 
had some good spirits now, to take every morning, I think I could 
stand it very well. Please send me some immediately on receipt of 
this. (N". B. Mark the box ' Drugs, care Surgeon 2d Batt., Ala. Yols.') 
Our major is as sharp as a briar, and down on brandy hke a duck on a 



Junebug." 



THE BELL-WETHER. 



Among the Tennesseeans now in camp in Kentucky, is a little fellow 
of about five feet four inches, with grey and grizzled beard, dilapidated 
nose, and an eye as keen as a fish-hawk's. The manner of his escape 
was remarkable and highly ingenious. He headed a large squad of his 
neighbors, and eluded the rebel pickets by wearing a big sheep's bell 
on his head, and bleating away over the mountains, followed by a herd 
of men who did likewise. By this stratagem he deceived the rebel 
scouts, and passed within a few feet of them, through one of the most 
important mountain passes. Old Macfarlane (for this is the name of the 



16 WAE LIFE. 

hero of the bells), thus won the sobriquet of ^' the bell-wether/' by 
which narae he passes all through the camps. He is a rough and good- 
humored old man, with a full supply of mother wit, and speaks of liim- 
self as ^^ under size and over age for a soldier," which he literally is. 

DRAWING RATIONS. 

Not long ago a farmer, who did not reside so far from a camp as he 
wished he did, was accustomed to find every morning, that several rows 
of potatoes had disappeared from his field. He bore it some time ; but 
wh^n the last half of his field of fine '' kidneys" began to disappear, 
he commenced thinking that sort of thing had gone far enough, and 
determined to stop it. Accordingly he made a visit to the camp early 
next morning, and amused liimself by going around to see whether the 
soldiers were provided with good and wholesome provisions. He had 
not proceeded far when he found a ''boy" just serving up a fine dish of 
"kidneys" which looked marvelously like those that the gude-wife 
brought to his own table. Halting, the following colloquy ensued : 

" Have fine potatoes here, I see." 

" Splendid !" was the reply. 

" Where do you get them ?" 

'' Draw them." 

" Does G-overnment furnish potatoes in your rations ?" 

"ISTary potatoe." 

'' I thought you said you drew them ?" 

" Did ! we just do that thing !" 

" But how, if they are not furnished in your rations ?" 

"Easiest thing in the world. Won't you take some with us ?" said 
the soldier, as he seated himself at the table opposite the steaming 
vegetables. 

" Thank you. But will you oblige me by telling how you draw your 
potatoes, as they are not found by the commissary ?" 

" iSTothing easier — Draw ^em hy the tops, mostly I Sometimes with a 
hoe, if one is left in the field." 

" Hum ? yes — I understand — well, see here. If you won't draw 
any more of mine, I will bring you a basket every morning, and draw 
them myself" 

" Bully for you, old fellow I" was the cry, and three cheers and a 

tiger, were given for Farmer . The covenant was entered into, 

and no one but the owner took potatoes from the field afterward. 

CHRONICLES OF THE K. F. R. 

A soldier of company Gr, of the first Kansas regiment, now in Missouri, 
has perpetrated the following serious paragraphs, entitling them " The 
Chronicles of the K. F. K." 



WAE LIFE. 17 

1. Man that is born of a woman, and enlisteth as a soldier in the 
Kansas First, is of few days and short of ^^ rations." 

2. He that cometh forth at " reyeille," is present also at '• retreat," 
yea, even at "tattoo," and retireth apparently at ''taps." 

3. He draweth his rations from the commissary and devoureth the 
same. He strike th his teeth against much '• hard bread," and is satisfied. 
He filleth his canteen with ag^ua pura^ and clappeth the mouth thereof 
upon the bung of a whisky barrel, and after a little while he goeth 
away rejoicing in his strategy ! 

4. Much soldiering hath made him sharp — ^yea, even the seat of his 
breeches are in danger of being cut through. 

5. He covenanteth with the credulous farmer for many chickens, and 
much honey and milk, to be paid promptly at the end of each ten days ; 
and lo ! his regiment moveth on the ninth day to another post. 

6. His tent is filled with potatoes, cabbage, turnips, krout, and other 
delicate morsels of a dehcious taste, which abound not in the Commis- 
sary Department. 

7. And many other things not in the " return," and which never will 
return; yet, for a truth, it must be said of the soldier of the Kansas 
First, that of a surety he taketh nothing which he cannot reach. 

8. He fireth his !Minie rifle at midnight, and the whole camp is 
aroused and formed into hne ; when lo ! his mess comes bearing in a 
nice porker, which he declareth so resembles a secesh, he was com- 
pelled to pull trigger. 

9. He giveth the Provost Marshal much trouble, often capturing his 
guard, and possesseth himself of the city. 

10. At such times lager and pretzels flow like milk and honey, from 
his generous hand. He giveth without stint to his comrade — yea ! and 
withholdeth not from his lank expectant Hoosier of the '' Indiana 
Twenty-fourth." 

11. The grunt of a pig, or the crowing of a cock, awaketh him from 
the soundest sleep, and he sauntereth forth, until halted by the guard, 
when he instantly clappeth his hands upon his bread-basket, and the 
guard in commiseration, alloweth him to pass to the rear. 

12. No sooner hath he passed the sentry's beat than he striketh a 
''bee-line" for the nearest hen-roost, and, seizing a pair of plump pullets, 
returneth, soliloquizing to himself, " The noise of a goose saved Rome ; 
how much more the flesh of chicken preserveth the soldier!" 

13. He playeth euchre with the parson whether there will be preach- 
ing in camp on the Sabbath, and by dexterously ''turning a Jack" from 
the bottom, postponeth the service. 

14. And many other marvelous things doeth he ; and lo ! are they 
not already recorded in the morning reports of company Gr ? 



18 WAE LIFE* 

IMPOLITE REBELS. 

The cover of the wagon was pretty well riddled with bullet holes, 
and we questioned the driver, a good-natured Dutchman, and evidently 
a wag, as to the cause of them, and were successful in ehciting the fol- 
lowing reply: ''Why, you zee, de oder day, when I drives along, some 
of de tam rebels, dey keeps shooting at me, and whiz ! one bullet, he 
goes close behind my ear. So I puts my head out of de wagon, and 
zays to dem to stop till I gets by, but den de rascals keeps firing de 
more, and you zee, de wagon, if he had not jolted very much, den dey 
might 'ave hit me some more !" 

MITOUT THE COUNTERSIGN. 

A German who had been forced into the rebel service, lately escaped 
from Port Pulaski, off Savannah, in a small boat, and made his way to 
our camp on Tybee Island. As he approached he cried out, " Friend 
mitout de countersign, don't shoot, I come mit you;" and was so 
happy to meet his countrymen in the Federal camp, that he wanted to 
hug them all in turn. He said the G-ermans and Irish in Pulaski 
would all escape if they had a chance. 

THE WONDERFUL RIFLE. 

Peaceable Citizen (examining a rifled musket). — "That is rather a 
fine weapon, is it not, my friend ?" 

Brave Volunteer, — '' Wonderful ! You aim at a man two miles off — 
you can not even see him — no matter, fire^ — the ball will find him out I" 

THE INEXHAUSTIBLE BOTTLE. 

At the encampment of the First Massachusetts Eegiment, near the 
Chain Bridge, a pleasant discovery was made. Noticing a leaky spot 
on the hill-side, an ingenious Yankee inserted a bottle, with the bottom 
knocked off, and a copious stream of pure water spouted forth. It is 
called the "inexhaustible bottle," but, unlike that of the wizard, it 
gives forth but one kind of beverage — a health-giving and purifying 
fluid, such as slaked the thirst of the Israehtes when Moses smote the 
rock, and which the Saviour of mankind imbibed when he met the 
good woman at the well of Samaria. 

A Bia JOB OF THRESHING. 

In one of the companies of the Eighth Wisconsin regiment was a 
young man, under age, who enHsted without his father's consent, and 
contrary to his wishes. The father, a farmer, residing in the north- 
western part of the State, wrote several letters to his son while the 



WAB LIFE, 19 

regiment were in quarters at Camp Randall, for the purpose of per- 
suading him to return. At last he wrote him that he must come- 
that he had a large amount of threshing to do— that he could not af- 
ford to hire help, if it were to be had, which was hardly possible, owing 
to the number of enlistments — and that he must return home and help 
him, even if he enlisted again afterwards. The young man replied: 
^^Dear Father ^ — I can't go home at present. I should be very glad to 
help you, but TJnch Sam has got a d — d sight higger job of threshing on 
hand than you have^ and Vm hound to see him out of the woods firsts 

POOR BOY I 

Among those fatally wounded by the railroad accident on the Mari- 
etta and Cincinnati Railroad, last week, as a portion of the Ohio troops 
were being transferred to Athens, was a young man named Dunlap, 
who was taken from the wreck and laid beneath the shade of a tree. 
His injuries were mostly internal, and he could scarcely speak, as the 
blood choked his utterance. One of his comrades asked his name, and 
if he had any word to send home. With difficulty he uttered: ^' Tell 
mother not to forget me — that I die for my country." They were his 
last and dying words. His spirit had risen beyond the gates of day, 
into the light of the better land. 

. DRUGGED LIQUOR. 

A fellow was arrested one day for selling drugged liquor to the sol- 
diers. The captain sat in judgment on his case, and pronounced a 
strictly miUtary decision : ^' Make the d — d scoundrel drink a pint of 
his own whiskey, at once !" And the unfortunate liquor-seller had to 
drink it, greatly to his disgust and discomfort. He survived, for a won- 
der ; but, probably, sold no more drugged liquor to the troops. 

QUILP'S REASON. 

Quilp, when asked why he did n't enlist in the army, being such an 
able-bodied fellow, replied: "That's just the reason; being in sound 
health, I don't requu-e to be recriMted, 

BILL OF FARE AT CAIRO. 

The garrison at Cairo — ^not Cairo in Egypt, but Cairo in Illinois — 
who are blockading the Lower Mississippi by stopping all down-going 
boats loaded with provisions and war munitions, have a hvely time 
eating catfish. The Ohio and Mississippi, at Cairo, abound in the big- 
gest kind of this fresh-water species of the genus squalus. The bill of 
fare of the regimental mess of the garrison is thus waggishly set forth : 
1st. Catfish. 2d. One large catfish with catfish sauce. 3d. A small cat- 



20 WARLIFE. 

fisli stuffed. 4th. Several catfish not stuffed. 5th. Some firied catfish. 
6th. Catfish " omelet," mixed. 7th. Scrambled catfish — a great vari- 
ety — very good. 8th. A large number of very small catfish, a la Fran- 
caise. 9th. A few catfish. 10th. Some more catfish. 

A SERIOUS QUESTION. 

One of Company B's boys was up before a court-martial, on the 
charge of running the guards and '' cramping" chickens. After one 
of the witnesses had been examined, the judge-advocate asked him if 
he had any questions to ask the witness. He straightened up, and said 
he had one question he would like to ask, if he could have the privilege. 
He was told to proceed. "With a face as grave as a deacon's, he said : 
" Witness, can you give me a chew of tobacco T^ The gravity of that 
court-martial was completely upset. 

A SON OF OLD NEPTUNE. 

A son of old Neptune enlisted in the Fifth Ehode Island Battery. 
He was picked out as one of the riders, and not long since his horse 
unseated liim. The commanding officer came up and reprimanded 
him, and asked him sternly if he did not know how to ride ? He 
unhesitatingly said, '^'ISTo." ''What did you enlist for?" asked the 
captain. To which the sailor promptly replied : ''To shoot secession- 
ists, not to break colts." The reply so amused the officer that he rode 
off, smiling. 

THE GRAND KILLER OF THE ARMY. 

A Kentucky correspondent of the Cincinnati Times says : 

Strolling down Bacon creek, a mile from camp, yesterday evening, I 
was hailed by a noise which I knew weU. Looking over in response, 
I discovered that old and favorite Cincinnati butcher, Yan Wunder. 
What do you suppose he is doing here ? "Is Van in the army?" ask 
his old. friends. Well, he is neither a brigadier general, a quartermas- 
ter, nor a commissary. When I asked him his business on Bacon 
creek, his answer was — 

" Kilhng for the army." 

I wanted to know if he had taken out a contract to kill all the rebels, 
when he set me right by informing me that he was pursuing his old 
business, and was butchering for the army. That is the kind of " kill- 
ing" he is doing. In fact, Yan has a good thing in hand. He and two 
other gentlemen have the contract for supplying the whole army in 
Kentucky with fresh meats, at remunerative prices. Yan's division is 
this line. He has a gang of Cincinnati butchers with him. As they 



WAE LIFE. 21 

have to follow the army, they work mostly out of doors, beside the 
nearest running water. 

Their slaughter-house here consists of sundry fallen trees, strewn on 
the banks of a babbling brook. Yan, as hearty and good-humored as 
ever, was astraddle of a stump, his horse's rein on one arm, and both 
hands occupied in enumerating the weights. I advised Yan to have the 
scene painted, as it would make a good design for a transparency the 
next time he ran for sheriff. 

" Hist !" said he, putting a finger on his nose ; " I'm done with such 
nonsense. Keep mum on the sheriff question out here." 

So mum it is ; don't you tell anybody. 

AN AMUSING SCENE. 

An amusing scene occurred in the camp of a Pennsylvania regiment 
a few days ago. Our troops were engaged in a brisk skirmish with the 
rebels at Lewinsville, just above the Chain bridge. Nearly opposite, 
on this side of the river, G-en. McCall's division was in camp, and the 
paymaster was counting out the gold due the troops for their services. 
Word was received of what was going on over the river. The men 
sprang to their arms, anticipating an order to march. The regiment 
among whom the money was being distributed turned their backs upon 
the paymaster and his treasure, as if it were a matter of no account. 
One man was signing a receipt for his yellow heap then lying on the 
table: he dropped his pen, and rushed for the camp, leaving pen, 
paper, and gold to take care of themselves. Another hastily shouted, 
" Hold on to mine till to-morrow," and darted from the tent. The pay- 
master was lefb alone with his gold, with time to contemplate the 
curious incidents of war. 

HOW TO SMUGGLE IN LIQUOR. 

The stratagems resorted to by the soldiers to smuggle liquor into 
their quarters are often amusing. The other day a man started out 
with his coffee-pot for milk ; on his return, an ofl&cer suspecting him 
to have whiskey in his can, wished to examine it, and the man satisfied 
him by pouring out milk. At night there was a general drunk in that 
soldier's quarters, ending in a fight. It was at last discovered that the 
man had put a little milk into the spout of his can, sealing the inside 
with bread, and filling the can with wliiskey. That man is '^ cute " 
enough to lead an expedition against Jeff. Thompson. 

OBADIAK AND THE QUAKER. 

Among our troops on the Potomac are a number of birthright mem- 
bers of the Society of Friends. '• Obadiah/' said a venerable elder to 



22 WAE LIFE. 

his grandson, whom he was visiting, " thee knows it is against disci- 
pline to fight" 

" Yes, grandfather." 

" Is that shooting thing in thy hands, rifled ?" 
" Of course it is ; do you think I would have any other ?" 
'^ I'm told that it is the best kind; now take it right out of my 
sight." 

A DESPERATE ENCOUNTER. 

On Saturday night, before the battle of Bull Run, two of the Minne- 
sota boys took it into their heads to forage a httle, for amusement as 
well as eatables. Striking out from their encampment into the forest, 
they followed a narrow road some distance, until, turning a bend, ^ve 
secession pickets appeared not fifty yards distant. The parties discov- 
ered each other simultaneously, and at once leveled their rifles, and 
fired. Two of the Confederates fell dead, and one of the Minnesotians, 
the other also falling, however, but with the design of trapping the 
other three, who at once came up, as they said, to ^' examine the d — d 
Yankees." Drawing his revolver, the Minnesotian found he had but 
two barrels loaded, and with these he shot two of the pickets. Spring- 
ing to his feet, and snatching his saber bayonet from his rifle, he lunged 
at the survivor, who proved to be a stalwart lieutenant, armed only 
with a heavy sword. The superior skill of the Southerner was taxed 
to the utmost in parrying the thrusts and lunges of the brawny lum- 
berman ; and for several minutes the contest waged in silence, broken 
only by the rustle of the long grass by the roadside, and the clash of 
their weapons. Peigning fatigue, the Minnesotian fell back a few steps, 
and as his adversary closed upon him with a cat-like spring, he let his 
saber come down upon the head of secesh, and the game was up. 
Collecting the arms of the secessionists, he returned to the camp, where 
he obtained assistance, and buried the bodies of his companion and their 
foes in one grave. 

ALWAYS A BAPTIST. 

A squad of Indiana Volunteers out scouting, came across an old 
woman in a log cabin in the Cheat Mountains. After the usual saluta- 
tions, one of them asked her, '^ Well, old lady, are you secesh?" "No," 
was the answer. "Are you Union?" "No." "What are you, then?" 
" A Baptist, and allers have heen r The Hoosier was satisfied. 

now JACK PHILLIPS RECOVERED THE MULE FROM THE SECESH. 

If the stories of incidents and adventures current in any of the nu- 
merous camps, in the neighborhood of Seceshdom, could be collected 



WARLIFE. 23 

in book fomij they would make a very readable work. I may send you 
a string of such as are afloat in our region, at some future time ; at 
present, I will relate one which came to my knowledge a few days 
since. 

Squire Bailey had the biggest, and best, and most docile mule in 
Marlin's Bottom, and Marhn's Bottom is about the biggest and best 
neighborhood on Greenbrier river. Squire Bailey was inclined to be a 
Union man, and did not entirely conceal his sentiments, notwithstand- 
ing the presence of Floyd's army in the vicinity. About the time of 
Floyd's " tumultuous flight " from that region, he was very much in 
need of transportation, and, according to established usages among 
secesh, he proceeded to levy on the teams of the neighboring farmers. 
Of course, a Union man, like Squire Bailey, was not to escape ; but 
Squire Bailey, taking time by the forelock, very quietly, one night, re- 
moved to a safe locality all his live stock except his favorite mule, which 
he kept, for hauling wood and going to mill. This mule being appa- 
rently the only support of a large and increasing family, Squire Bailey 
fondly behoved the Secesh would not be heartless enough to rob him 
of it. 

But Squire Bailey did not understand Secesh. One fine, morning 
along came Quartermaster BHfie, accompanied by half a dozen armed 
men, from Floyd's army. Squire Bailey was standing at his gate 
when Quartermaster Blifie approached, and commenced a conversation 
with him. 

'^ G-ood morning, Mr. — a — llr, — " 

" Bailey," suggested the squire. 

^' Yes, Bailey ; good morning, Mr. Bailey." 

"Mornin'," said the squire. 

^' I understand, Mr. Bailey, that you have a number of horses and 
mules which you wish to dispose of to our glorious Confederacy." 

" Mistake, sir," said Bailey ; " I have none to sell to anybody." 

" But, Mr. Bailey, some gentlemen informed me yesterday that you 
had quite a number of horses and mules." 

" If you'll believe your eyes, instead of ' some gentlemen,' Mr. Quar- 
termaster, you can see for yourself that I have nothin' but that mule, 
in the dog pen there, and that I can't possibly keep house without." 

^'Ahl I see the mule," said Blifie, looking through the cracks. 
" You'd be asking fifty dollars for that mule, I s'pose. Well, it's a big 
price, but if you won't take less, I'll have to give it. Corporal, just 
write a note for fifty dollars, payable in Florida swamp lands, at 
twenty-five dollars an acre, two years after om* glorious Confederacy 
achieves undisputed independence." 

" But, Mr. BHfie," remonstrated the squire, ^' if you take my mule, 



24 WAELIFE. 

my family will freeze to death, and starve to death, too, afore spring. 
And if I had twenty mules, I could not sell you one sich as that 
for less nor three hundred in gold, but this one I can't spare at no 
price." 

'•' We must all make sacrifices, Mr. Bailey, for our glorious Confed- 
eracy. If you only knew the sacrifices I have made, Mr. Bailey. The 
starving and freezing of your wife and children are nothing compared 
to them; but our glorious Confederacy called, and my patriotism 
responded to the call. Future generations will remember and bless us, 
Mr. Bailey, and we will receive the everlasting gratitude of our glorious 
Confederacy. Think of that, Mr. Bailey — think of that." 

Mr. Blifie, before his appointment, had been utterly penniless, and 
ten times as mean as he was poor. These quahfications got him the 
appointment of quartermaster; out of this ofi&ce he was steahng a 
fortune. 

'' Mr. Blifie," said the squire, with much feehng, "for the Lord's sake 
don't take my last airthly support. Don't you see my children are all 
a cryin' and a carryin' on, because they know they'll all be in their 
graves afore spring, if you rob me of" — 

''Eob!" exclaimed Mr. Blifie, fiercely. ^' Don't say ^rob' again, or 
I'll massacre your whole nest of traitors. It's because you're an enemy 
to our glorious Confederacy that you are unwilling to sell the mule at a 
fair price. I oughtn't to pay such as you a cent, but I'm a generous 
man, and you ought to be thankful to me. Corporal, fill up the note 
as I directed." 

" Hold on a minit," said the squire. '• If that paper is what you are 
goin' to give me, don't spile it by writin' on it. The blank paper might 
be of a httle use to me, but the writin' on it never could." 

'' You're a cursed traitor to our glorious Confederacy," said Blifie, 
and he started to take tlie mule out of the pen. It was hitched with a 
halter, and had a broad surcingle around it. He unfastened it, and 
without deigning another word to the '' enemy of his glorious Confed- 
eracy," he was off with it to seek another farmer's stables. 

Squire Bailey looked sad as he turned to go in the house, and, in the 
bitterness of his feelings, so far forgot himself as to " d— n the glorious 
Confederacy." 

Snugly concealed in Squire Bailey's closet was Jack Philhps, the 
up-to-everything Ohio scout. As the squire entered the room he called 
out, ''Come out. Jack; they're are gone, and the infernal scoundrels 
have stole my mule." 

'' I told you they would, said Jack, making his appearance, and if I 
hadn't informed you last night, they'd a got all the rest of 'em that you 
sent off." 



WARLIFE. 25 

'^ That's so, Jack ; but I'd give a hundred dollars to have that mule 
back." 

Jack looked steadily at the fire for five ruinutes. 

^' What did you say, squire ?" 

'' I said I'd give a hundred dollars to get that mule back, but I s'pose 
three hundred wouldn't get him." 

"I don't know," 'said Jack, abstractedly; and he looked in the fire 
for five minutes more. Suddenly Jack brightened up, and said : 

" Grive me the hundred dollars, squire, and I'll bring you your mule 
to-morrow night, or your money shall be returned." 

The squire looked amazed at Jack for a moment, but seeing he was 
in earnest, put five double eagles in his hand. In a few minutes Jack 
left the house dressed in hnsey pants, a red wamus, and a coon-skin cap. 

iN'ext day, as Jack was walking leisurely up the road, by a coincidence, 
probably brought about by himself, he met the quartermaster and his 
men, returning sYiih the proceeds of the expedition. Jack smiled a 
happy smile when he saw Blifie behind the rest, leading the squire's 
mule. He walked quietly along, until he came almost opposite the 
quartermaster, when he darted suddenly off the side of the road, look- 
ing at the mule as if frightened. 

'^ Blasted scoundrel!" exclaimed Jack. 

" Who ! who is a blasted scoundrel ?" asked the quartermaster. 

"Aint that the mule old Bailey had?" asked Jack, moving still 
farther out of his reach. 

'' Yes ; but who did you say was a blasted scoundrel ?" inquired the 
quartermaster, very naturally taking all such compliments to himself. 

"Why, old Bailey, and the mule, too, for that matter," repKed Jack. 

^^ What's the matter with the mule ?" asked Blifie, whose former oc- 
cupation had not made him much of a judge of live stock. 

" The matter ! Why, he'll kill you afore you get him home. You 
didn't pay the old sinner anything for him, did you?" inquired Jack. 

" Certainly; I paid two hundred and fifty dollars for him." This is 
what the sacrificing patriot intended to return him at to his glorious 
Confederacy. 

'' Lord a mercy !" exclaimed Jack. 

^'But what's the matter with him?" asked Blifie, looking at the an- 
imal, half frightened. 

" That ere mule," replied Jack, "has kicked down, in his time, every 
panel of fence on old Bailey's place ! You found him in a pen of big- 
logs, didn't you?" 

"Yes; why?" inquired Blifie. 

" And them ere logs are fastened by big iron bolts. It's the only 
thing that would ever hold him. He has killed all the rest of old 



26 W A E L I F E . 

Bailey's stock, and the old rascal has kept him on purpose to swindle 
some fellow with." 

^'I heard," said Blifie, ''that he used to have more stock." 

'' That's what become of it," said Jack. "Didn't the children cry, 
and did'nt old Bailey whine and carry on about losing his three hundred- 
dollar mule ?" 

^" Yes, they clid, at a great rate." 

" I know'd it," -said Jack. " The old woman spanked them children, 
and sent them out at the nick of time to help the old rascal in his 
swindle. And to cheat our glorious Confederacy in that manner ! He 
ought to be hung !" and Jack Thanked his off eye. 

" But if he's so vicious," said Blifie, hopefully, " how did they get the 
halter and surcingle on him ?" 

" Chloroform, sir, chloroform. I 've actually seen that mule kick liis 
coUar off." 

" And did they give him chloroform to get the collar on liim ?" asked 
Blifie. 

"!N'o !" replied Jack. " They put some oats in the bottom of a bar- 
rel, and laid the collar across the top ; the mule ran liis head through 
the collar to get at the oats." 

" The devil !' ejaculated the quartermaster. 

"Yes," continued Jack, "and I seed him kick that collar off. Ever 
since that he kicks every barrel to staves that he gets eyes on." 

"But he has seemed quiet enough since I have been leading him," 
interposed Blifie. 

" Hev you any liquor about you ?" asked Jack. 

" Yes, a little in my coat-pocket; why do you ask ?" 

" That's wdiat he follers you for, and it's a wonder he hain't eat you 
up body and breeches afore this, to get the Hquor. I know'd that mule 
to kick the lock off of old Bailey's cellar-door, and go down thar and 
git as drunk as a beast. Fact, sir. That mule can kick your hat off, 
and you on his back." 

" That can't be so," said the quartermaster, incredulously. 

" Try him," said Jack. " I 've jist got a cool hundred dollars to give 
you if you '11 ride him a rod." 

By this time the quartermaster's attendants had got out of sight, and 
his avaricious soul prompted him to make an effort to get Jack's gold, 
thinking he couldn't be more than thrown off, anyhow. 

The night before this meeting Jack had quietly stolen into the mule's 
stable, and carefully placed a leather dog-collar, driven full of pointed 
sparrow-bills, under the mule's surcingle, putting a piece of light leather 
between the points of the nails and the mule's back, so that a moderate 
pressure would force them through into the animal's hide. 



WAR LIFE. ^ 27 

Ignorant of this, the greedy quartermaster moved the mule to the 
bank, and sprang on him just where the dog collar was placed. Just 
as he lit on the mule, a boulder lit on his head, and he lit sprawling in 
the mud. The mule, frantic with the pain of the nails still sticking in 
his back, sprang off the side of the road, knocked down a dozen panels 
of fence, and ran fuiiously across the field, rearing, kicking, lying down 
and rolling over, jumping up, and plunging about at a terrible rate. 

'' I told you so," said Jack, coolly, as the quartermaster scrambled 
up, rubbing liis bruised head, and brushing at the mud on his besmeared 
clothes. 

'•' He's worse than seven devils, ain't he?" said the discomfited quar- 
termaster. 

^' In course he is," replied Jack. 

'•What '11 you give me for the chance of him?" asked the Cjuarter- 
master, as he saw another string of fence go down before the mad- 
dened mule. 

" Don't know," said Jack ; " the halter might be worth a dollar or so, 
if I could get close enough to shoot him before he tears it all to shor- 
strings." 

" But where 's my horse ?" asked the quartermaster, looking around 
in astonishment. 

'•' Don't know," replied Jack ; ''the mule gave him a hyste with his 
heels, jist as he started, and haven't seed the horse since." 

" I wish the devil had old — " 

"Hello, quartermaster !" shouted a man in Secesh uniform, who was 
coming up the road at the top of his speed; "hello ! Mr. Quartermaster, 
the enemy is coming right down on our camp, and the general wants 
you immediately. Our army is running like all possest, and the general 
wants you to help save the plunder. Hurry back as hard as you can 
run, or the enemy will be betwixt you and our fellers." 

Blifie waited to hear no more, but broke for his camp like a quarter- 
horse. When he arrived, and found that the story was all false, terrible 
was the vengeance he vowed ; but before he had time to execute his 
threats, Floyd's army was in a remote part of the State. 

" It is hardly necessary to add, that the messenger who sent the 
quartermaster off so precipitately was an associate of Jack's, and that 
Jack had turned the quartermaster's horse with his head up the road, 
and by a sharp cut with a whip sent liim out of sight before Bhfie 
recovered from his confusion. 

Squire Bailey got his mule back again, httle the worse for Jack's 
tricks, and he is as quiet and useful an animal as there is in all the 
country. The double eagles Jack returned with the mule, taking the 
quartermaster's horse as compensation for his services. 



28 WABLIFE* 

Jack Pliillips says he would like to have an opportunity of inquiring 
of the self-sacrificing patriot of the glorious Confederacy, whether it 
hurt him much when the mule kicked his hat off — Capt Jere Williams, 

MARCH. 

A good March-ing joke is told of Corporal P., of the N. Y. S. Y., 

to the effect that on the last day of February he passed from tent to 
tent, simply announcing, in an authoritative voice : '' March, to-morrow, 
at 1 o'clock." The brave, ready soldier-boys promptly packed their 
knapsacks, and put everything in marching order, and laid down to 
dream of the foe, and some of the boys did not realize the force of the 
joke, until the ides of March, the next morning, opened upon them 
a new month, when they laughingly acknowledged themselves fairly 
^^sold." 

A NARROW ESCAPE. 

Some of our boys, in Yirginia, were out on a foraging expedition the 
other day, when one of them espied a fat turkey in a neighboring farm- 
yard. After that turkey he went; and after an exciting chase he cap- 
tured him. Slinging the fowl alive over his back, with its head hanging 
downward, he started on a run for our lines, when suddenly the door 
of the farm-house opened, and three secessionists armed with rifles 
made their appearance and gave chase. Our hero made a dash for the 
fence, sprang over it at a single bound, and without rehnquishing his 
prize ran toward our camp as fast as his feet would carry him. His 
pursuers fired as they chased him ; but he reached camp unhurt. The 
turkey, however, was not so fortunate: a nearly spent rifle ball had 
struck him, and saved us the trouble of killing him before preparing 
him for the fire. 

'cumulatin' a beehive. 

^Boys, I know where there is a Secesh beehive," said Jack Phillips, 
one dull morning, while we were quartered on Cheat Mountain Summit. 

^' Where is it ?" asked one of his two hearers. 

" If you'll promise to go along and help 'cumulate it, I'll tell you." 

" Count me one," said Jed Wicks. 

^^ Count me half a dozen, if you want that many,'^ said Bill Eeese. 

" But I'll tell you, boys, its down at Eobinson's, on Cheat river, and 
worse than that, it's in the kitchen loft ; and still worse, he has two all- 
fired big cross bloodhounds." 

^' Come to think," said Jed Wicks, " I haven't time to go." 

" I never agreed to go," said Bill Eeese. 

" Look-a-here, fellers, I tell you we can 'cumulate that 'ere honey, 
and ef you fellers are afeered to go, I can find somebody that ain't." 



WAE LIFE. 29 

This left-hander at their courage set them to warding off with other 
excuses. 

^' I'm not afeered to go/' said Jed, '' but maybe Eobinson is a Union 
man, and it wouldn't do, you know." 

"IN'ot by a dern'd sight, he ain't. He's one of these cussed neutral 
Secesh that's ten times wuss than an out-and-outer. He carries news 
to G-reenbrier camp, and I'll prove it on him afore a week." 

^' But then," interposed Bill, " we can't get past the camp guards ; 
and if we could, it looks a Httle too much like stealin'." 

" Gittin* a past the guards ain't common amusement," said Jack ; 
" jist say you'll go and the honey is ourn. And as to the moral pint, 
we'll go 'cording to law and custom, you know. Fust, demandin' of 
the Secesh bees to take the oath, they refusin', we arrest them, and con- 
fiscate their property. All fair and legal, you see. What's stealin' in 
times o' peace, is confiscatin' and 'cumulatin' in time o' war. For stealin' 
you go to jail, but for 'cumulatin' you git promoted. So you see,- in a 
moral pint of view, it's intirely different." 

Their qualms of conscience being thus satisfactorily disposed of, and 
Jack having insured their hides against the hounds, they agreed to go 
if he would get a pass to take them through the guard hues. 

^^ Come right along, then," said Jack, and they followed him to a 
remote beat where was walking to and fro, a G-erman sentinel, who 
could not read English. After the usual challenge, Jack advanced, 
and drawing from the folds of his pocket-book a crumpled paper, read 
as follows : 

Camp Cheat Mountain Summit, Ya., ) 
October, 18, 1861. ) 

The guard will pass the bearer, and two comrades, on very impor- 
tant business. Brigadier Greneral Milroy. 

The G-erman understood none of this, except the name and title of 
the general, and Jack, to prevent him from calhng a corporal of the 
guard, looked very important, and made him understand that the gen- 
eral wished the expedition kept a profound secret. The sentinel defer- 
entially stepped aside, and they passed on. 

^' How the dickens did you get that pass, Jack ?" inquired Bill. 

'' Pass be hanged I It was nothing but a httle note Eobinson sent 
up to the general t'other day by me, about the boys a stealin' from him. 
Yes, I give it to him much." 

^' But what does the note say ?" eagerly inquired Bill. 

^' Why, it says as how if the general 'lows any of the soldiers to 
come stealin' about him, his dogs shouldn't leave har nor hide of 'em. 
He done it to skeer me, as he noticed me a eyein' of his beehive. I 
tuk the hint and the note, and told him like as not some of the boys 



30 WAFw LIFE. 

would be clown this very day, and mabbe steal his beehive or somethin'. 
Says he, ' do you see tJiem T pintin' to his dogs. Says I, ^ I believe I 
see 'em.' Says he, ' one o' them will tear the hind legs off a man the 
fust jerk, ef I tell 'em to.' Says I, 'keep a sharp look out,' and men- 
tioned to him specially to keep his eyes peeled to-day." 

Bill and Jed stopped. 

"Jack," said Bill, '' my 'pinion is you're tryin' to git us into an infer- 
nal scrape." 

'' Nary time, fellers ; nary time. I jist wanted the Secesh cuss to 
understand that Jack Phillips could 'cumulate that beehive if him and 
his dogs was a straddle of it. I tell you, 'pon honor, that I have the 
ropes all laid, and that beehive is as good as ourn without ary scratch. 
I'll manage Eobinson and the dogs myself; they shan't as much as look 
towards you." 

After some further assurance, they proceeded, and when they ap- 
proached the house they crept quietly through the laurel to take a 
reconnoisance. There sat Eobinson in the very door through which 
they would have to pass in order to reach the beehive, and by the 
doorstep lay the two ferocious dogs. Appearances, certainly, were not 
very promising, but Jack very quietly remarked, '' all right, old feller.'* 

"Now, Bill," said he, "you and Jed remain here, silent and still, 
until you hear me holler, and then double-quick in, wrap a blanket 
around the beeliive, and bring it into the laurel up the pint. You 
needn't be afeered of Eobinson and the dogs, they'll be 'tended to." 
Saying which Jack started toward the river. 

About two hundred yards from the house was a foot-way across the 
river, that part farthest from the house being a single plank. The wa- 
ter was three or four feet deep, swift and cold, and the banks quite 
bluff. 

In about half an hour from the time Jack left his friends, Eobinson 
was startled by hearing a squawking in the direction of the bridge, 
and, looking up, saw Jack crossing the river with a chicken under 
his arm. 

" Hold on there, you infernal scoundrel !" he shouted, " or I'll set the 
dogs on you. Here, Tige, here. Mage!" and he and the dogs started 
on a run. 

"'Taint none of your chicken," shouted Jack, feigning fright; "I 
bought it down at the widder's." 

" Hold on, I tell you!" shouted the enraged Eobinson, "and I'll see 
whose it is, you Yankee thief." 

Jack stopped at the farther end of the footway, and stood with his 
toe under one end of the plank, while Eobinson advanced from the 
other, shaking his fist, and exclaiming : 



WAR LIFE. 31 

" I'll teacli you to come here stealin', you pilferin', scoundrelly abo- 
lition—" 

Kersouse ! 

Jack had dexterously thrown the end of the plank sidewise, and 
Robinson and the dogs were floundering, and fighting, and climbing 
over each other in four feet of water. Jack gave a loud shout, took to 
his heels, and at the appointed rendezvous found his comrades with a 
hive of rich honey. — N. Y. Spvit of the Times. 

THE BLISTER. 

Complaint having been made in one of the camp hospitals, that an 
Irish volunteer would not submit to the prescribed remedies, one of the 
attendant physicians proceeded to expostulate with him, when the 
soldier defended himself by exclaiming : — 

^' Sure, your honor, wasn't it a blister they were after clapping on 
me back ? And I towld them it was impossible intirely, for I hate 
them bhsters, no matter where you put 'em on me, they go agin my 
stomach, sure !" 

HOW TO GET TO RICHMOND. 

One of Ellsworth's Zouaves had been assured that he would dine in 
Eichmond in a week. Before he had a chance to pull a trigger a ball 
tumbled him over, and he was taken to Richmond sure enough. — 
^' Well," said he, ^'' here I am in Richmond ! But," added this pious 
and exemplary man, in his poetical style, " how the hell am I to dine 
in Richmond ^vith a ball in my belly !" 

A HOSPITAL IXCIDEXT. 

An incident is told of an encounter between several ladies, who had 
visited the Federal prisoners in a Southern hospital, and a wounded 
Federal soldier : 

It had become a matter of habit with the fair ones to open conver- 
sation with the very natural inquiry, *' AYhere are you wounded?" and 
according^, when a party of three or four the other day approached 
our cell, they launched out in the usual way. Paddy made believe 
that he didn't hear distinctly, and rephed, '' Pretty well, I thank yez." 
^' Where were you wounded?" again fired away one of the ladies. 
*^ Faith, I'm not badly hurt, at all. 111 be travehng to Richmond in a 
wake," rephed Pat, with a peculiarly distressing look, as if he was in 
a tight place. Thinking that he was deaf, one of the old ladies in the 
background put her mouth down to his ear, and shouted again, '•' We 
want to know where you are hurt ?" 

Pat, evidently finding that if the bombardment continued much 



32 WAR LIFE. 

longer he would have to strike his flag anyhow, concluded to do so at 
once, and, accordingly, with a face as rosy as a boiled lobster, and with 
an angry kind of energy, he replied, '^ Sure, leddies, it's not dafe that 
I am; but, since you are determined to know where I have been 
wounded, it's on my sate. The bullet entered behind ov me breeches. 
Plase to excuse me feehngs, and ax me no more questions." 

AIRY FIXGERS. 

A G-erman of the second Michigan regiment in hospital at "Washing- 
ton, had his arm amputated. His description of the sensation he feels 
from his fingers which lately belonged to his left arm, causes frequent 
bursts of merriment from other patients in the ward. He says : — '^ I 
veels der tings mit mine vingers ven I knows ise got no vingers dare ; 
and it makes me mad ven I veels der tings all der times mit mine 
vingers, and mine vingers aint dare any more shtill." 

THE WOUNDED BOY AND HIS FATHER. 

An unlucky private in one of the ISTew York regiments was wounded 
in a late battle, and his father arrived at the hospital just as the surgeon 
was removing the ball from the back of liis shoulder. The boy lay 
with his face downward on the pallet. '' Ah, my poor son!" said the 
father, mournfully, '^ I'm very sorry for you. But it's a bad place to be 
hit in— thus in the lack /" The sufferer turned over, bared his breast, 
and pointing to the opening above the arm-pit, exclaimed, "Pather, 
there's where the ball went inl". 

LOSING AN OLD FRIEND. 

It is related of one of Col. Duryea's Zouaves, who was wounded at 
Big Bethel, so that the amputation of liis left arm became necessary, 
that he bore the operation with much fortitude, and on seeing the 
arm aoout to be taken away for burial, called the man back, and grasp- 
ing the cold, dead fingers, shook hands vdth the arm, saying : 

'' Grood bye, old friend; you have served me often at a pinch, and I 
thought to carry you to the grave, but you are going there before me. 
Good bye !" 

A VERY RELIGIOUS COLONEL. 

One of the zealous chaplains of the army of the Potomac called on 
a colonel noted for his profanity, in order to talk about the rehgious in- 
terests of his men. He was politely received, and beckoned to a seat 
on a chest. '' Colonel," said he, "you have one of the finest regiments 
in the army." '' I think so," replied the colonel. " Do you think you 
pay sufficient attention to the religious instruction of your men?" 



TVAR LIFE. 33 

" Well, I don't knoTr," replied the colonel. ^- xi lively interest has been 

awakened in the regiment ; the Lord has blessed the labors of 

his servants, and ten men have been akeadj baptized." (This was a 
rival regiment.) " Is that so^ 'pon honor ?" asked the colonel. '' Yes^ 
sir." ^'.Sergeant/' said the colonel to an attending orderly, ''have 

fifteen men detailed immediately to be baptized. I'll be if I'll 

be outdone in any respect!" The chaplain took note of the interview, 
and withdrew. 

SEVERE THREAT. 

Those who have visited the Federal forces on the lower Potomac 
cannot fail to have learned that the chaplain of one of the regiments in 
Greneral Hooker's division combines with his clerical calling the duties of 

caterer for an of&cer's mess, and this has so interfered with the custom- 
ary occupation of the chaplain, that it is said he had preached but once 
since the regiment has been in the field. A short time since, butter of 
a very objectionable quahty was placed upon the officers' table, and their 
ire at once aroused. The colonel was determined to prevent any such 
imposition on their stomachs in the future, and, sending for the chaplair 
cook, exclaimed as he entered the tent : " Look here, chaplain, if yor. 
ever put such butter as that on the table again, I'll — I'll make you preach 
next Sunday !" It is said that the threat proved effectual, and that the 
butter was ever afterward of the best quahty. 

GOOD RECOMMENDATION. 

When Eev. Mr. Humphrey (now Major Humphrey), wenfc to Col. 
Brackett, in Chicago, for authority to raise a cavalry company, he was 
asked by the colonel if he had references. This puzzled the parson a 
little, for it had just occurred to him that he was away^ from home ; but 
reflecting a moment, he remembered '• old Joe Knox" was practicing 
law in that city, and referred the colonel to him. 

He was told by the colonel to return in a few hours, and a reply 
would be given. 

In the meantine Colonel Brackett saw '• Joe Knox,' and made inqui' 
ries as to the character and standing of the parson. 

'' Do you know Mr. Humphrey, of Genesee, Mr. Knox ?" 

" What, minister Humphrey, the Methodist preacher, colonel ?" 

" The same, sir." 

''Do I know him ?" 

''' Yes." 

" Know him Like a psalm-book, sir." 

" Well, what kind of a man is he ?" 



84 W A E L I F E . 

'' Parson Humphrey will preach like Paul, pray like Stephen^ and 
fight like the Jews. 

''All right." 

And the colonel left. 

At the expiration of two hours Mr, Humphrey returned to the oflice 
of the colonel ; and as he stepped in he was greeted with : 

'' There are your papers, Mr. Humphrey." 

And the parson left for Grenesee with the papers in his pocket. 

RT. REV. GEN. BISHOP LEONIDAS POLK. 

A correspondent writes as follows in reference to the Et. Eev. G-en- 
eral Bishop Leonidas Polk : I think the Et. Eeverend General Bishop 
Polk, if some one has not slandered him, sent a flag of truce to the 
Devil, when he laid aside the sword of the spirit and took up the carnal 
weapons of Jeff. Davis, and has since fallen into the habit of the army 
in Planders. It is stated, on the authority of a gentleman who was 
present, that when a note of inquiry Avas sent down to Columbus by 
Gen. Grant, after the fight at Belmont, in which the action was men- 
tioned as a '' skirmish'" the Bishop General, on reading it, exclaimed 
with an energetic oath byway of preface, "Skirmish! hell and dam- 
nation ! I'd like to know what he calls a battle." But this is all natural 
enough. When Peter denied his Lord, you remember, he soon began 
to curse and swear. , 

OLD JOB AND THE ILLINOIS VOLUNTEERS. 

The twentieth Illinois regiment was stationed near our city (Joliet), 

for several weeks. Captain B- , a real good fellow, and sheriff of 

Kankakee county, became impressed w^ith the idea that he was unpop- 
ular with his company, w^hich occasioned him to take a glass or two too 
much, and to express, in pretty strong language, the many troubles and 
grievances wnth which he had been afflicted. A good deacon of our 
place induced him to come into his store and endeavored to pursuade 
him that his suspicions in regard to his popularity were unfounde d, and 
that he should bear his troubles like a man. The captain drew himself 
up and said, " Deacon, you are a good deal of a Bible man, and prob- 
ably are acquainted with old Job. Now, I don't say but what he had 
a pretty hard time, and that they spread the boils on him mighty thick, 
but still you see he never commanded a company of Illinois volunteers." 

HOW LIKE SINNERS AT HOME. 

A chaplain of one of the regiments on the Potomac narrates the case 
of a sick soldier which strikingly illustrates the reasoning of many men 
in the camp and out of it. Some one had mentioned to the soldier the 



WAB LIFE. 35 

case of the Yermonter who was sentenced to be shot for sleepino* on 
his post. During the evening following, the fever setting in violentlv 
the sick man imagined that lie was the man sentenced to be shot. The 
surgeon being called, the following conversation ensued. 

'' Doctor, I am to be shot m the morning, and wish you to send for 
the chaplain. I desire to make all necessary preparation for my end." 

^' They shall not shoot you, — I'll take care of you. Whoever comes 
to take you from here, I shall have them arrested and put under guard.' 

'•' Will you, dear doctor ? Thank you — thank you, — well then, you 
need not send for the chaplain y^/s^ yet.'''' 

The chaplain, in mentioning the instance, adds, " How like sinners at 
home 1" 

FATHER TOM. 

The gallant and gifted Greneral Thomas Francis Meagher, now in the 
field under the flag of his adopted country, relates an incident which 
shows the patriotism of the CathoHc clergy in this momentous struo^g-le. 
The unctuous humor of Meagher in telling the story gives it more than 
half its charm. Yery early in the war Grovernor Sprague sent here two 
Ehode Island regiments, which soon became famous for their fine ap- 
pearance, disciphne, and decorum. Attached to one of these was a 
young priest, the head of a large congregation in Providence, and a 
learned and loyal man. He was known as ^"Father Tom" by the boys, 
and in his ocsasional visits to Washington soon became a general favor- 
ite. He was a behever in Meagher, and loved to converse with the 
orator-hero. One morning while Meagher was lying HI at the National 
Hotel in this city. Father Tom entered the room of his friend, and was 
presented to the well-known Alexander Dimitry, who, although per- 
sonally a stranger to the Irish chaplain, was at once remembered as a 
man of great genius and greater eccentricity. Dimitry had just been 
recalled from Central America, to which country he had been sent as 
American minister by Mr. Buchanan's patriotic administration; and as 
Mr. D. was not only a citizen of Z^ew Orleans and a furious pro-slavery- 
ite, but an ex-placeman, he was in no complacent mood. An earnest 
Catholic himself, his first greeting to Father Tom was a grunt of disap- 
probation at seeing him, a Cathohc priest, in the ''Yankee uniform." 

'' I am horrified, sir,," said the learned secessionist, '' that you should 
dishonor your church by wearing the livery of the oppressor of the 
South — the miserable Lincoln, who, instead of walkimr on all-fours, is 
permitted by Divine Providence to stand on two legs, as if to caricature 
humanity." '" Ob, Mr. Dimitry," responded Father Tom, '• we will not 
C[uarrel about personal matters, or I might call your attention to the 
traitor and imbecile, James Buchanan, who produced the war, and 



36 WAR LIFE. 

whose wages you took." '-Imbecile!" roared the noisy scholar; "Im- 
becile ! Down on yom- knees and beg pardon of your Maker for this 
insult to one of the best of men, or I will make an example of you, 
holy man as you assume to be." It was now the turn of the soldier- 
priest to lose his temper. " If I am a holy man, sir," he shouted, '^ I 
am not, as you are, a traitor and an ingrate to my country. There," he 
said, pulling off his glove and flinging it in Dimitry's face ; '• there is my 
pledge that I carry a brave heart under my rosary, and if you are not a 
coward you will take it up and let me prove it to you." After waiting 
for a response from the astounded blusterer, Father Tom bid General 
Meagher good-night and left the room. In a few days the linguist, 
philosopher, diplomat, and professor shook the dust of Washington from 
his feet, and is now, we believe, cursing his bad luck and the Southern 
Confederacy in the panic-stricken city of New Orleans. — War Press. 

TOBY TRIES HIS GUN. 

Toby is a high private in the Mississippi army. His company is 
armed with breech-loading Maynard rifles, '• warranted to shoot twelve 
times a minute, and to carry a ball effectively 1,600 yards." Men who 
fought at Monterey and Buena Yista call the new-fangled thing a 
"pop-gun." To test its efficiency, Toby's captain told the men ^' t^nej 
must try their guns." In obedience to command, Toby procured the 
necessary munitions of war, and started with his "' pop-gun" for the 
woods. Saw a squirrel up a very high tree — took aim, fired. Effects 
of shot immediate and wonderful. Tree effectually topped, and nothing 
of the squirrel to be found, except three broken hairs. "Pop-gun" rose 
in value, equal to a four-pounder. But Toby wouldn't shoot towards 
any more^ trees — afraid of being arrested for cutting other people's tim- 
ber. Walked a mile and a quarter to get sight of a hill. By aid of a 
small telescope, saw hill in distance ; saw large rock on hill ; put in big 
load; made ready; took aim at rock; shut both eyes — fired. As soon 
as breath returned, opened eyes; could see, just could; but couldn't 
distinguish any sounds; thought ITiagara had broke loose, or all out of 
doors had gone to drum-beating. Determined to see if shot hit. Bor- 
rowed horse, and started toward the hill. After traveling two days 
and nights, reached the place ; saw setting sun shining through the hill ; 
knew right away that was where the shot hit. Went closer ; stumbled 
over rocky fragments scattered over half a mile in hne of bullet. Come 
to hole ; knew bullet hit there, because saw lead on the edges ; walked 
in ; walked through ; saw teamster on the other side " indulging in 
profane language," in fact, " cussin considerable," because lightning had 
killed his team. Looked as his finger directed; saw six dead oxen in 
line with hole in the mountain; knew that was bullet's work, but 



WAELIFE. 37 

didn't say so to angry teamster. Thought best to be leaving ; in con- 
sequence, didn't explore path of bullet any farther; therefore don't 
know whetlier it stopped at all ; in fact, rather think it didn't. ]\Iounted 
horse ; rode back tlirough hole made by bullet ; came home ; put gun 
away, but never told captain a word about it ; to tell truth, v/as afraid 
he would think it a hoax. "It is a right big story, boys," said Toby 
in conclusion ; " but it's true, as sure as shooting. E"othing to do with 
Maynard gun, but load her up, turn her ;^orth, and pull the trigger ; 
if twenty of them don't clean out all Yankeedom, then I'm a Har, 
that's all." 

SWEARING A COXTRABAXD. 

The following description of the swearing of a contraband is from a 
letter to the Cincinnati Enquirer from a member of Company K, Eirst 
Iowa Cavalry : 

" Innumerable questions were being propounded to him, when the 
corporal advanced, observing — 

^' ^ See here, Dixie, before you enter the service of the United States, 
you must be sworn.' 

" 'Yes, massa, I do dat,' he rephed, when the corporal continued — 

" 'Well, then, take hold of the Bible,' holding out a letter envelope, 
upon which was dehneated the Goddess of Liberty standing upon a 
Suffolk pig, wearing the emblem of our country. The negro grasped 
the envelope cautiously with his thumb and forefinger, when the cor- 
poral proceeded to administer the oath by saying : 

" ' You do solemnly swear that you will support the Constitution of 
the United States, and see that there are no grounds floating upon the 
coffee at all times.' 

" 'Yes, massa, I do dat,' he rephed ; ' I allers settle liim in de coffee- 
pot.' 

" Here he let go of the envelope to gesticulate by a downward thrust 
of his forefinger the direction that would be given to the coffee-grounds 
for the future. 

" ' ISTever mind how you do it,' shouted the corporal, ' but hold on to 
the Bible.' 

" ' Lordy, massa, I forgot,' said the negro, as he darted forward and 
grasped the envelope with a firmer clutch, when the corporal continued — 

" 'And you do solemnly swear that you will support the Constitution 
of all the loyal States, and not spit upon the plates when cleaning 
them, or wipe them with your shirt-sleeve.' 

" Here a frown lowered upon the brow of the negro, his eyes ex- 
panded to their largest dimensions, while his lips protruded with a 
rounded form, as he exclaimed : 



38 WAR LIFE. 

'^ ' Lordy, massa, I never do dat. I allers washes him nice. Ole 
misses mighty 'ticler 'bout dat.' 

" 'Never mind ole misses/ shouted the corporal, as he resumed : ' and 
you do solemnly swear that you will put milk in the coffee every morn- 
ing, and see that the ham and eggs are not cooked too much or too 
httle.' 

'• 'Yes, I do dat; I'se a good cook.' 

'• ' And, lastly/ continued the corporal, ' you do solemnly swear that 
Avhen this war is over you'll make tracks for Africa almighty fast.' 

" 'Yes, massa, I do dat. I allers wanted to go to Cheecargo.' 

" Here the regimental drums beat up for dress parade, when Tom 
Eenton — that being his name — was declared duly sworn in and com- 
missioned as chief cook in Company K, of the Pirst Iowa Cavalry." 

ON PICKET GUARD ; OR, CAPTURIXG A SECESSIONIST. 

"Eoger," said my comrade^ Jack Hinton, "it will be our turn for 
picket guard to-morrow." 

We were seated in front of our tent at Camp Hamilton when my 
friend uttered these words. The moon had just made her appearance 
in the east, and was throwing a flood of silvery splendor over the green, 
waving fields and the tall trees in our vicinity, while the tents gleamed 
like white snovv^-banks all around us. Dimly in the distance we could 
see the walls of Fortress Monroe, and could just make out the gleaming 
of a musket, now and then, as the sentinels paced to and fro along the 
ramparts. 

"All right," said I, in answer to the words of my friend; " and I 
guess we'll have a clear day for it." 

"Without doubt," replied Jack, as he hitched up his red pants and 
wound his sash tighter about his waist ; " and a clear night, too, per- 
haps, which last I don't fancy so much." 

" Why not ?" I inquired. 

" For the simple reason that it will afford these secession scouts, if 
there should be any of them prowling around, a good opportunity to 
pop at lis from behind some one of those tall, beautiful trees which you 
admire so much." 

" Nonsense," I rephed " there isn't one within ten miles of us." 

"I ain't so sure of that, chum," replied Jack; "and, by the way, 
that reminds me that I had a bad dream about you last night ; so you 
had better be careful." 

" Out with it," said I. 

" Well," began Jack, " I dreamed—" 

'Bang! bang! whiz — whi-r-r-r!" from the thicket in our rear, fol- 
lowed by an agonizing cry of pain. 



WAR LIFE. 39 

The next moment loud cries for the corporal of the guard were heard 
on all sides ; when, anticipating an attack, my chum and I sprang iuto 
our tents, and girding our body-belts about us, reappeared with our 
muskets in our hands, 

iN'o more shots being fired, however, we came to the conclusion that 
some of the sentinels had shot himself by accident. 

But we were mistaken ; for a few moments afterward a crowd of our 
Zouaves passed us, bearing the body of a comrade between them, and 
we learned that he had been shot, probably by a party of the enemy, 
while performing his beat near a lonely path in the very heart of the 
thicket. The whole of the second rehef had been immediately de- 
patched in pursuit of the enemy, who had retreated after firing upon 
the sentinel. The latter was not seriously wounded. Two shots had 
penetrated his right shoulder. 

An hour from that time the second rehef returned with three prison- 
ers, who were immediately taken to the fort. 

This circumstance convinced me that the secessionists were not so 
far fi:om us as I had imagined ; and I resolved to keep a wary eye 
around me when posted on the following night. 

With this resolution upon my mind I unrolled my blanket, spread it 
upon the ground, and with my knapsack for a pillow, laid down and 
was soon fast asleep. 

The weather was so warm, and our tent so crowded, that I always 
preferred to sleep outside. The next morning after breakfast, the drum 
sounded for picket. Our canteens having been filled with fresh water, 
and our haversacks with twenty-four hours' rations, my comrade and I 
took our places in the ranks. 

The regiment was drawn up in line, the customary manoeuvres gone 
through with, and we were ready to start, when it flashed across my 
mind like lightning that I had forgotten my meerschaum ! 

Oh, Heavens ! what a calamity was this ! 

In fancy, on the previous night, I had pictured myself lying in the 
shade of some friendly tree while off duty, and puffing blue wreaths of 
smoke into the fragrant breeze — dreaming ''such dreams as mortal 
never dreamed before." 

And now, alas! my forgetfulness had dashed the dehghtful frame- 
work of my fancy to atoms ! 

I poured my sorrows into the ear of my chum, who was busy pour- 
ing water down his throat. He sympathized with me, and pointed to 
the end of a black pipe protruding from his pocket, as much aj to say, 
"It's all right ; you see I've got a pipe, and we'll go shares." 

I felt indignant ; I felt that the honor of my meerschaum had been 
insulted. That infernal black pipe — that old pipe which he had smoked 



40 WAE LIFE. 

for six months, that pipe which wouldn't smoke at all sometimes, and 
which, when it did smoke, smoked black, villainous-looking clouds into 
the face of every person who came near it— to even hint that a pipe 
like that could make amends for the absence of my meerschaum ! It 
was scandalous, outrageous ! Eut I had no time to indulge these feel- 
ings, for the next moment the order came to ^' Right face I" then '' For- 
ward, march 1" and away we went to relieve the Troy boys, or '• The 
Gray Backs," as we generally termed them, on account of their uniform, 
which was of a most decided gray. 

A march of about five miles, beneath a burning sun and along a dusty 
road bordered by tall, beautiful trees, brought us to the place of our 
destination, a shady and well- watered grove, where we came to a halt, 
after passing the Troy boys, who presented arms to us as we marched 
by them, and grinned at us from behind their muskets. It was a pleas- 
ant "grin," however — a ''grin" of welcome and of approbation. 

Our sentinels were soon posted, and those who were not on duty 
stretched their wearied limbs upon the ground beneath the trees. As 
I belonged to the third relief, I had a long period of rest before me, 
and accordingly laid down and mourned after my forgotten meerschaum. 
My chum sat complacently smoking his black pipe. I watched him for 
awhile, and then fell asleep from sheer disgust. 

At two o'clock I was stationed at my post. It was a solitary one 
in the heart of a dense wood, just where two paths intersected each 
other. The thick masses of shrubbery on each side of me, would have 
afforded excellent shelter for the enemy, should they have taken it into 
their heads to disturb me. This, however, did not occur at that time, 
and at four o'clock I was relieved. 

A rest of four hours, and at eight o'clock I was again on duty. Dark- 
ness gathered around me, and all objects became indistinct. The wind 
rose and sighed through the tall trees, and the hooting of the owl fell 
dismally upon my ears. With my gun upon my shoulder I paced to 
and fro in that solitary Virginia forest, peering keenly through the dark- 
ness every now and then, to see if I could discover anything. Once 
or tvv^ice I fancied I could hear a suspicious rustling in the shrubbery 
on my right, but as the noises were not repeated, I came to the con- 
clusion that they were caused by some bird or other animal. !Never- 
theless, I resolved to be on my guard, and kept my finger upon the 
trigger of my musket the whole time. All at once, I felt an indefin- 
able sensation creeping over me — a sort of shudder which pervaded 
my whole frame. It was a feeling which in all my life-time I remem- 
bered to have only experienced once before, and that vas upon the 
sperm whahng ground, when I saw the ponderous flukes of one of 
these monsters suspended over me, and about to descend upon mj head. 



WAE LIFE. 41 

While I was still under the influence of this feeling, a flood of silvery 
light shot across my path and lay quivering on the ground. This caused 
me to look up, and through an opening in the branches of a tall tree 
which extended above me, I saw the full moon just emergino- from 
behind a heavy cloud, by which it had hitherto been obscured. But 
another sight — a decidedly unpleasant one, and calculated to operate 
disagreeably upon the nerves — met my vision. This was nothing less 
than the glistening barrel of a long rifle, pointed directly toward me, 
from between the branches of the tree. I could see nothing but the 
rifle, as the figure that held it was completely shrouded from sight by 
the leaves. The recollection of the noise which I had heard in the 
shrubbery now flashed across my mind. The Secessionist managed to 
elude my vigilance, and scale the tree in the darkness. The best I 
could do now was to bring my musket to my shoulder as quickly as 
possible, take as good aim as circumstances would admit of, and fire — 
at the same time calling out for the corporal of the guard. But before 
I could perform the first of these movements, the rifle was discharged, 
and I heard the whizzing sound of a bullet as it passed within an inch 
of my temple. The next moment I saw a dark figure descending the 
tree with an alertness which showed him to be possessed of an active 
frame. I took deliberate aim and fired. But as I expected would be 
the case, owing to the intervening trunk of the tree, I missed him, 
and the next moment he dashed into the shrubbery, and was out of 
sight. 

My call for the corporal of the guard had been heard, and he made 
his appearance soon after. 

To him I related the occurrence, and he left me for the purpose of 
acquainting the officer of the guard with tlie circumstance. 

He had not been gone five minutes, when "bang" went that infernal 
rifle again, and another shot informed me that it had been intended for 
my head, but would content itself by taking the tassel from my red 
cap. ■ The report came firom the shrubbery on my right, and with my 
musket ready to fire I rushed in that direction. But nothing was to 
be seen and I returned to my post, with a decidedly uncomfortable sen- 
sation about the region of the heart, and an eager longing for the re- 
appearance of the corporal. 

Expecting every moment to be sent to that '•' bourne from whence 
no traveler returns," by another shot from my unseen enemy, and not 
wishing to be sent there in that disagreeable manner, I resolved upon 
strategy. 

Taking my cap from my head, I stole cautiously to the edge of the 
shrubbery, hung my dilapidated head-piece upon a twig, and placing 
my musket alongside of it, so as to make the deception as perfect as 



42 WAR LIFE. 

possible, retired about ten paces from the same, and crouching down in 
a shadowy spot waited for further developments. 

I had not been in this position for more than a minute, with my eyes 
fixed keenly upon the shrubbery before me, when I beheld the dark 
figure of my enemy moving stealthily toward my cap and musket. He 
paused when about ten paces from the same, raised his rifle to his 
shoulder, took deliberate aim at the cap, which it is very evident he 
supposed to be my head, and fired. 

In the meantime, I had stolen behind him, and with a wild Zouave 
yell I sprang upon him, caught liim by the back of the neck, and 
throwing him to the ground, placed my knee upon his breast and my 
two hands upon his throat, at the same time singing out lustily for the 
corporal of the guard ! 

I had not long to wait. The corporal made his appearance a second 
afterward with a file of men, and to them I gave up my prisoner. 

My next step was to regain my cap and musket. The former lay 
upon the ground, and upon making an examination I perceived that 
the enemy's last shot had made an ugly hole in it, just where the back 
of my head would have been with the cap upon it. 

All further details are unnecessary. The prisoner was conducted to 
the fort on the next day, and I believe is still in confinement at that 
place. 

So much for picket guard. — Wilkes^ Spirit of the Times, 

THE CONSCIEXTIOUS CHAPLAIN. 

Chaplain B- , of the 1164th regiment, ^. Y. S. Y., (this is a true 

story), having heard that he was entitled to rations for two horses, 
was much exercised in regard to the justice of drawing said rations 
when he was not the owner of a solitary horse. So, to satisfy himself 
on this point, he held a consultation with several brother ofi&cers on this 
subject. They all assured him that Uncle Sam didn't care whether he 
owned horses or not, but would pay the rations, without asking any 
questions. But the chaplain was not satisfied. At length a bright idea 
struck him. He knew the owner of four or five horses, and going to 
him laid bare his case. The result was satisfactory. The chaplain 
bought a fifty cent share in two horses, and was happy in the thought 
that now he could draw his full pay and rations honorably and hon- 
estly. 

BLINKY. 

It is the custom of the colonel of our regiment (Eighty-Fifth Penn- 
sylvania Yolunteers) to make the rounds every night in person, and 
satisfy himself that every sentinel is at his post and doing his duty. A 



W A R L I F E . 43 

few nights ago, while in discharge of this self-imposed duty, he ap- 
proached a post, and received the challenge as usual, '' Who comes 
there ?" 

*' Friend with the countersign," was the reply. 

Here the poor sentinel was at a loss. The rest of his instructions 
had been forgotten. The colonel is a very particular man, and insists 
that everything sliall be done exactly right. So after spending consid- 
erable time in the endeavor to impress the ^^role" upon the mind of the 
sentinel, he suggested that he would act as sentinel, whilo the other 
should personate the colonel. " Blinky" — for such is his surname in the 
regiment — moved back a few paces, and then turned to approach the 
colonel. ' '"Who comes there?" challenged the colonel 

" Wliy^ Blinky ; dorit you Jcnoiu we, colonel T^ 

This was too much for even so patient and forbearing a man as 
Colonel Howell. The gun was handed over, and the colonel passed on 
to the next post. 

TAKING IT COOLLY. 

A number of instances of personal daring are related characteristic 
of the troops, on both sides, m the lines at Yorktown. During the 
first day's skirmish on our right, two soldiers, one from Maine, the 
other from G-eorgia, posted themselves each behind a tree, and indulged 
in sundry shots, without effect on either side, at the same time keeping 
up a lively chat. Finally, that getting tedious, G-eorgia calls out to 
Maine, " Give me a show," meaning step out, and give an opportunity 
to hit. Maine, in response, pokes out his head a few inches, and Geor- 
gia cracks away, and misses. '• Too high," says Maine. '• Xow give 
me a show." Georgia pokes out his head, and Maine blazes away. 
" Too low," sings Georgia. Finally, Maine sends a ball so as to graze 
the tree within an inch or two of the ear of Georgia. ^'' Cease firing," 
shouts Georgia. "Cease it is," responds Maine. '"Look here," says 
one, " we have carried on this business long enough for one day. 
S'pose we adjourn for rations?" ''AgTced," says the other. And so 
the two marched away in different directions, one whisthng '* Yankee 
Doodle," tiie other '- Dixie." > 

; A GERMAN SENTINEL. 

An amusing story is told by some Dubuque boys of the ';' Iowa First," 
about the changes which a certain password underwent about the time 
of the battle of Springfield. 

One of the Dubuque officers, whose duty it was to furnish the guards 
with passwords for the night, furnished the word '* Potomac." A Ger- 
man on guard, not understanding distinctly the difference between the 



44 WAR LIFE. 

B's and P's, -anderstood it to be '' Bottomic," and this, on being trans- 
ferred to another, was corrupted to " Buttermilk." Soon afterwards 
the officer who had given tlie word, wished to return through the 
hnes, and approaching a sentinel, was ordered to halt ; and the pass- 
word demanded. He gave '^ Potomac." 

" E"icht right — you don't pass mit me dis way." 

" But this is the word, and I will pass." 

"No, you Stan';" at the same time placing a bayonet at his breast 
in such a manner as told Mr. Officer that " Potomac" did'nt pass in 
Missouri. 

" What is the word, then ?" 

" Buttermilk, d — n you." 

"Well, then. Buttermilk, d— n you." 

" Dat is right ; now you pass mit yourself about your pizness." 

There was a general overhauHng of the password, and the difference 
between Potomac and Buttermilk being understood, the joke became 
one of the laughable incidents of the campaign. 



THE DEVIL. 



When the — th Michigan Pegiment first went into camp, Gr- 



young fellow (now a Heutenant) of great promptness and energy, and 
withal possessing a large fund of humor, was posted at the principal 
entrance as sentinel. About 10 o'clock at night a drunken fellow came 
stumbling along towards the gate. 

" Who goes there ?" challenged the sentinel. 

Just as the challenge was uttered the man tripped his foot, and very 
naturally exasperated at his stumble, gave utterance to the extremely 
profane ejaculation : 

" The devil !" 

"Halt!" exclaimed the sentinel, in a voice of thunder. "Advance, 
the devil, and give the countersign!" 



THE FRIGHTENED SENTINELS. 

Two soldiers were on sentry duty one dark night, when suddenly an 
immense form, as if that of some hideous wild beast, suddenly appeared 
before them, and a terrible noise fell upon their ears. Struck with ter- 
ror, they both fired, and the monster, with a singular groan, fell to the 
earth. The camp was alarmed at the reports of the muskets, and 
turned out. Upon examination, the cause of the alarm was discovered 
to be a broken-winded horse that had wandered near the vicinity of 
the sentinels. 



WAR LIFE. 45 

THE CAUTIOUS SENTINEL. 

A sentinel on duty observed a person approaching him through the 
darkness. The advanced posts of the tV70 armies were within haihng 
distance of each other; and the sentry, as soon as the stranger ap- 
proached within a couple of hundred feet from him, shouted : 

'' Who goes there ?" 

^' A friend !" was shouted back. 

'' Grive the countersign where you are I" cried the sentry, unwilling 
to allow the person to advance to a nearer, and, as he considered, a 
more dangerous proximity. 

" I'll give it to you when I am nearer," said the officer. 
' "Advance another step, and I'll fire upon you!" shouted the sentry. 

" You foolish fellow," replied the other, who was obliged to halt, '• if 
I shout the countersign to you, the enemy may hear it." 

*' I don't care !" replied the sentry, " so long as I can hear you !" 

And the officer was obliged to seek another portion of the camp, 
where he could pass without betraying the word to foes as well as 
friends. 

THE DUTCH SENTINEL. 

While the Second Eegiment was stationed at Bali's Cross Roads, an 
officer approached a sentinel, an honest German. 

" Who goes there ?" said the sentinel. 

"A friend!" 

" Advance, firiend, mit the countersign, Boston ./" said the Dutchman. 

The officer passed that sentinel without difficulty, and the German 
was not put on guard again until after going through a thorough course 
of instruction as to his duty. 

TWO GOVERNORS. 

A few weeks ago, his Excellency, Governor Washburn, attempted to 
pass the lines of Camp Hamlin, and was challenged by the guard, who 
demanded the countersign. 

"Don't you know me ?" inquired the governor. 

" No !" was the response, with a decisive shake of tne head. 

^' I am the Governor — Governor Washburn," blandly remarked the 
commander-in-chief 

"You can't come that dodge," rephed the faithful sentinel; ^^two 
Governor Washhurns have already passed the lines to-day T 

A GOOD SHOT. 

A sentry one day saw a rat on his beat, and fired at it and killed it. 
In just one minute he found himself on the way to the guard-house. 

^' I made a good shot, anyway," was his selfsconsohng remark, as the 
door closed on him. 



<6 W A E LIFE 



CHAFFING. 



The following " chaffing" between the opposing sentries, near 

Bailey's Cross-Eoads, ^Yhen within ear-shot of each otlier, occurred 

one day : 

Secesh — ^^ When are yer coming up ter take the hill?" 

Micliigander — " Oh, after yeou is manners. When are you coming 

to take the Capitol ?" 

Secesh — '" Eeckon yer don't like the Bull Eun route to Manasses ?" 
Micliigander — '' Waal, we calc'late ter go next time by way of Hat- 

teras ?" 



Among the beauties of the war in Western Virginia, is the " mixed 
up" way in which the combatants manoeuvre among the mountains. 
Here is a recent instance, where a single loyal soldier halted an enthe 
rebel regiment : 

Sergeant Cart, of Tippecanoe, Ohio, was upon the post first attacked 
by the enemy. The advanced guard of the Second Virginia (Eebel), 
consisting of twelve men, came suddenly upon him and his three com- 
panions. The bright moonlight revealed the flashing bayonets of the 
advancing regiment. He was surrounded and separated from his re- 
serve. With great presence of mind, he stepped out and challenged, 
"Halt! Who goes there ?" The advance guard, supposing they had 
come upon a scouting party of their own men, answered, " Friends, 
with the countersign." At his order, "Advance one, and give the 
countersign," they hesitated. He repeated the order peremptorily, 
" Advance and give the countersign, or I'll blow you through ?" They 
answered, without advancing, "Mississippi." " Where do you belong?" 
he demanded. " To the Second Virginia Eegiment." " Where are 
you going?" " Along the ridge." They then in turn questioned him, 
"Who are you?" "That's my own business," he answered, and, 
taking dehberate aim, he shot down his questioner. 

He called for his boys to follow him, and sprung down the ledge of a 
rock, while a full volley went over his head. He heard his companions 
summoned to surrender, and the order given to the Major to advance 
with the regiment. Several started in pursuit of him. He had to 
ascend the hill on the side toward the enemy's camp. While he 
eluded his pursuers, he found himself in a new danger. He had gotten 
within the enemy's camp pickets ! He had, while running, torn the 
IT. S. from his cartridge-box, and torn the strips from his pantaloons. 
He was challenged by their sentinels while making his way out, and 
and answered, giving the countersign, "Mississippi," Second Virginia 
Eegiment. They asked him what he was doing there. He said that 



WAELIFE. 47 

the boys had gone off on a scout after the Yankees, that he had been 
detained in camp, and in trying to find them he got bewildered. 

As he passed through, to prevent further questioning, he said, '^ Our 
brave boys are up on the ridge ; which is the best way up ?" They 
answered, " Bear to the left, and you'll find it easier to climb." Soon 
again his pursuers were after him, as he expressed it, ''breaking brush" 
behind him, this time with a hound on his trail. He made his way to 
a brook, and running do^\Ti the shallow stream, threw the dog off the 
scent, and, as the day was dawning, he came suddenly upon four pick- 
ets, who brought their arms to a ready, and challenged him. He gave 
the countersign, " Mississij)pi," and claimed to belong to the Second 
Tirgmia Eegiment. His cap-box had sHpped from his belt-plate. They 
asked Mm where he got that belt. He told them he had captured it 
that night from a Yankee. They told him to advance, and, as he ap- 
proached, he recognized their accoutrements, and knew that he was 
among his o^vn men, a picket guard from the First Kentucky. 

He was taken before Colonel Enyart, and dismissed to his regiment. 
Such acts ought to be recorded — such men rewarded with promotion. 
I asked him what his motive was in halting a whole column of the 
enemy. He said his plan was to give intimation to the reserve of their 
advance, that they might open upon them on their left flank, and so, 
perhaps, arrest their progress. 

BRANDY AND WIXE. 

^At one of the camps on Staten Island, a new recruit was placed on 
guard one night. An officer, wishing to be satisfied that the recruit 
understood his duty, walked to the post and passed by, meeting with 
no resistance or objection. Looking at the sentry for a moment, he 
asked him if that was the way he performed his duty. 

" Oh, I'm performing my duty," was the reply. 

"What did you let me pass for ? Didn't the sergeant give you the 
countersign ?" 

" I know nothing of your countersign," was the reply ; '' but the ser- 
geant told me that the first man who came along would give me brandy 
and wine, and not a d — d drop of either have I seen, although half a 
dozen have passed me. Hang the wine ! I only want the brandy." 

The pass- word was "Brandy wine," and the new aspirant for military 
honors had only comprehended it in the sense probably most famiUar 
to him. >^ 

AN INTELLIGENT SENTRY. 

A G-erman soldier, belonging to one of our regiments, escaped from 
guard duty by not understanding the Enghsh language. He had been 



48 WAR LIFE. 

detailed as a sentinel, and tlie officer of the day said ; '' Sentinel, it is 
your duty at this place to salute all officers according to their rank ; to 
keep fire from approaching the magazine ; and, in case the enemy ap- 
pears, you are to discharge your musket and run to the camp. Do you 
understand ?" '' Yes, heutenant," rephed the worthy G-erman. It ap- 
peared a little later, on being questioned, that he understood he had 
been instructed '' to shoot all officers of rank, and then set fire to the 
magazine, and, if he saw an enemy, to run away." 

A GOOD JOKE. 

On the occasion of a review a few days since, the President and Sec- 
retary Cameron had occasion to pass tlirough one of the gates of Fort 
Eunyon. The rule is to keep to the right, but the road was so blocked 
up that the President's coach tried to pass through the left gate. This 
the guard resisted, when he was told it was the President's carriage ; 
but he shouted, " That dodge has been tried before, it won't do this 
time." " Old Abe" thought it a good joke, and ordered his coa<3hman 
to wait and take his turn to the right, like common folks. 



" Who goes there ?" shouted a sentinel lately, when on guard one 
evening at a camp in the vicinity of New York. ''It is I,-^Col ," 



was the reply. ''The pass-word?" "I do not remember, but I am 
the Colonel: let me pass, it's all right." " The word?" "I tell you I 

don't know it ; but no matter, I am Col. ." " If you were Jeff. 

Davis himself, you couldn't pass. Stand back !" The colonel had to 
retire, but was dubbed " Jeff. Davis" ever after. 

It is curious that while the sentinel was correct in the performance 
of his duty, yet his intellectual perceptions were so muddled, that he, 
though a good Unionist, spoke of the rebel leader as one who might 
claim authority over him. 

RATHER FISHY. 

Z A gentleman from the troops at the Eelay House says that the sen- 
tinels have, in some instances, a pleasant way of makiug challenges. A 
fellow who had been fishing on the Patapsco, and had secured a fine 
string of fish, was stopped by the usual question, 

^' Who goes there ?" 

"Pisherman," was the answer. 

"Advance, fisherman, and drop two shad," said the alert sentinel, 
looking out for his commissariat. 

A Southern paper gives the following, from a correspondent : — 

On the first night after my arrival, in passing from one quarter to 



WAR LIFE. 49 

another, I was stopped by a sentinel whom I recognized as private 
P , (though he did not recognise me). I was asked for the count- 
ersign, and replied, 

'' A friend with a bottle." 

The reply was — 

" Advance bottle and draw stopper." 

I did so, and was suffered to pass on my way rejoicing.^^^^ 

THE HUMORS OF PICKET DUTY. 

A newspaper correspondent writes the following : 

Soldiers soon learn to be reckless. The encampment of the Second 
Michigan is in the vicinity of Munson's Hill. Their pickets and those 
of the rebels are within talking distance. I was told that they fre- 
quently exchange epithets, the one daring the other to show himself, 
neither losing any opportunity that offered to pick the other off by a 
well-directed bullet. My informant assured me with a gusto that I 
could not appreciate, that it was the greatest fun in the world to go to 
a certain point in the neighborhood, whence he could see and be seen 
by the rebels, and there Hsten to the whizzing of the bullets in the 
bushes and among the trees surrounding him. 

" But," I inquired, '' do they not kill some of your men T' 

'^ Oh," replied he, " they occasionally take down a picket, but we 
are more than even with them." 

A few nights ago, three of our men stole out of camp for the purpose 
of getting a few roasting ears from the corn-field in which the rebel 
picket is stationed. Two were to watch, while the third gathered the 
corn. Just as he commenced picking the ears, a bullet whizzed across 
his thighs, just grazing the skin. Uttering in a loud voice the words 
"I am shot," he turned, drew his gun to his shoulder, and taking de- 
liberate aim, lodged the bullet in the heart of his enemy, who fell dead 
without a groan. These are some of the sports of camp life. How do 
you relish them ? 

SOCIABLE ENEMIES. 

The humane order of Gren. McClellan, against firing upon pickets has 
been reciprocated by the rebels, and the consequence has been that 
scarcely any on either side have been killed during the past week. A 
few nights ago, a G-erman picket guard outside of Arlington heard their 
own language spoken by scouts opposite them. A few words were 
interchanged, and the parties on both sides, finding themselves fellow- 
countrymen, proceeded to meet each other in confidence. So well 
pleased with their interview were they, that after posting a sufficient 
number of guards along the prescribed lines, the majority returned to 



50 WAK LIFE. 

the neutral ground, and building a fire, passed the best part of the 
night together on the warmest and most amicable terms. 

AN AMUSING DIALOGUE. 

An amusing dialogue lately occurred in one of the American camps, 
between a private, who was acting as sentinel near a hospital, and a 
general. On the approach of the latter, the former neglected to give 
the accustomed salute. The general sharply asked : 

^' Y/ho stands guard here ?" 

^^ A chap about my size/' answered the private. 

General — " What are your duties here ?" 

" To allow the sick to come out, and to keep the well in." 

^^ Call your corporal." 

^' You vf on't catch me doing that. I don't intend to stand here two 
hours longer than usual to please you." [The sentinel alluded here 
to a rule which gives corporals the power when they are unnecessarily 
called by sentinels, to punish them by imposing on them two hours' 
extra duty.] 

The general, indignant at these replies, hunted up the Heutenant of 
the guard, and facing the sentinel, said : 

"What instructions do you give your men in relation to saluting 
superior officers ?" 

The heutenant said to the sentinel : 

" Have I not told you to salute your superior officers — do you not 
know that this is your general ?" 

The sentinel, with a look of amazement, replied : 

" If the Almighty is not better acquainted with him as a general 
than I am, he is a lost man, sure." 

COW-BELL DODGE. 

The rebels have resorted to an ingenious way of luring our men into 
their snares. It is known as the " cow-bell dodge," and it was very 
successful for a time, especially with newly-arrived regiments, compa- 
nies of which were placed on picket for the first time. Approaching 
within thirty or forty rods of our outposts and conceahng themselves in 
the woods, they commence the irregular tinkle of a cow-bell. The 
uninitiated picket, not suspecting the rwse, and not yet reconciled to 
drinldng his coffee without milk, goes out to obtain a supply from the 
supposed cow of some Virginia rebel, flattering himself that he has a 
" big thing on secesh." Not until until he finds himself surrounded by 
a half-dozen or so armed rebels does he learn his mistake. In Rich- 
mond are nearly a dozen of our soldiers^ who are probably now regret- 
ting their ready credulity and appetite for millc 



WAKLIFE. 51 

A CONTRABANDISH IDEA OF WAR. 

We were passing along the wharves, a few days ago, wondering at 
the amount of business that was there transacted. While standing 
observing a cargo of horses being transferred from a vessel to the shore, 
an " old contraband" appeared at our elbo'w, touching his old fur hat, 
and scraping an enormous foot. He opened his battery upon us with 
Ihe following : 

^' Well, bos, how is yer ?" 

'' Pretty well, daddy ; how are you ?" 

"I'se fuss rate, I is. B'long to Old Burnemside's boys, dos yer ?" 

" Yes, I belong to that party. Great boys, ain't they ?" 

^^ Well, I thought yer b'longed to dat party, G-reat man, he is, dat's 
sartain. Yes, sir. We waited and waited ; we heard yer was coming, 
but we mos guv yer up. 'Deed we jess did ; but one mornin' we heard 
de big guns, way down ribber, go bang, bang, bang, and de folks round 
yer began to cut dar stick mitey short, and trabbel up de rail-track. 
Den, bress de good Lord, we knowed yer was coming, but we held our 
jaw. Byme-by de sogers begun to cut dar stick, too, and dey did 
trabbel ! Goramity, 'pears dey made de dirt fly ! Yah, ha !" 

" Why, were they scared so bad ?" 

^' De sogers didn't skeer um so much as dem black-boats. 'Kase, 
yer see, de sogers shot soHd balls, and dey don't mind dem so much ; 
but when dem boats say bo-o-m, dey knowed de rotten lolls was 
comin', and dey skeeted, quickern a streak o' litenin'." 

" What rotten balls did the boats throw at themi" 

'' Don't yer know ? Why^ dem balls dat are bad, dar rotten ; fly all 
to bits — 'deed does dey — play de very debbil wid yer. No dodgin' 
dem ere balls ; 'kase yer dunno whar dey fly to— strike yah and fly 
yandah; dat's what skeered 'em so bad !" 

" Well, what are you going to do when the war's over ? Going 
along?" 

^* Dunno, p'raps I goes Norf, wid dis crowd. Pretty much so, I 
guess. 'Peers ter me dis chile had better be movin'." 

"wmSTLE, AND i'lL COME TO YOU, Mr LAD." 

When Lieutenant Slemmer was in command of Fort Pickens, Gen. 
Bragg, of the Secession force's, sent a demand for its surrender. Lieut. 
Slemmer, instead of complying with the demand, sent to inquire the 
number of troops besieging the fort. Gen. Bragg, evidently desirous 
of furnishing him with full information on this point, rephed that he 
had seventeen hundred under his immediate command, and five thou- 
sand more within whistle-call. Lieut. Slemmer's reply was: '^ You 
had better begin to whistle !" 



52 WAR LIFE 



At the battle of Wilson's Creek, McOulloch was the chief in com- 
mand, and it is to his incompetency that Price attributes the disaster 
that befel him on that occasion. The plan of the rebels was to attack 
General Lyon's camp on the very night that Lyon attacked them. For 
this purpose, McCulloch ordered all the pickets to be drawn in, and got 
everything in readiness to march. 

Just then a storm of rain came up, enveloping everything in thick 
darkness. McCulloch decided to wait till the storm was over ; but the 
night continued extremely dark, and the troops fell asleep. The pick- 
ets were not again sent out, and the result was, the rebels had not the 
slightest intimation of the approach of Lyon, until his batteries hurled 
their savage missiles among the rebel breakfast-cups. Col. Mulligan 
says it was related to him as an actual fact, by some of Price's officers 
who were in that battle, that an officer, while eating his breakfast, was 
interrupted by the hurried approach of an orderly, telling him to bring 
up his command, as the enemy were approaching. '^ Is that official?" 
exclaimed the officer, swallowing his coffee. The next moment a six- 
pound shot from one of Captain Totten's guns cut off a sapling near his 

table. ^' Well, by !" cried the astonished officer, " that is official T 

and, dropping his breakfast, he ran to order liis men. 

AN AFFECTING INCIDENT. 

A member of the Second Connecticut Eegiment was an eye-witness 
of the following affecting incident : 

" I captured a prisoner (a G-erman, belonging to the Eighth South 
Carolina Eegiment), and took him to Major Colburn for instructions as 
how to dispose of him. The prisoner requested one privilege, as his 
last, which the major very humanely granted. He said his brother lay 
a short distance off, in a dying condition, and he wished to see him. 
I bade him lead the way, and I followed. He took me to an old log 
hut but a few rods from where our regiment was halted. On the north 
side, in the shade, we found the wounded man. The prisoner spoke 
to him — ^he opened his eyes — the film of death had already overspread 
them, and the tide of life was fast ebbing. He was covered with blood, 
and the swarms of flies and mosquitoes which were fattening upon his 
life's blood, indicated that he had lain there for some time. They 
clasped hands together, muttered a few words in the German language, 
supplicated the Throne of Grace for their families at home, kissed and 
bade each other a final adieu, the prisoner remarking, as I took him by 
the arm to lead him away, for the column was moving : ^ Brother, you 
are dying, and I am a prisoner.' The man was shot by a musket-ball 



WAR LIFE. 53 

in the back, just over the hip, from which fact I inferred that he was 
on the retreat when the deadly ball overtook him." 

A BATTLE SCENE. 

An artilleryman lay on the bloody field of Bull Eun, wounded and 
nearly exhausted from loss of blood, and too weak to get out of the 
way of the tramping troops and horses that flitted about him. A 
mounted horseman came toward him, when he raised the bleeding 
stumps of both his arms, and cried out ; '' Don't tread on me, capt'n. 
See ! both hands are gone." The trooper leaped over him, a shell broke 
near by, and the crushing fragments put the sufferer quickly out of his 
misery. 

"lay close." 

A rifleman at Bull Eun had his piece carried away by a ball, which 
struck it out of his hands just as his company was in the act of advanc- 
ing to storm one of the rebel batteries. Unarmed, he sprang forward 
and threw himself down on his face under the enemy's guns. A Zouave 
lay there wounded and bleeding, out of the way of the murderous fire. 
"Lay close— lay close, old boy," said the Zouave; "The boys'll take 
this ole furnace'n a minnit, and then we'll git up, and give the rebels 
fits agin !" Three minutes after the battery was carried^ and the two 
soldiers were in the thickest of the fight. 

inscrutable providence. 

In the thickest of the contest at Bull Eun, a Secession colonel of cav- 
alry was knocked out of his saddle by a ball from one of our riflemen. 

"There goes Old Baker of the G-eorgia Pirst!'' shouted a soldier in 
the hearing of his chaplain. 

" Who ?" queried the chaplain. 

" Colonel Baker of the rebel ranks has just gone to his long home." 

"Ah, well," replied the chaplain quietly, "the longer I live, the less 
cause I have to find fault with the inscrutable acts of Divine Provi- 
dence." 

A STRANGE MEETING. 

During the battle of Bull Eua, a member of the Seventy -first regi- 
ment of New York states that in one of the charges of that regiment 
upon the enemy's batteries, he met at the point of the bayonet a mem- 
ber of one of the Virginia regiments with whom he had formed inti- 
mate relations of friendship while they were at college in New York. 
Each instantly recognized the other, and, instead of carrying out the 
work of death, they clasped each other's hands with the exclamation, 
" God bless you !" and they separated. 



§4 WABLIFE. 

A HEROIC ACTION. 

At the battle of Bull Eun, the paymaster of the Sixteenth reghnent, 
finding that his regiment was one of the reserve, and would not proba- 
bly come into the action, volunteered to go into the fight, and to assist 
one of his brothers, who was in the Seventy-first. He rode with 
lio'htning speed on a fine steed he took from Staten Island to the scene 
of battle. After having done good service for several hours, he was 
approached by two of the enemy's cavalry — one with the sabre raised 
to hew him down, the other with a pistol elevated for his destruction. 
Quick as thought, when the first came within twelve feet of him, he 
fired his revolver with fatal effect to his opponent ; the other presented 
his pistol to his head, and he, in return, his pistol to his breast. They 
both fired together ; the ball of the enemy passed through his cap, and 
his own ball through the heart, killing both his opponents on the spot. 
He immediately secured the two horses, on one of which he placed a 
wounded soldier of the Seventy-first, then lying helpless near by, and 
told him to ride, which he did, in safety to Washington. The other 
horse he secured and has now with him in Washington as a trophy. 
The name of this intrepid and daring officer is Henry D. Townsend, 
Esq., one of the members of the ISTew York Bar. 

AN INCIDENT AT BULL RUN. 

A rebel — one of the G-eorgia regiment — lay with a fearful wound in 
his side, which tore out several of his ribs. The life-blood of the poor 
fellow was fast oozing out, when one of our troops dashed forward from 
out of the melee, and fell, sharply wounded, close beside him. The 
Georgian recognised his uniform, though he was fatally hurt, and feebly 
held out his hand. " We came into this battle," he said, ^' enemies. Let 
us die friends. Farewell !" He spoke no more, but his companion in 
disaster took the extended hand, and escaped to relate this touching 
incident. 

THE FIGHT FOR THE STANDARD. 

The recovery of the flag of the Second Maine regiment upon tho 
battle-field of Bull Eun is represented as an act of great gallantry and 
noble daring. After two standard-bearers had been shot down, the 
enemy obtained possession of the flag and bore it away. Instantly 
the cry arose, "We must have that flag!" and upon the instant Col. 
Jamieson started up the hill, followed by all his men. The rebels who 
had the flag turned and made a charge ; they were repulsed with heavy 
loss by the Maine boys, who succeeded in,re-taking their flag all covered 
with the blood of the enemy. 



WARLIFE. 55 

A DYING soldier's REQUEST. 

Among the wounded soldiers of the rebel army taken a prisoner by 
General McClellan's forces, one who was dying sent for an officer, and 
told him that " he would find his musket clean and unloaded, and the 
touch-hole in the cone on which the cap is placed filled with wax," and 
then with his last breath he prayed for the Union. The gun was ex- 
amined, and the tale of this sadly- wronged victim of Southern tyranny 
proved to be true. In like manner, it is supposed, hundreds, if not 
thousands, of true Union men are enrolled in the army of the se- 
cessionists. 

THE LITTLE DRUAOIER BOY. 

A little drummer boy was cut completely in two during the retreat 
from Bull Run by a canister shot, which struck him just under the 
arms. A piercing ^' Oh !" emitted in childish treble, the soldiers 
who were near him say, was a sound that will ring in their ears 
for life. 

I GUESS i'lL HAVE TO FIGHT SOME, 

, At the batlie of Big Bethel the captain of the Foxboro' company 
gave orders to his men when they saw the flash of the guns in the en- 
emy's battery, to fall instantly on the ground, that the balls might pass 
over them. One of the company not hearing the order, remained 
standing when the enemy fired, and seeing his comrades all fall to the 
ground, was heard to say to himself: " My God, are they all killed ! I 
guess I shall have to fight somer , 

BATTLE INCIDENT. 

The following incident was related by a captain, who was in the 
battle of Springfield, Mo., to the writer : — 

He observed one of his men, who was stretched upon the field by a 
ball that had shattered his leg, raise himself up by the aid of his gun, 
and hobble a little distance, and appeared to be pounding something in 
the ground, but what it was the captain could not see. After a little 
while the captain, thinking that it must be something very unusual to 
make a man exert liimself so when his leg was in a condition to need 
amputation, went up and asked him what he had been doing. It ap- 
pears that there was a wounded '^ Secesh" very near the Yankee, and 
in very nearly the same condition, but, observing the wounded Union 
man, he began to taunt him with cowardice, saying, " Ah ! you d — d 
white-livered Yankee! you thought we couldn't fight, didn't you? 
What do you think now?" This was too much for the loyal Yankee, 



56 WARLIFE. 

and he raised himself by the greatest exertion, managed to reach the 
traitor, deliberately beat out the brains of the rebel, and then hobbled 
back and laid down again. The captain went to where the fellow lay, 
and found that the man had clubbed his gun, and with the stock had 
smashed the head of the rebel, killing him on the spot. 

QUAKER VOLUNTEER. 

A good one is told of a Quaker volunteer, who was in a Virginia 
skirmish. Coming in pretty close quarters with a rebel, he remarked : 
^' Friend, it's unfortunate, but thee stands just where I am going to 
shoot," and blazing away, down came Secesh, 

THE IRISH BRIGADE IN MISSOURI. 

An anecdote of the war in Missouri was thu^ told by Col. Mulligan 
in a recent address at Detroit : 

''With your permission I will now relate a circumstance which oc- 
curred in Missouri. On a pleasant spot, just outside Jefferson City, lay 
encamped two regiments, over which floated twin banners — banners 
which will be twin forever — the Harp of Ireland and the Stars and 
Stripes of America. [Applause.] Under this twin banner lay as gay 
and rollicking a regiment as you ever met, viz: the Irish Brigade. 
Instructions came requiring the commander to report at headquarters 
for orders. These instructions came (to use a military term) ' after tap,' 
which is a time when civil men should be in bed. [Laughter.] The 
question was asked, 'When can you march?' ' Immediately,' was the 
answer. ' Well, I wish you to go to Tipton's relief, cut your way 
through the enemy, go to Lexington, take it, and hold it.' [Cheers.] 
The next day saw the Irish Brigade on its way to Lexington. [Cheers.] 
As we moved along war smoothed his wrinkled brow. The chaplain 
mixed his admonitions with occasionally chanting a snatch of an Irish 
melody. The major was a married man, and chanted, ' Ever of thee 
I am fondly dreaming.' The lieutenant colonel was a married man, 
and, not to be personal, I was a married man, and followed the major. 
[Laughter and applause.] Thus we went on, until arriving within two 
miles of Lexington, where we encamped, and previous to entering the 
city we washed and brushed up so as to make a respectable appearance. 
[Laughter.] We went in with our solitary six-pounder muzzled in 
roses and breeched in evergreens, and, notwithstanding our weary nine 
days' march, we looked well. [Cheers.] We started with three days' 
rations, and six days we had to live on the country. We were told to 
cut our way through, but we left the impress of our teeth far deeper than 
that of the sword in the section through which we passed." [Laughter 
and applause.] 



^--^' WAELIFE. 51 

AN INCIDENT IN THE BATTLE OF LEXINGTON. 

A returned member of the Irish Brigade relates an incident in the 
battle of Lexington, which for graphic interest has seldom been equaled. 
It also illustrates the matter-of-course manner in which the bojs of the 
brigade went about their savage work. In one company of over eight^ 
men, there was a great scarcity of pipes, and the boys had to take ti/ as, 
smoking the same dilapidated dhudeen alternately. The company was 
firing by volleys upon the rebels at their intrenchments down on the 
side hill; Jim kept the pipe in his mouth, and pulled away with great 
energy while he reloaded his musket. Pat, who was fighting at his 
side, had not had a smoke. ^' Grive us the pipe, Jim," said Pat. ^' Wait 
a bit," said Jim, " ye haven't earned yer tobacker yet," and Jim puffed 
and blazed away. So did Pat ; and as the smoke rolled up between 
friends and foes he begged again for the pipe. But Jim still clung to 
the luxurious weed. Presently a bullet whistled by, and knocked, the 
pipe out of Jim's mouth, demolishing it. Pat witnessed the catastrophe, 
and sat down on the ground in despair. The Heutenant seeing him, 
demanded what he was doing there. ^' Faith, sir, the inimy's broke 
Jim's dhudeen intirely, and there isn't another one in the company;" 
and the soldier resumed his place in the ranks with a look of unutter- 
able disgust at having to fight without his accustomed smoke. 

A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY. 

A party of Secessionists surrounded a church at Dunsburg, Mo., 
where they thought a Union company was quartered. 

'^ Surrender !" shouted an ofi&cer from one side. 
. "See you d — d first!" v/as the reply from the other. 

For an hour the Secessionists fired into the large windows of the 
building, and then retired with seven killed and twenty-four wounded. 
There was some astonishment when the subsequent discovery was made 
that there was nobody in the building, and the rebels had been shoot- 
ing each other through the windows. 

CLOSE UP. 

There is a story of the affair at Phillippa. A certain Indiana com- 
pany, almost worn out with the march, was straggling along, with very 
little regard to order. Hurrying up to his men, the captain shouted : 

" Close up, boys ! close up ! If the enemy were to fire on you, 
when you are straggling along that way, they couldn't hit a man of 
you. Close up !" 

And the boys closed up immediately. 



58 W A R L I F E . 

A NOBLE BOY. 

Shortly after the main body of the army was in retreat, a charge 
was made by the enemy's cavahy upon the hospital grounds, at Elgin's 
Ford, and those around the well, who were procuring water to carry to 
the wounded. At this time Charles Morris McCook, only seventeen 
jw.r^ of age, of Company F, Second Eegiment, Ohio Volunteers, the 
youngest son in the army of Judge Daniel McCook, was also at the 
well, when his return to his regiment was cut off by a section of the 
cavalry. He retreated along a line of fence and discharged his musket, 
killing one of the enemy. He then entered an open field, and was 
attacked by the leader of the troop, who had been attracted to him by 
his fatal shot, and commanded to surrender. He rephed, ^' No, never, 
never to a rebel." He manfully kept the trooper off with his bayonet, 
his gun being empty. The rebel not being able to take him prisoner, 
took a course around him and shot him in the back, then approaching 
the wounded boy, he cried: "Xow, damn you, will you surrender?'' 
He replied, ^' No, never ; no, no, never." The father of young McCook, 
who, with another gallant son, Edwin S. McCook, had been busy all 
day carrying the wounded from the battle-field to the hospital, discov- 
ering the perilous situation of his brave and loyal son, called out, 
^' Young man, surrender." He answered, " No, never, never." The 
trooper then began striking him with the flat of his sword over the 
shoulders, saying at the same time that he would pierce him through. 
His father seeing that his boy was wounded, insisted upon his surren- 
dering, as he had done all that a soldier could do. The noble boy, 
bleeding, unarmed, and almost helpless, then surrendered. His father 
approached the commander, and asked for the prisoner to place him in 
the hospital, offering to hold himself responsible for his safety as a pris- 
oner of war, when the villain replied, '' Damn your responsibility ; I 
know you." After some words, the wounded prisoner was reluctantly 
handed over to be taken to the hospital. The trooper then dashed 
round the hospital to assist in carrying off Lieutenant Wilson, of the 
Second New York Eegiment, who was then in the hands of a horse- 
man. This dragoon was shot by a stray ball as the trooper came up, 
and Lieutenant Wilson finding himself free from his captor, drew his 
revolver and shot his pursuer in the neck, killing him instantly. 

A HERO. 

Shortly after the battle of Carnifex Ferry, communication was cut 
off between the federal camps at Elkwater and at Cheat Mountain sum- 
mit, the rebels holding possession of the road. It was necessary that 
communication should be re-estabUshed between General Eeynolds at 
the former place, and Colonel Kimball at the latter. Several attempts 



T^'APw LIFE. 59 

had been made, but the messengers had been killed in every case. Four 
had already set out and been picked off. 

The Tvhole camp at Elkwater was in danger, and it was necessary to 
get word to the summit at once, and another young man volunteered, 
but he too was never heard from after he left the camp. The com- 
manding officer then stated to his men their danger, and called upon 
some one to again volunteer to perform the duty. Xot a man responded 
in all the camp, until at last one was found in Captain Loomis' Michigan 
battery. 

Hemy H. Xorringtou, of Detroit, offered to peril his life to save the 
others. He started out and succeeded in eluding the enemy, crawhng 
miles upon his hands and knees, with his message rolled up and in his 
mouth, ready to swallow in a moment if he was taken, and finally 
reached the friendly camp. He had also to return, and after receiving 
his dispatches set out in the night, the whole camp shaking hands with 
him, never expecting to see him again. He traveled all night, guided 
by the i^orth star, and the next day crawled as before on his hands and 
knees. 

He finally struck the main road a few miles below Elkwater. Seeing 
one of the enemy's cavalry horses tied to a stake by the road-side, and 
the owner not visible, he crept up, cut the rope with his knife, and rode 
ofi" in hot haste, with several shots whizzing around liim. He arrived 
safely in camp and dehvered his dispatches, being the only survivor of 
six that had attempted the perilous task. 

As a reward for his bravery, he was promoted in the company to be 
chief of a piece, and was placed upon the commanding Greneral's staff 
as Mounted Orderly. He was presented by the captain of his company 
with a sword, and by his general with an elegant revolver. He was 
greeted upon parade with nine cheers by the entire company, and his 
pay more than doubled. Besides this, favorable mention was made of 
his feat and the great service he had performed, in the of&cial report 
forwarded to the Department at Washington. 

THE '• BLTLLy" DUTCHilEX. 

CoL McCook, of the Ohio troops, made his mark at Carnifex Ferry, 
and inscribed his watchword on the rolls of fame. He was charging up 
and down the columns, with his hat gone, none knew whither, his face 
blazing with the hght of battle, both arms gesticulating, while he 
roared: '-'Forward, my bully Dutchmen, and we'll go over the d — d 
intrenchments, if we die on the other side !" 

ALWAYS READY. 

''It was thought no possible feat of physical endurance could equal 
that ' night march to Phillippa.' We still tliir:k, it unsurpassed. Col. 



60 W A R L I F E . 

Tyler thinks * what man has done man can do.' He adds five miles to 
the march, but has no rain. When it was found that there was 
$30,000 in gold in Weston, likely to be taken by "Wise, General 
McClellan started for Clarksburg, twenty-three miles from Weston, to 
send Colonel Tyler and liis regiment to get the money. Tyler never 
sleeps, and seems full of the idea that his office is to be no sinecure. 
He anticipated the order, and parading his men on a highland near the 
depot at which McClellan was to arrive, he told them to keep an eye 
on him when the train arrived, and if the word from McClellan was 
march, he would wave his handkerchief, and tliey could show Clarks- 
burg their heels. The train arrived, and General McClellan rushed up 
to Colonel Tyler as he sat on his horse, and asked : ^ Colonel Tyler, how 
soon can you march for Weston ?' ^ I'll show you soon if you will look 
yonder;' and, waving his handkerchief, the whole regiment struck a 
double-quick, and disappeared like the host of Eoderick Dhu. Major 
Casement started with two horses, but in a few hours was tugging 
away on foot, both his horses loaded with soldiers whose physical 
strength had given out, and when they entered Weston, both ' Jack' 
and his horses were loaded with muskets, so as to favor poor exhausted 
soldiers. We are ready to go our pile on the gallant Seventh 
Eegiment." 

A HEROIC ACT. 

A correspondent of the Cincinnati Gazette, writing from the camp 
near Somerset, Ky., says: 

*^ While we rested, a picket was thrown in advance, and Colonel 
Connell, with Lieut. Sipher of the artillery, and several other officers, 
rode forward to reconnoitre the enemy's position, and to select a place 
for a camp. Finding that my horse had cast a shoe, I ' retreated' to a 
blacksmith's shop a mile in the rear of the regiment, to have it re- 
placed. While there, I heard several shots, but, supposing them to be 
on the other side of the river, paid no attention to them at the time. 
I had gone but a little distance on my return to the regiment, when I 
met a boy making his way quite rapidly toward a place of safety. 
^ What's the news ?' ' Oh ! there's a good deal of news ! There's 
going to be a fight in a few minutes. The colonel is killed, and Capt. 
Ricketts is taken prisoner.' Bad enough news, I thought. The next 
man informed me that the colonel's horse had come back without his 
rider, and that Capt. Rippey was either killed or captured. However, 
when I reached the head of the regiment^ I found Col. Connell there 
disguised quite efiectually inside of Capt. Stinchcomb's hat, and Capt. 
Rippey with his company. But all eyes were turned anxiously up the 
road which led over a hill toward the Ford. Capt. Ricketts was still 



WAR LIFE. 61 

gone, and probably captured. A party of rebel cavalry had ridden sud- 
denly on our little band of officers. Our pickets had for some reason 
failed to give notice of the enemy's approach, and the horsemen had 
got witliin forty yards of Col. C. before he was aware of their coming. 
He was some distance in advance, Capt. Ricketts and Lieut. Sipher 
being the only ones of tlie party near him. As he turned his horse, 
the enemy fired upon him. After running a short disance^ the horse 
had sprung suddenly to one side, frightened by a stump, the saddle had 
turned, the girth broken, and the colonel was thrown heavily to the 
ground. Eising, he had fallen again; a sharp pain in his side, caused 
by his fall, made him believe he had been wounded. The horrors ofj 
capture and the condition of his regiment flashed across his miud. 
^ For G-od's sake, Eicketts, take me behind you.' Capt. E. instantly 
turned, rode back, jumped off his horse — ' There, colonel, take him ; I 
have eleven shots, and they can't take me' — and ran for cover. There 
was no time for protests against such noble generosity. Col. Connell 
was unarmed and hurt, and so climbing into the saddle, he made his 
way to us, the rest of his little band accompanying him. Two pistol- 
shots showed that Capt. Eicketts was determined to sell his life dearly, 
but all was uncertainty as to his fate. Colonel C, with two or three 
others, started back to the hill-top to try to learn what had become of 
him. We stood watching, with beating hearts, but scarcely a whisper. 
All at once the words passed along the lines : ' There's a man in the 
woods waving his sword.' All eyes were directed across an interven- 
ing field to the skirt of woodland. In a moment a dozen of Eickett's 
men are over the fence and running across the field. Everybody sees 
the man now, walking slowly along a fence row. ' Is it the captain ?' 
'He must be wounded.' Colonel C. and those with him gallop 
swiftly down the field toward the comer. They meet him. There is a 
crowding round him. Hats are waved. How his hand must ache with 
those fervent grasps I 

" Some one among us calls : ' Three cheers for Capt. Eicketts.' But 
there is no response. We are too glad — too grateful for noisy demon- 
strations. But many a hearty ' thank Grod' goes out with the deep 
breath of relieved suspense. Eicketts is safe, and henceforth every 
man in the regiment is his brother." 

INDIANS AT PEA RIDGE. 

It is said the Indians in the battle of Pea Eidge, became so excited 
by the alcohol they had drank, and the scenes that they witnessed, that 
they turned their weapons upon their own allies, and butchered and 
scalped the rebels and Federalists with the most charming indifference. 
An instance of this is given by one of the prisoners, a member of one 



62 W A R L I F E . 

of the companies that suffered from what the Southerners beheved to 
be the treachery of the savages. 

Four companies of the Arkansas troops belonging to Ben McCulloch's 
division, v^ere marching up one of the ridges north of Sugar Creek, on 
Saturday morning, to strengthen the enemy, who were hardly pressed 
by G-eneral Sigel. They soon came in sight of about three hundred 
Creeks and Choctaws, who stood on the brow of an adjacent hill. 
"When within about one hundred and fifty yards of the savages, the 
latter opened fire on them. The rebel major who commanded the bat- 
talion, cried out to them that they were kilHng their friends ; but the 
Indians did not heed what he said, and again discharged their pieces. 

'^ The d — d rascals have turned traitors," cried the major. " Upon 
them, Arkansas, and give them no quarter." 

The Southerners needed no second order. They attacked them with 
great energy, and for nearly an hour a desperate battle was waged on 
the Eidge ; the Indians fighting with bhnd fury, and scalping all who 
fell into their hands, whether hving, wounded, or dead. This is de- 
scribed as one of the severest actions of the entire battle, and the In- 
dians, who were finally routed, are said to have lost one hundred and 
twenty-five in killed and wounded. 

THE FIELD AT FORT DONELSON. 

I was invited on Sunday morning by G-eneral McClernand, to take a 
ride over the battle-field. It would be dif&cult to describe, in a few 
words, the scenes which have met my view. The battle-ground was 
chiefly confined to the space outside the rebel fortifications, extending 
up the river bank a distance of two miles, to the point where G-eneral 
McClernand's force ralhed from the retirement which they were at first 
forced into by the impetuous charge of the enemy. It must be remem* 
bered, that it was here that the grand sortie was made by the rebels, 
up the river bank, with the intention of turning our right flank and 
cutting their way out. Some ten or twelve thousand men composed 
the force sent out for this purpose. They advanced under cover of a 
deadly fire of artillery, and steadily drove General McClernand's force 
before them a distance of fifty or sixty rods. Our troops here made a 
stand, and, being reinforced by one or two regiments, began the assault 
before which the enemy were forced to retreat. The gTOund was 
contested with desperation, and the slaughter on both sides was im- 
mense. The whole space of two miles was strewed with dead, who 
lay in every imaginable shape and form. 

Federals and rebels were promiscuously mingled, sometimes grappled 
in the fierce death- throe, sometimes facing each other as they gave and 
received the fatal shot or thrust, sometimes lying across one another, 



WAR LIFE. 63 

and again heaped in piles which lay six or seven deep. I could ima- 
gine nothing more terrible, than the silent indications of agony that 
marked the features of the pale corpses which lay at every step. 
Though dead, and rigid in every muscle, they still writhed and seemed 
to turn to catch the passing breeze for a cooling breath. Staring eyes, 
gaping mouths, clenched hands, and strangely contracted limbs, seem- 
ingly drawn into the smallest compass, as if by a mighty effort to rend 
asunder some irresistible bond which held them down to the torture of 
vv^hich they died. One sat against a tree, and with mouth and eyes 
wide open, looked up into the sky, as if to catch a glance at its fleeting 
spirit. Another clutched the branch of an overhanging taree, and hung 
half suspended, as in the death pang he raised himself partly from the 
ground. The other hand grasped his faithful musket, and the compres- 
sion of the mouth told of the determination which would have been 
fatal to a foe, had life ebbed a minute later. A third clung with both 
hands to a bayonet which was buried in the ground^ in the act of strik- 
ing for the heart of a rebel foe. G-reat numbers lay in heaps, just as 
the fire of the artillery mowed them down, manghng their forms into 
an almost undistinguishable mass. Many of our men had evidently 
fallen victims to the rebel sharpshooters, for they were pierced through 
the head by rifle bullets, some in the forehead, some in the eyes, others 
on the bridge of the nose, in the cheeks, and in the mouth. This cir- 
cumstance verified a statement made to me, by a rebel of&cer among 
the prisoners, that their men were trained to shoot low and aim for the 
face, while ours as a general thing, fired at random, and shot over their 
heads. 

The enemy, in their retreat, carried off their wounded, and a great 
many of their dead, so that ours far outnumbered them on the field. 
The scene of action had been mostly in the woods, although there were 
two open places of an acre or two, where the fight had raged furiously, 
and the ground was covered with dead. All the way up to theh- en- 
trenchments the same scene of death was presented. There were two 
miles of dead strewn thickly, mingled with firearms, artillery, dead 
horses, and the paraphernalia of the battle-field. It was a scene never 
to be forgotten — never to be described. 

AN INCIDENT AFTER THE SURRENDER OF FORT DONELSON. 

"Hallo!" cried a cannonier belonging to McAllister's howitzer bat- 
tery, to a rebel cannonier whom he recognized by something in his 
apparel. '' Hallo I where was your battery stationed ?" The Secesh 
stopped and pointed out the direction. " What ! over there ?" exclaimed 
howitzer ; " then you must have been the fellows who were popping 
us so like thunder yesterday. Did you see any little twenty-four pound 



64 W A K L I F E . 

shells over your way ?" " Well, I reckon we did, and plenty of 'em. 
Did you throw them ?" And the two cannoniers stopped to discuss 
the relative merits of six pound shot and twenty-four pound shell. " It 
is strange how well we hke a man after we have fought with him 1" 

ANECDOTE OF GENERAL BUFORD. 

Greneral (formerly Colonel) Buford of the 42d Illinois, who was pro- 
moted for capturing four horses, three mules, and half-a-dozen flint-lock 
muskets at Union City, importuned Commodore Poote, day after day, 
from the commencment of the bombardment of No. 10, for a tug, one 
of those saucy Httle steam propellers that are constantly frisking around 
from boat to boat, and obhging everybody. The Commodore put him 
off from time to time, until one morning, when he learned that the 
President had sent in the Colonel's name to the Senate as a proper 
person to wear a star. Soon afterward the Colonel came aboard, when 
the Commodore congratulated him on his good fortune. 

^'What is that?" asked the Colonel, who had not heard of his 
promotion. 

" Why, you have been nominated a Brigadier- G-eneral," replied the 
Commodore. 

'^ Ah ! then. Commodore," said the incorrigible Colonel, ''^ I must 
have my tug^ 

The Commodore had but one resource, and that was to grant his 
request, which he did. For a fortnight the Colonel was happy with 
his tug, which puffed and screamed around at a fearful rate. But, alas ! 
how uncertain is sublunary bhss I ISTight before last the httle Mercury 
caught fire and was destroyed. It is needless to add that the Colonel 
is inconsolable at his loss, and has resolved never to set his heart on 
anything again. 

A negro's account of the wildcat retreat. 

A gentleman whose slave accompanied a young Confederate ofi&cer, 
on the Wildcat expedition, asked the darkey, on his return to Nashville, 
how long the army was on the march from its encampment to the 
battle-field. ^' About four days," was the reply. " Well, how long 
were they in marching back ?" ^^ About two days, massa." " Why, 
how is that, Joe ? Could the men travel any faster back, when they 
were broken down with four days' march and a severe fight, than they 
traveled forward, after a good rest in camp?" ^' Oh, I'll tell you what 
made the difference, massa," said old Joe; ^^it was the music. They 
marched-toward Wildcat to the tune of Dixie. When they marched 
back, the tune was, " Fire in the mountains — run^ boys, run ?" 



"WAR LITE. 65 

A HEROIC ACHIEVEMENT. 

A correspondent of the Missouri Democrat, writing from Island No. 10, 
gives the following account of a gallant achievement by Lieutenant 
Allen, of the Twenty-seventh Illinois Regiment : 

" In a former letter, I wrote of a contemplated attempt on the part 
of Lieutenant Allen, of Company C, of the Twenty-seventh Illinois 
to spike the guns of the upper rebel fort at this place, christened, we 
have been informed, Fort Polk. This bold task was undertaken on 
Friday night last, when the Heutenant, in company with four other men, 
dropped down in a skiff, and discovered a large body of rebels at work 
constructing platforms for supporting their cannon. The lieutenant re- 
solved not to be totally disappointed, and, landing, very coolly ap- 
proached a sentinel, who was pacing a parapet at the lower extremity 
of the fort, and, representing himself as a brother rebel, remarked, ' I 
will relieve you from duty now, sir.' The rebel guard, wearied and 
thankful, moved off to his quarters, when the lieutenant spiked the 
64-pounder at the lower part of the fort, which was served with such 
accuracy against us on last Monday. The proximity of the laboring 
rebels would not suffer him to prosecute any further a work which had 
already proven him a daring ofi&cer." 

COL. JOHNSON AT THE BATTLE OF SHILOH. 

Col. Johnson, of the Twenty- eighth Ilhnois Regiment, was placed in 
command of a brigade on Monday morning by G-en. McClernand. The 
brigade was ordered to charge the right, and left thrown forward. In 
the movement three of the rebel officers were caught in a trap, and in 
endeavoring to effect their escape were discovered by Col. Johnson. 
He had but one load left in his revolver, but put spurs to his horse, and 
rode diagonally across the open space. When witliin pistol shot he 
fired, and one of the officers, a major, fell forward in his saddle. The 
colonel thought he was " playing Indian," and made up his mind to bring 
him from the saddle, or lose his arm in the attempt. When the horses 
came together, both running, the colonel grabbed him, and, to his 
astonishment, brought off the whole top of his head. The gentleman had 
worn a wig. The rebel major fell from his saddle mortally wounded. 
Col. Johnson has what he at first supposed to be a scalp upon exhibition 
in Ms "boudoir." 

GEN. NELSON ON THE BATTLE-FIELD OF SHILOH. 

Shortly after the renewal of the fight at Shiloh on Monday morning, 
Gen. Nelson was to be seen wherever the danger was the greatest, en- 
couraging and leading forward his warriors. At one point, wishing to 
make a charge upon the enemy, the fat general dismounted from his 



66 WARLIFE. 

horse, stripped off his coat, seized a musket in hand, and placing him- 
self before his troops, exclaimed, ^' Come, boys, follow me ; if they can't 
hit me they can't hit a barn." The boys all rushed forward with a 
cheer, and drove the enemy from their position, which, being quite a 
commanding one, proved to be one of the greatest achievements of the 
day. The fat knight showed his prowess on the field of Sbiloh, and 
proved himself a man-of-war in every sense of the word, making good 
his assertion of the previous night, '• tliat he would, in the morning, 
show them some man-of-war fighting." 

The boys all now look upon him as quite a brick, and having every 
confidence in his abihties, they are ready and willing to follow him to 
the further end of Secessiondom. Their war-cry now is, '' Bully for 
oldJSTelson!" 



A Western correspondent relates a Teutonic incident connected with 
the battle at Mill Springs, as follows : 

A soldier had discovered a barrel which proved to contain apple 
brandy. Pulling out the corn cob from the bunghole, I turned it up, 
and filled a canteen. While doing this, one of Bob McCook's skir- 
mishers came in, and says : 

^' Yot you eets there ?" 

I replied that it appeared to be pretty fair apple brandy, upon which 
the Dutchman ran to the door, calling out, furiously : 

^'Hans! Henrick! schnapps! see, com a rous!" 

Upon which a dozen Dutchmen came in, and the brandy which was 
not spilled upon the ground was soon transferred to their canteens. 

I said — '' Boys, you had better look out — this is a doctor's shop, and 
there may be strychnine in that brandy." 

They paused a moment to look at each other, when one of them ex- 
claimed — 

" Py Grot, Hans, I tells you vot I do ; I trinks some, and if it don't 
kill me, den you trinks." 

Upon which he took a long and hearty pull at his canteen, and 
smacking his lips a moment, said: "All right, Hans, go ahead." 

" PLUMB NIGH LIKE PHEACHnr'." 

There is a good story going the rounds at Fortress Monroe concern- 
ing a certain general, who is pious enough in creed, but on certain oc- 
casions, when his '^ dander" is up, can do full justice to his feelings by 
'' giving them mouth." When the Merrimac came down, the general 
was all motion ; he was highly excited, and now and then he eased liis 
feehngs by certain forcible ejaculations, A contraband, who heard him, 



WAR LIFE. 67 

gives a very good description of how the white-haired old man moved 
about in the midst of the storm of shells. ''By golly, boss," said he, 
^'' but de way dat old mass' gin'ral moved about dat day war a caution. 
He went dis way and dat way ; he went hea' and he went dar ; but 
to hab hearn de old mass' gin'ral swar! Boss, it's de solemn truf, dat 
de way de old gin'ral swar luas plumb nigh like 'preachiri /" 

INCIDENT OF THE ADVANCE ON NORFOLEl. 

The brave Colonel Weiss, of the 20th, K Y. S. Y., who had done all 
the hard work of the day, insisted that his regiment was not weary ; 
and that, as they were the first to advance upon land, they should have 
the right to be first in Norfolk. He made the request, which was 
granted by the commanding general. 

''Who is that grotesquely dressed o£S.cer, in commana of the ISTew 
York Twentieth?" asked Sec. Chase, who had observed him closely 
during the day, of G-eneral Wool. 

" It is Lieutenant Colonel Weiss," replied the general. 

"ISTo, sir," said Mr. Chase, "it is Colonel Weiss. He has earned the 
• title, and shall have it." 

A TOUCHING INCIDENT. 

The venerable mother — nearly, if not quite, four-score — of one who 
recently fell bravely leading on his troops in battle, gazed calmly upon 
the face of her son, after his body was brought home for burial. At 
last a movement was made by a friend to cover the face. The noble 
woman put him gently aside, and carefully performing the act herself, 
said: " My son, I have covered you many times before; now I do it 
for the last time, and with the flag of your country." 

"an excellent house for a hospital." 

A few days ago, as G-eneral Buell was riding on horseback through 
the streets of i^ashville, an aristocratic lady, a Mrs. W., living in a fine, 
large house, stood at an open door or window, waved a rebel flag 
toward him, and cried, " Hurrah for Jeff. Davis and the Southern Con- 
federacy!" The general reined his horse, turned toward the lady, 
touched his hat with all the courtesy and suavity for which he is re- 
markable, and, surveying the fine house from top to bottom with the 
eye of a connoisseur, quietly remarked, "An excellent house for a hos- 
pital." In less than two hours every room was full of sick soldiers, 
and Mrs. W. was poHtely requested to take kind care of them. We 
heartily congratulate her upon her blessed privilege of ministering to 
the needs of suffering patriots. 



68 WARLIFE. 

A GOOD EXCUSE. 

One of the rebel officers taken prisoner at Fairfax was taken to task 
by another secessionist because he failed to make a bold fight. The 
prisoner defended his conduct with the petulant ejaculation : — 

'' How the deuce could I ? The first thing I knowed, one of them 
d — d horsemen rode up to me and knocked my sword out of my hand, 
and grabbed me by the hair, and jerked me up before him, and rode 
right off. I couldn't help myself." 

The statement was deemed satisfactory, and all the Dixieites joined 
in a protest against that mode of fighting. 

THE SWINDLED MARKET MAN. 

A market man at B , a few days since, was swindled out of his 

vegetables, which had a tendency to excite his ire to a considerable ex- 
tent. He told the commanding officer there that if the angel G-abriel 
stopped at B , there would be no resurrection. 

''Why?" asked the officer. 

'' Because the people would swindle him out of his horn before he 
had time to make a single toot." 

AN ENRAGED SOLDIER. 

One of the Ohio volunteers, who had just come in from the battle of 
!Bu11 Eun, was being spoken to concerning it, when a Washingtonian re- 
marked that the soldiers who had come in must be cowards, or they 
would not have run away. The Ohio soldier overheard him, and im- 
mediately drew a pistol, walked up to the person, and told him to 
" unsay what he had said, or he would shoot him on the spot." The 
man hesitated, and the soldier said, " Are we, after fighting for hours 
in front of batteries, to be called cowards because we were ordered to 
retreat ?" and again threatened to blow the man's brains out on the 
spot, if he did not at once apologize. This the man did, and so saved 
his life. 

"a SHELLING OUT." 

After the fall of PortEoyal quite a number of " contrabands" came 
into camp, and they gave some ludicrous, and some terrific accounts of 
the " shelling out " the " navy boys " gave the Palmetto fellows. One 
of them says " de Georgy fellows run fust, den de Sout Carlina bosses 
run like de debble, and de Dutch went after dem, and none of dem 
eber dun come back agin." Another states that he had come up 
with some sweet a tates for de offisa , bosses, and had stayed till 
de place got so mixed up he could hardly see hi-s way out, and on 



WAR LIFE. 69 

being asked how it looked when the storm of shells was hailing on the 
fort and island, he said it looked " jes Hke if de fire and de -brimstone 
war a comin down, and de airth war a gwine up," and we don't doubt 
that it looked " jes so " to more than one poor fellow on that hot Thurs- 
day noon. 

A STRONG TEMPTATION. 

Daring the stay of the Union army in the vicinity of Washington, 
one of our captains was killed by a rebel soldier, a good marksman, and 
well known to our sharpshooters, and they determined to have him. 
So, one day, while on picket duty, he was discovered skulking along at 
some distance, and it was arranged that all our men but one, a sharp- 
shooter named Strow, should retreat slowly, leaving him concealed be- 
hind a tree. As they expected, the rebel marksman followed, and 
when an opportunity occurred fired upon the retreating force, and at 
the same instant was shot through the heart by the concealed sharp- 
shooter. This was in the brigade of Gren. Smith, who has- since ob- 
tained part of the regiment of sharpshooters to accompany his advance. 

While this detachment was marching through the camp, in front of 
the general's headquarters, a soldier discharged his piece. As it was 
contrary to orders, he was arrested and brought up before the general 

"Did vou fire that shot?" asked Gen. Smith. 

"Yes,^sir." 

"Then why did yon fire ?" 

" I was tempted, sir." 

"What tempted you?" 

"That httle rascal," said the sharpshooter, pulling a fine fat gray 
squirrel out from under his coat tail ; " he tempted me. Se ran up the 
tree and laid bis head saucily over the crotch of a Hmb, and stuck up 
his tail as if to dare me, and I couldn't stand it, so I fired. 

And sure enough, he had taken off the squirrel's head as neatly as 
possible. 

" Are you the fellow who shot the rebel that killed my captain ?" 
asked General Smith, with a smile. 

" Yes, sir." 

" Well, go to your quarters." 

A "contraband." 

One of the Pike County boys at Louisiana, Mo., found an old darkey 
in the woods who had heard that secession property was to be confis- 
cated, and therefore commenced by executing the order upon himself. 
He surrendered to the invader, and gave a history of himself, concluded 
by saying : 



fO WAR LIFE. 

" Gorra ! massa. I'll brack your boots, brush your clothes, bring 
your water — do anything you want me, if you'll only confiscate *the old 
'oman." 

A HIT AT RED TAPE. 

The following story is a good hit at that great worm of official pre- 
sumption, vanity and circumlocution, known as Eed Tape. 

An unsophisticated darkey waited upon a certain military gentleman 
with a bill of $1.15, for washing done at the camp hospital, which, after 
undergoing a rigid scrutiny by the officer, was returned with the follow- 
ing explanation which the astonished son of Ethiopia hstened to with 
an equal amount of wonder and perplexity. 

^'This bill," said the military gentleman, ''will first have to be sent 
to the Quartermaster G-eneral at Washington, and he will report to the 
Adjutant-General, who will lay it before the Secretary of War, for his 
approval. The Adjutant being satisfied, it will be sent to the Auditor 
of State, who will approve of it and send it to the Secretary of the 
Treasury, who will send it to the United States Treasurer, who will at 
once dispatch an order to the Collector of this Port to pay the bill. 

The darkey relieved himself of a long-drawn sigh. 

"Then, massa," he remarked, ''dat last gemblam you spoke of pays 
for de washing, does he ?" 

"!N"o," continued the other, ''he should hand it to the Quartermas- 
ter ; but as there is no such officer here at present, some proper person 
must be selected by somebody for that purpose, who must be appointed 
by the Secretary of War, under direction of the President, and his ap- 
pointment must be approved by the Senate. Congress not being in 
session now, the commission cannot be issued until after it meets. When 
this commission is received, the Quartermaster will show it to the Col- 
onel, and demand the funds. You will then call upon him : he will 
examine your bill, and if correct he will pay it, you giving your 
receipt." 

The unfortunate nigger first scratched his head, then shook it, and 
finally said: 

" I guess I'll hab to let dis washing slide ; but it am de last job I does 
for Uncle Sam, shu." 

A BAD BLUNDER. 

At a late military dinner, one of the visitors proposed a toast : " May 
the man who has lost one eye in the service of his country, never see 
distress with the other." But the person whose duty it was to read 
the toast, by omitting the word " distress " completely changed the 
sentiment, and caused much merriment by the blunder. 



WARLIFE. 71 



REMEMBER THE SABBATH. 



G-eneral McClellan having asked one of the soldiers at "Washington 
if he remembered the Sabbath day, the lad replied that he remembered 
one at Bull Eun very well, and thought he should never forget it. The 
G-eneral did not ask him whether he '^ remembered to keep it holy." 



A MARTIAL YOUTH. 



. A six-year-old Boston boy, who had become deeply imbued with 
the martial spirit, undertook to act as commander of a miniature com- 
pany, in a New Hampshire town where he was spending his vacation. 
He somewhat " astonished the natives " by the following order, given 
in a very excited tone : '^ Company I Enemy coming ! Forward march! 



Amen!" 



HARD FARE. 



A letter writer says: '^ To-day the Colonel ordered an inspection of 
some hard bread or army crackers to be made, which resulted in con- 
demning forty-six barrels out of fifty. The crackers we eat are stamped 
1810, and the boys say they have seen several marked 'B. C " 

FRIEND AGAINST FRIEND. 

Commodore Paulding and the rebel Commodore Tatnall were inti- 
mate friends. While the United States government was allowing officers 
to resign, the two had a long interview, in which Paulding exhausted 
every argument to induce Tatnall to serve his country. It was all in 
vain. At the close of the conference Tatnall put the question : 

" What will you do if we meet ?" 

^' I will shoot you,"' was the prompt and energetic answer. 

A LONG RETREAT. 

One of the Fire Zouaves, who had been in the battle of Bull Eun 
and vamosed very soon thereafter, was recognized near Washington 
Market, in this city, a day or two ago. " What the devil are you doing 
here?" asked the acquaintance, when he recognized him. ^' Got leave 
of absence?" "No!" thundered the Zouave. "I got the word to 
^fall back,' at Bull Eun, and nobody has told me to ' halt,' so I have 
kept on retreatin' ever since, and got away here !" Who says that Fire 
Zouave is not under thorough disciphne ? 

A HORSE CASE. 

In the Superior Court a " horse case " lately occupied the attention 
of the bench for a rather extended period, and one point seemed to 



72 WAR LIFE. 

specially puzzle the mind of justice. The horse had been sold under a 
warranty of " soundness," which fact was disputed, but still it was urged 
by the defence that the animal was very valuable as ''a military 
horse." 

^^ What constitutes a good military horse, sir ?" asked the judge, of a 
witness. 

'^ Well, your honor," he replied, ^' if I was going to sell a horse to 
General Butler, for instance, I should think a horse like this 'ere one, 
that is wall-eyed on one side and squint the other, would be just the 
thin^ !" 

Those present who were familiar with the gallant G-eneral's personal 
appearance, " thought they saw it," but the Court couldn't, and fined 
the witness for contempt. 

HOW TO LOSE A WIFE. 

A young gentleman in Indiana, being both engaged to be married 
and enlisted in a rifle company, chose to forego the latter duty, which, 
coming to the ears of the expectant bride an hour before the time fixed 
for the wedding, provoked the following note : — 

*^ Sir : — I am constrained to say, that while as a wife I should have 
mourned your absence on the battle-field, I am no less pained at your 
want of manhood in backing out. I am apprehensive that after enlist- 
ing in my company you might serve me in the same way. The bearer 
will deliver you your notes and sundry presents. For your kindness 
to me I am doubly grateful, and I trust you will always esteem me as 
your friend. I can be nothing more. J." 

THE Left TENANT. 

A gentleman observed to another that an ofi&cer in the army had left 
his house without paying the rent. ''Oh I you mean the left-tenant/' 
rephed Frank Matthews. 

"wild beasts." 

When the much talked of and much abused Fire Zouaves arrived at 
Fortress Monroe, after their reorganization at New York, rather an 
amusing incident occurred. As is usually the case whenever any vessel 
approaches, the sergeant of the dock-guard reported that the steamer 
Octorara was coming up. This steamer generally carried cattle from 
Fortress Monroe to a camp near by, and the quartermaster of the post 
notified his men to go down on the dock and take their ropes with 
them. When the boat neared, the fire?boys looked with amazement 
on these proceedings, and one of them ventured to remark, '• Why, my 



WAELIFE. Y3 

God, you aint agoin' to hang us right away, are ye?" The provost- 
marshal, who, with all present, heartily enjoyed the frolic, said, ^^ Oh, 
no you needn't be afraid, we only thought there were some wild beasts 
on board." '^ Well," was the answer from on board, " there are some." 

PAT AND THE SECESSIONIST. 

The following dialogue actually took place between a Heutenant, late 
of the United States Texan army, and an Irishman, one of the privates, 
now at Carlisle, then Eort Bhss. 

Q-fficer — " Well, Pat, ain't you going to follow the general (Twiggs) ?" 

Pat — "If General Scott orders us to follow him, sir, begor Toby 
(Pat's horse) can gallop as well as the rest of 'em." 

Q^cer— '^ I mean won't you leave the abolition army, and join the 
free south?" 

Pat — ^^ Begor, I never enlisted in the abolition army, and never will*- 
I agreed to serve Uncle Sam for five years, and the divil a pin-mark 
was made in the contract with my consent, ever since. When my 
time is up if the army isn't the same as it is now, I won't join it again." 

Officer — " Pat, the ' Second ' (cavalry) was just eighteen months old 
when you and I joined. The man who raised our gallant regiment is 
now a Southern president ; the man who so lately commanded it is 
now a Southern" general. Can you remain in it when they are gone ?" 

Pat — '^ Well, you see the fact of the matter is, Lieutenants C , I 

ain't much of a scholar ; I can't argue the question vrith you. But what 
would my mother say if I deserted my colors ? Oh the devil of a give 
will I ever give in ; now that's the end of it. I tried to run away once, 
a few weeks after enlisting, but a man wouldn't be missed then. Its 
quite different, now, Heutenant, and I'm not going to disgrace either of 
my countries." 

Officer — " Do you know that you have to fire on green Irish colors 
in Southern ranks ?" 

Pat — " And won't you have to fire on them colors (pointing to the 
flag on Fort Bliss), that yourself and five of us Hcked nineteen rangers 
under ? Sure it isn't a greater shame for an Irishman to fire on Irish 
colors, than for an American to fire on American colors. And the 
oath'll be on my side, you know, heutenant." 

Officer — " D — n the man that rehes on Paddies, I say." 

Pat — ^^ The same comphments to deserters, your honor." 

THE HOME GUARD. 

Mr. Sparrowgrass says that he belongs to the Home Guard of 
Yonkers, and one of the rules of the c^pany is that it shall not leave 
Yonkers, except in case of invasion. 



74 WAELIFE. 



CALLING THE ROLL. 



In one of our miUtary companies the other day, an Irish captain 
called out to his men : ''Attention company ! The orderly serjeaiit 
will now proceed to call the roll of the absint members, and see how 
many of them are prisint!" 



On the return of the Sixty-ninth N. Y. regiment, as it passed through 
Philadelphia, one of the men being asked what he thought of Southern 
courage as shown in the late battle, answered : Av that, sir, we could 
say nothin' in the world ; for in the whole action not above a hundred 
did we see ! They wos a dodgin' in and out of the timber, and there 
wor no come out in them !" 

HOW TO RETREAT. 

The regular army officers at Washington, complain of the neglect to 
instruct our volunteers to retreat in order. '' Order the d — 1," remarked 
one of the mihtia colonels, *' what order does a fellow want when he 
sees that he is going to be cut to pieces, and ain't got no chance to do 
nothin' but run. 

THE DYING SOLDIER. 

The chaplain came at last to a cot set somewhat by itself outside the 
wards. Here, reclining at length, was a young man, whose face bore 
slight traces of suffering. It was flushed with a hue hke that of health ; 
the eyes were undimmed, and only the position of his hands, which 
were thrown over his head, and locked in almost spasmodic tightness, 
told that he was in pain. He was unusually noble in countenance. 
His brow was broad and fair, and the thick locks that clustered back 
from the temples curled like the ringlets of a boy. He knew not why, 
but the chaplain experienced an unusual and sudden sympathy for this 
young man, struck down in his beauty ; still he felt there was no im- 
mediate dangler in his case. 

^' How is he wounded?" he asked of the surgeon, as the two ap- 
proached the bed softly. 

'' In the right side, belQW the ribs," was the reply. 

^' Is he in danger ?" 

" 0, no ; that is, not at present. The case may take a bad turn, to 
be sure; but it looks very well now. Charles," he added, addressing 
the sick man familiarly, ''the chaplain is going the rounds; would you 
like to see him ?" .;^, 

^'0, certainly I" exclaimed the young man, smiling. "I am very 



WAE LIFE. 



15 



glad to see him ;" and he held out his hand. His voice was strong and 
ringing, as with the highest health ; his clasp was vigorous. 

^^I am sorry to find you wounded, my friend," said the chaplain. 

" Oh only the casuality of war; we must some of us expect it^ you 

know." 

" Do you suffer much ?" 

"At times sir very severely; I feel so well, only the distress here;" 
iand he pressed his hand to his side. 

" You will be up soon, I hope." 

"I trust so, sir; the doctors say it is a bad wound, but will yield 
with care. I only wish I had my mother here. She has heard of it_, 
and, doubtless, started before. this. It will seem so comfortable to see 
her ; you don't know how I long for her." 

Ah ! mothers, you are first thought of when the hardy soldier feels 
the pang of pain. It is your name he calls, your form he sees through 
the mist of dehrium, your voice he hears in every gentle word that, is 
spoken. He knows whose touch will be tenderest, through the sym- 
pathy of suffering, he knows who has borne the most for him ; and on 
the tented field the holy name of mother receives a fresh baptism of 
love and beauty. 

"I can imagine how you feel," said the chaplain, ^' and I have no 
doubt you will see her soon. Meanwhile, you know there is a Friend 
who will be to you more than mother or father, sister or brother." 

" I realize that, sir," said the young man; ^" I am a professor of re- 
Hgion, and have been for years. When I was shot, ay, and before, I 
commended my soul to Him for life or death ; but I confess I have 
much to five for. I am not brought yet where I am perfectly wilhng 
to die." 

" It may be for the reason that you are not yet called to die," replied 
the chaplain ; '• but in life, you know, it is the one important thing to 
be prepared for death." 

After a short prayer, the minister and the sick man parted. " He 
seems very strong and sanguine," he said, as he met the surgeon again, 
^' and likely to recover." 

'' jSTo doubt of it, sir, no doubt," was the hasty reply of the surgeon, 
as he passed on. 

The hour of midnight had struck from the great hall. Slowly and 
solemnly it knelled the departing moments, and its echo rolled through 
the halls, vibrating on many an ear that would never hear the sound 
of the striking hours again. The chaplain still sat up in his own room, 
writing letters for three or four of the wounded soldiers, and a strange 
stiUness feU around him, as he closed the last sheet and sat back with 



16 WAE L1F21. 

folded hands to thiDk. He could not tell why, but do what and go 
where he would, the face of the young volunteer, with whom he had 
spoken lastj haunted him. He arose to move to the window, where 
the breeze was cooler, when a knock was heard at the door, and a 
rapid voice called " Chaplain ?" He hurried to lift the latch. The sur- 
geon stood there, looking like a shadow in the dim moonlight that crept 
into the passage. 

'^Chaplain, sorry to disturb you, and more sorry still to give you an 
unpleasant duty to perform." 

" Why, what is it ?" was the quick rejoinder. 

" The fine young fellow whom you talked with is going." 

"What, you do not mean" 

" Won't hve an hour or two at the most. I tried to tell him, but I 
couldn't; and finally I thought of you. You can ease it, you know." 

A great shadow fell on the chaplain ; for a moment he was stunned 
and choked, and his voice grew husky as he made reply. 

'^ It is a sad errand, but none the less my duty. Poor fellow ! I 
can't realize it, indeed I cannot. His voice was so strong ; his manner 
so natural! I'll be there presently." And left alone, he threw him- 
self upon his knees to wrestle for strength in prayer. 

The atmosphere was filled with low sighs from the strugglers with 
pain and disease. Going softly up to the couch at which he had stood 
before, the chaplain gazed upon the face before him. It looked as 
calm as that of a sleeping infant, but he did not sleep. Hearing a 
slight noise, his eyes flew open, and rested in some surprise upon the 
chaplain. 

" I felt as if I must see you again before I retired," said the latter, 
striving to steady his voice. " How do you feel now?" 

" Oh, better, I thank you ; in fact almost well. The pain is gone, 
and I feel quite hopeful. I rather think the surgeon does, though he 
said nothing." 

Again that fearful swelling in the chaplain's throat. How should he 
tell him of his danger — how prepare the mind so calmly resting on 
almost a certainty — the poor hopeful soul that would never look with 
earthly eyes on the mother he so longed for ? Another moment, and 
the young man appeared to be struck with some peculiarity in the face 
or movements of the chaplain. The large eyes sought his with an 
intenseness that was pain, and he strove to interpret that which made 
the difi'erence between this and his former demeanor. 

"Your cares weary you, chaplain," he said, quietly; "you must be 
very faithful, for it is past midnight." 

" I was on the point of going to bed, when I was called to prepare 
a dying man for his last hour," was the tearful response. 



WARLIFE. 77 

'^Indeed! what poor fellow goes next?" rejoined the young man, 
with a look of mournful inquiry. 

There was no answer; for the wealth of the world the chaplain 
could not have spoken now. That tone so unconscious of dano-er* 
that eye so full of sympathy ! Still a strange silence ! What did it 
mean ? The sick man's haquiring glance changed for a moment to one 
of intense terror. He raised both arms — let them fall heavily upon 
the coverlet at his side, and in a voice totally altered by emotion he 
gasped — 

'• G-reat Heaven! you mean me." 

" My dear friend !" said the chaplain, unmanned. 

*' I am to die, then — and — how — long?" His eyes once more sought 
that of his chaplain. 

" You have made your peace with God, let death come as soon as it 
will, he will carry you over the river." 

" Yes ; but this is awfully sudden ! awfully sudden !" — his lips quiv- 
ered ; he looked up grievingly — " and I shall not see my mother !" 

^'Christ is better than a mother," murmured the chaplain. 

"Yes." The word came in a whisper. His eyes were closed; the 
lips still wore that trembhng grief, as if the chastisement were too sore, 
too hard to be borne ; but as the minutes passed, and the soul lifted 
itself up stronger and more steadily upon the wings of prayer, the 
countenance grew calmer, the hp steadier, and when the eyes were 
opened again, there was a light in their depths that could have come 
only from Heaven. 

'' I thank you for your courage," he said, more feebly, taking the hand 
of the chaplain. " The bitterness is over now, and I feel willing to die. 
Tell my mother" — he paused, gave one sob, dry, and full of the last 
anguish of earth — " tell her how I longed to see her, but if God will 
permit me" I will be near her. Tell her to comfort all who loved me, to 
say that I thought of them all. Tell my father I am glad he gave me 
his consent, and that other fathers will mourn for other sons. Tell my 
minister, by word or letter, that I thought of him, and that I thank him 
for all liis counsels. Tell him that I find that Christ will not desert the 
passing soul ; and that I wish him to give my testimony to the living, 
that nothiug is of real worth but the rehgion of Jesus. And now 
will you pray for me ?" 

Oh ! what emotions swelled the heart of that devoted man, as he 
kneeled by the bedside of that dying volunteer, the young soldier of 
Christ ; and with tones so low that only the ear of God and that of 
him who was passing away could hear, besought God's grace and pres- 
ence. Kever in all his experience had his heart been so powerfully 
wrought upon; never had a feelhag of such unutterable tenderness 



78 WAELIFE. 

taken possession of his soul. He seemed already in the presence of a 
glorified spirit ; and after the prayer was over, restraining his sobs, he 
bent down, and pressed upon the beautiful brow, already chilled with 
the breath of the coming angel, twice, thrice, a fervent kiss. They 
might have been as tokens from the father and mother, as well as him- 
self. So, perhaps, thought the dying soldier, for a heavenly smile 
touched his face with new beauty, as he said, " Thank you ! I won't 
trouble you any longer ; you are wearied out — go to your rest." 

''The Lord Grod be with you!" was the fervent response. 

'^ Amen!" trembled from the fast whitening lips. 

Another hour passed. The chaplain still moved uneasily around his 
room. There were hurried sounds overhead, and footsteps on the stairs. 
He opened his door ; encountered the surgeon, who whispered one 
little word — 

''Gone!" 

Christ's soldier had found the Captain of his salvation. — Watchman 
and Reflector, 

COLONEL JAMES A. GARFIELD. 

Col. Garfield, who was the hero of the defeat of Humphrey Marshall, 
is a native of Massachusetts, and has been a Methodist preacher. As 
such, he was settled at Hiram, Portage County, Ohio, and became pres- 
ident of the college at that place. He is a man who stands five feet 
nine inches in his boots, with yellowish white hair like that of Horace 
Greeley, and his friends have claimed for him the distinction of being 
the strongest man, physically, in the United States. The following 
anecdote is related of him ; 

At one of his out-door religious meetings, while he was eloquently 
portraying the patience of Job, a big two-fisted rowdy, who had long 
been the terror of the county, and had broken up a number of meet- 
ings, leaped into the circle of weeping Christians, and, with a wild 
Indian war-whoop, exclaimed: 

" I'm ready for a fight ! If yer white-headed minister is so mighty 
strong as yer talk of, let him jump his length into the old hyena !" 

Without evincing the slightest anger, Mr. Garfield exclaimed : 

" Yes, my friends, Job was a pattern of patience, and yet if he were 
here at the present moment, I doubt not he would do as I am about to;" 
and walking up to the bully, with a movement almost as quick as light- 
ning, he turned him half way round, knocked off his cap, and, grasping 
him by the hair, hoisted him at arm's length from the ground as if he 
had been an infant. The fellow being a, coward — as all rowdies are — 
was almost frightened to death, and screamed out in the most frantic 



WAE LIFE. 79 

manner, '^ Let go my bar ! For Grod's sake, let go ! I'll never trouble 
you again. Let go my bar !" 

After making tbe fellow promise to occupy a front seat during tbe 
rest of tbe meeting, Mr. G-arfield let liim '•' drap." It is needless to say 
tbat out-door meetings in tbat section were never afterwards disturbed 
if Eev. Mr. G-arfield was tbe clergyman present. 

^ THE NEW COXXECTIGUT NUTMEGS. 

^4. good anecdote is told of one of tbe Connecticut boys. Wbile in 
conversation witb a rebel, after tbe capture of Port Pulaski, tbe latter 
said : ^'' At least, witb all our faults, we bave never made wooden nut- 
megs." Tbe Yankee, a very demure-looking specimen, innocently 
replied : "We do not make tbem of wood any longer;" and, pointing 
to one of tbe big projectiles lying near, wbicb bad breacbed tbe fort, 
added, quietly : "' We make tbem now of iron." Secesb subsided. • 

"]^nS3" VS, MRS. 

Out of sixty-eigbt tbousand letters sent off by one Massacbusetts 
regiment in Maryland, since its departure from bome, twenty-six tbou- 
sand were addressed ''Miss," and twenty-one tbousand ''Mrs." So 
says a letter-writer, wbo adds : '' Tbe figures sbow tbat tbe females 
receive mucb tbe largest sbare of attention, and tbis is just as it sbould 
be. It is ratber significant of tbe material of tbe TMrteentb, tbat 
^ Miss' receives so large a sbare of its letter- writing patronage.. All 
rigbt, of course." 

SINGULAR CAUSE OF DEATH. 

It is stated tbat Capt. Slaymaker, of tbe Iowa Second, and formerly 
of York county, Pa., came to bis deatb at tbe battle of Fort Donelson 
in a singular manner. A bullet struck bis pocket-knife in bis left 
pocket, sbivered it to pieces, and drove tbe blade into bis body, so tbat 
it, and not tbe bullet, severed tbe artery, tbe rupture of wbicb caused 
Ms deatb. Pieces of tbe knife were found in liis wallet 

AN INQUISITIVE OLD LADY. 

A member of tbe Twelftb Kentucky Eegiment, bearing tbe bonor- 
able name of "Daniel Boone," wisbing to obtain sometbing for tbe 
inner man, repaired to a bouse near tbe camp, inquired of tbe lady of 
tbe mansion if be could be favored witb a bttle soft bread, be baving 
been sick, and required sometbing better tban crackers. Tbe old lady, 
altbougb of secesb proclivities, told Dan to sit down, tbat tbe girls 
would soon bave some biscuits baked, and be sbould bave some. Wbile 
waiting for tbe biscuits, tbe old lady entered into conversation witb 



80 WARLIFE. 

Dan, inquiring about the war, and the intentions of the army now here, 
and the prospects of the future. Among other remarks, she men- 
tioned that there were a great many Union troops on their way South, 
and inquired if the J^orth had not almost run out of soldiers. '^ What, 
madam I" says Dan, rising to his feet, and speaking with enthusiasm, 
" Ohio and Kentucky have had twins ninety times, and these now here 
are but the first htterl" The old lady inqmred no further; the negro 
girl brought in the biscuits, Dan was supplied, and returned to his quar- 
ters with a thankful heart. 

DRUMMER BOY OF MARBLEHEAD.* 

The whole city was wild with triumph at the victories of Fort Don* 
elson and Eoanoke. Cheer after cheer went up from the Exchange, 
and people were almost momentarily jostling each other in the thi'onged 
streets, and instead of begging pardon, would burst into a shout for the 
old flag. Woman that I am, as I hurried home in the twilight of that 
glorious day, I had to hold my muff close to my mouth to prevent my 
voice from swelling the great thanksgiving. Turning the corner of my 
own street, I was astonished to see that my parlor was brilhantly 
lighted, and, through the thin curtains, I hkewise saw figTires moving 
rapidly. I ran up the steps, and soon discovered the reason, for, as I 
opened the door, all my own children and several of my neighbors' 
rushed, with a great sweep, into the hall, and, for a moment, I was 
nearly stunned with their cheers for the fort, the soldiers^ the Stars and 
Stripes, etc. At last, at the volley for the g-unboats, they stopped from 
sheer exhaustion, and I asked, very meekly, " What in the world are 
you down in the parlors for ?" 

'^Well, mother," gasped Will, "we wanted to play we were gun- 
boats, and the nursery wasn't big enough. See me now ; I am going 
to run up within four hundred yards of the guns of the fort," and, 
with a yell like a wild Indian's, he brandished a cane and made a 
charge at a book-case, coming within an inch of smashing my Dante 
and Beatrice. I winced, but did not scold them, only enticed them 
into the less-crowded dining-room, where we played gunboats, and 
cheered until their father, coming home to tea, rather shocked us by 
saying gravely that he thought he should have to send us all to the 
watch-house. Many incidents of the battles he told the eager children, 
as we took our tea, and just before their bedtime, as they stood around 
liim for the customary story, he told them the one I shall try to tell you. 
''You all know," said their father, "how, last April, the Massachu- 
setts troops were attacked and murdered in the streets of Baltimore, 

* "We have the assurance that this story is literally true."— Editors New York 
Independent. 



^yAR LIFE. 81 

and how the whole heart of New England thrilled to avenge their 
death. There was a young boy of Marblehead, only fifteen years old, 
Albert Mansur by name, who came from school on that day wild with 
indio-nation, and told his mother that he was going to the war; he 
couldn't stay at home. 'Why, Albert,' laughed his happy mother, 
^ they won't have you; you are too httle, my boy.' ' I can drum, can't 
I, mother ? I guess those old rebels will run when they hear me play 
Star-Spangled Banner,' and out he went, and his mother heard him 
playing the smart old tune as he marched down the street at the head 
of a tatterdemahon set of urchins, called by liim his regiment. He had 
a gift for drumming, and, thinking of his words, that mother's heart 
stood still with fear. He was her only child, her handsome boy; how 
could she let him go ? But she scolded herself for thinking of it. Of 
course his father would keep him at home. At dinner-time Albert 
attacked his father on the subject, but liis father peremptorily answered, 
^' ]lTo," and told him there must be no more talk on the matter. Usu- 
ally his father's decision settled things, but this time Albert argued 
manfully. He could do just as good service as anybody ; he ought to 
go ; he must go ; but Mr. Mansur was firm, and he had to yield, al- 
though the struggle was so severe that he grew pale and thin. At last, 
to divert his attention, they sent him to his grandfather's in Augusta, 
and fervently hoped he would forget his fancy. But when he arrived 
there he found a regiment all ready to go into camp a short way from 
the city. He accompanied them as drummer. His father and mother, 
as the weeks went by, became impatient, and at last went for him. As 
they rode through the streets, almost the first person they saw was 
Albert, marching in a fine new uniform, with this same company, who 
were on their way to the station. He had kept his promise to them, 
that is, he had not enhsted, but they felt from that day that they must 
let him go. He went home with them, and after a few weeks they 
gave him up, and he enlisted in the Massachusetts Twenty-third, Col. 
Kurtz, as drummer for one of the companies, being the youngest in the 
regiment. Dear httle ones, I can never tell you how his mother felt — 
how his father, in his bitter grief, prayed — how many hot tears stained 
the few articles he could carry — and then, almost as sorrowfully as to 
his burial, they went to see him start. That day the poor parents 
talked long together, then the father went out, and while he was gone 
the pale mother knelt, with her face hidden, asking for strength and pa- 
tience. When he came in, Albert knew that he should not go alone ; 
his father had enlisted as private in the same company, so as to take 
care of that idolized boy. They sailed in the Burnside Expedition, and 
on all that long, dreary passage, Albert was the fight and joy of his 
regiment, and, indeed, of all the regiments on the vessel. So full of 



82 WAE LIFE. 

hope and enthusiasm was he, that his father wrote his mother, ^' all the 
petting he got did not seem to hm*t him a bit." Officers and men 
delighted to do him favors; and his prompt, saucy drumming won 
praise from the gallant commander himself 

When the hazardous work of landing began, Albert managed to be 
in one of the first boats, and was consequently among the first to 
stand on the enemy's island of Eoanoke — theirs then, ours now, thanks 
be to God. In that march, through slime and water, he did his part 
well, not allowing his father to touch his cherished drum for an instant. 
At last they came in sight of the enemy's battery. ^' Who will go and 
take it ?" asked the general commanding. " The Massachusetts Twenty- 
third," was the quick reply. "Forward, then, double-quick!" and in 
the teeth of that galling fire they rushed to their death as if it had been 
their bridal. Albert slung his drum over his' shoulder, and seizing a 
rifle from a wounded man near, dealt true shots for his country. His 
father fell wounded by his side, but he heeded him not, his whole soul 
had lost itself in the work before him. '' Look at that child," said one 
officer to another; ''no wonder we conquer, when boys fight so." At 
last the position was ours ; the rebel gunners turned and fled, and for 
an instant the roar of the battle ceased. So intent was Albert that he 
never stopped, and was loading again, when the Colonel touched his 
shoulder. " Wait, rest a minute, my young hero — don't you see they 
are running?" "Oh, glory hallelujah!" sang out the excited boy; 
" didn't I say they should run to the old tunes ?" and seizing a disabled 
revolver for a drumstick he struck up, in a wondrously defiant way, 
our impudent old strain of Yankee Doodle. It was a strange sound, 
as it rang out over that field of death, and, faint and weary as our 
brave fellows were, they gave it a rousing welcome. A flying rebel 
heard it, and, looking back, took sure aim at Albert. A man near the 
boy saw him, and tried to pull Albert down, but he stood his ground, 
and the ball did not fail to do its deadly work. 

"Ohj father!" burst from the tearful children; "not killed, was he?" 
They thought him only stunned at first, and bore him out of the 
crowd ; they bathed his brow ; and you will love his knightly colonel 
none the less when I tell you that his strong arms held the dying boy. 
His pale lips moved at last, and they bent eagerly to hear his words. 
Some inquiry for his missing father, some last precious words for his 
lonely mother ?" Tears ran like rain down the blackened faces, and 
one in a voice husky with sobs, " Well, Albert, the field is ours." The 
ears death had already deadened caught no sound, and his shght hand 
fluttered impatiently as again he gasped, "What, tell quick?" "We 
beat 'em intirely, me boy," said a big Irish sergeant, who was crying 
like a baby. He heard, then, and his voice was as strong and bright 



W A R L I F E . 83 

as ever, as he answered, ^' Why don't you go after 'em? Don't mind 
me, I'll catch up — I'm a little cold, but running will warm me." He 
never spoke again, the coldness of death stiffened his limbs, and so he 
passed from the victory of earth to the God who gave us the victory. 
They laid him down tenderly, with his head resting on a smooth ©Teen 
sod, and as his wounded father crawled up to see him, they feared a 
wild scene of lamentation, but he only said, '' He would rather die than 
had us beaten." He was urged to go home with Albert to his mother, 
but he would not, only saying to their solicitations, ^'Albert would ba 
ashamed if I did, and I will fight for him as long as the war lasts," 

The children did not play gunboat any more, but went quietly up to 
bed, and when Nelhe said her prayers, she added, in simple childish 
words, a hope that '^ G-od would make Albert's mother wilHng he should 
be dead, and that Grod would tell her how Xelhe loved her ;" and here 
the tender little heart broke down — but Will said, ^' Grod knew just as 
well as if she said it all," and I think he did. 

STKAKGE FISH. 

Lately, a couple of speculative individuals sent a small schooner up 
James river, near Yorktown, with a cargo of supphes and articles to 
suit the wants of the Union boys there ; and anchored near the land- 
ing so lately occupied by rebel craft, which had skedaddled inconti- 
nently upon the approach of our gunboats. After disposing of their 
cargo and attempting to take in anchor, they found a rope attached to 
it which was connected to and brought up to view a barrel of mysteri- 
ous appearance. After carefully cutting into it, to provide against ex- 
ploding a disguised torpedo or infernal machine, it was found to con- 
tain six dozen bottles of whiskey ; and puUing in more rope, another 
barrel of the same sort was found, and yet another, till ten barrels con- 
taining seven hundred and twenty bottles of Secesh whiskey was fished 
up ; worth to the lucky fishers not less than fifteen hundred dollars. 

A SCE^'E AT THE CAPTURE OF XEW ORLEANS. 

On the arrival of a portion of Q-eneral Butler's troops in front of Xew 
Orleans, they were received by a crowd of spectators, who cast sullen 
glances at the vessels, and conversed only in whispers. xVs the steamer 
bearing the Federal troops neared the levee, a Hne was thrown to the 
crowd and one man was about to make it fast to a pile, when he was 
seized by several persons and compelled to drop it. A small boat was 
■ then sent ashore with the line, which was made fast, and the steamer 
was soon brought up to the landing. A company of soldiers were dis- 
embarked, and putting their arms aport, they slowly marched against 
the crowd soon clearing a space for the regiment to land. One of our 



84 W A E L I F E . 

officers, after landingj was somewhat perplexed how to get the regi- 
mental baggage up to his new quarters. He looked in Tain for a por- 
ter amongst the crowd of silent and sullen spectators around him ; at 
length an idea flashed upon him. At a short distance stood some carts 
loaded with coal ; he approached the drivers and courteously requested 
them to dump their coal and follow him. They obligingly acceded to 
his request, and the baggage arrived at their quarters nearly as soon as 
the reo'iment. 

o 

^"0T WHIPPED. 

Among the '' secesh" prisoners captured at Fort Donelson, and sent 
to Chicago, was a long, lank specimen from Mississippi, clothed in 
huttonwood-QolovQdi j^antaloons, and a well ventilated shirt. A visitor 
approached this gentleman, who was busily engaged in chewing to- 
bacco against time, and inquired how he fared, etc. His answer was 
satisfactory, and he concluded his remarks by adding : " Look a-here, 
stranger, that arr flag," (pointing to the Stars and Stripes floating above 
his head) ''that arr flag is good enough for me, but we warren't 
whupped I" 

A REOniEXT OF COUSINS. 

A young lady, weeping and waving her handkerchief with much 
assiduity on the occasion of the departure of a regiment of soldiers, was 
asked what relatives she had in the regiment, and repHed, — 

"Cousins." 

" How many ?" was solicitously queried. 

"Why, the whole regiment; arn't they Uncle Sam's boys?" lacon- 
ically replied the lass. 



G-eneral McClellan having received intelligence of the skirmish at 
Cold Harbor, in Yirginia, which took place on the 24th of Ma}^, rode 
forward towards the river and met, on their return, the Fourth Michigan 
regiment, who, in our gallant general's own words, " about finished 
the Louisiana Tigers." He grasped General Woodbury warmly by the 
hand, and said, " Greneral, I am happy to congratulate you again on 
your success." Then shaking hands also with the gallant Captain Eose, 
he thanked him for his ser^nces that day; and next turning to the men 
he said, " And how do you feel, boys ?" 

"'We feel bully, general !" exclaimed the men. 

" Can they keep us out of Eichmond ?" asked the general. 

"No I" rang from the whole line, and an enthusiastic cheer proclaimed 
that they felt their general and themselves -invincible. 



STORIES OF THE WAR WITH MEXICO, 

AKD 

SECOND WAR WITH ENGLAND. 



■• ♦ >-»■ 



A NOVEL CANDLESTICK. 



Charley J the pet of the mess, was a great letter-writer. Every 

night he would sit down and occupy the allotted hours of candle-light, 
by writing home his experiences. 

Home was the lode-star of Charley's existence, as it is that of every 
true soldier ; and as Charley expressed it : " Letters from home are 
flashes of refinement, which illumine the dreary life of a camp in the 
wilderness, and which convert the interior of a dirty tent into the 
cheerful walls of a parlor," and so forth. Charley's letters were gener- 
ally directed to a name prefixed by the monosyllable ''Miss;" and those 
he received were generally directed in a delicate female hand. Charley 
had a sister to love, and who loved him ; and it was said he had some- 
body else's sister also, who and so forth, and so forth. But this is not 
to the point. Charley used for a candlestick an old gunpowder can- 
ister, which would not allow the candle to stand straight ; and drops 
of grease would frequently fall from the candle upon the paper as he 
wrote. He consoled himself for a while by saying, " Well, she'll think 
the grease stains tear-drops," but when one day he received a letter 
asking him, why his letters were always covered with candle-grease, 
and wondering how he could be so careless, he resolved to improve his 
candlestick. One day in the course of his rambles he discovered a 
bank of black sand ; so finely glazed and regular in shape and size were 
the grains, that they resembled gunpowder so strikingly, that nothing 
but actual experiment would have detected the difference. ^' The very 
thing for my candlestick," thought Charley, and he gathered a quantity 
m his handkerchief, and brought it to camp. He placed it in the can- 
ister, and inserted the candle and it worked to a charm. TThile writ- 
mg that evening, a comrade came into the tent, and observing Charley 
so busily engaged that he had neglected to snuff his candle, he snuffed 
It himself, and threw the wick into the canister. The still glowing 



86 WAK LIFE. 

wick illumined the interior of the canister and revealed to the hor- 
rified gaze of the friendly comrade, the nature, as he supposed of its 
contents. As quick as thought he dashed the canister from the table, 
and with a yell of terror, he rushed from the tent, leaving poor Charley 
in darkness, and astonishment. The news of the narrow escape spread 
through the camp, and when Charley was cautioned by his comrades 
to be more careful in the selection of liis canister hereafter, he simply 
remarked, ''Have no fears, gentlemen, that powder is very slow to 
burn !" The facts leaked out, and the sand bank was known after- 
wards in camp, as Charley J 's magazine. 

FLEAS. 

Our sergeant's greatest horror was fleas ; and of this horror every 
tent was full ; and many were the expedients devised to secure pro- 
tection from the attacks of these industrious chevahers. The sergeant, 
after many and lengthy cogitations, finally struck upon a plan for his 
own protection, which was quite ingenious. He emptied the ticking 
provided for his use by Uncle Sam, of its contents ; sewed up the slit 
in the centre, and in one end cut a hole large enough to admit his body. 
The hole was provided with a "puckering string," so that after the 
sergeant had safely bagged himself for the night, he could draw the 
'' puckering cord" tight around his neck, thus protecting his body and 
arms from the assaults of his tormentors. His face only was exposed 
to the enemy ; but that was hardened by exposure to all kinds of 
weather, until it was invulnerable. His plan was a decided success. 
The sergeant no longer complained of fleas. One dark night between 
eleven and twelve oclock, the profound silence of the camp was sud- 
denly broken by the simultaneous discharges of our sentinels' muskets. 
They rushed pell-mell into camp, shouting, " the greasers ! the greasers !" 
We could distinctly hear the clattering of horses' feet rapidly approach- 
ing ; the long roll was beaten, and the soldiers rushed to arms, and 
formed in line of battle. We gave our assailants a well directed volley, 
and they scattered and fled. During the whole aflray our sergeant, 
usually so prompt, was not on hand. As we approached his tent to 
investigate the matter, we heard sounds of strife issuing from within. 
We rushed into the tent and there found our sergeant struggling des- 
perately with his ''flea protector." EoUing and tumbling; 

swearing and bumping, he was tossing himself about vainly endeavor- 
ing to release himself from his predicament. During his sleep the knot 
of his " puckering string" had got outside his bag and beyond his reach, 
and he had rem.ained thus a struggling captive during the whole aflair. 
We released him from his unpleasant imprisonment; and ever after that 
night it was dangerous to mention fleas in his presence. 



WAR LIFE. • 87 

BEARS AND " DEARS." 

While a party of soldiers, on extra duty^ were encamped near Little 
Bear Valley in Upper California, during the Mexican war, engaged in 
getting out lumber, a number of them went out on a night hunting ex- 
cursion in Little Bear Yalley. On their way thither they visited a 
Spanish family, who regaled them with a repast of tortillas y lacJie, 
(cakes and milk). One of them, after reaching the valley where they 
intended to commence hunting, remembered the bright eyes of the 
Spanish girls who had waited on him, and concluded that he would 
rather hunt ^^ dear " than bear, and therefore commenced retracing his 
steps. After going a short distance he reached an elevation of land the 
base of which was covered with chapparel, while the summit was bare. 
As he emerged from the chapparel, and reached the bare ground, he 
was met face to face by a bear. He immediately fired at the animal 
and wounded him severely. With a growl of rage the bear rushed 
upon him. The hunter fled for the nearest tree, which he hastily 
climbed. He reloaded his gun, and again fired upon the bear, which 
was raging around the tree, unable to chmb it on account of his 
wound. Again the soldier fired, taking deliberate aim at the bear's 
head. With a doleful howl the bear rushed from the spot and took 
refuge in a thicket. The soldier, thinking he had given the bear a mor- 
tal wound, descended from the tree with the intention of securing the 
skin of his game as a prize, when the bear suddenly emerged from the 
thicket, and rushed upon his enemy with increased fury. Our hero 
turned and fled for safety to his tree. He was in such haste to regain 
his place of refuge, and the bear was so near, that he dropped his gun ; 
but he succeeded in reaching the branches of the tree with no other 
injury than the loss of his boot, which the bear had seized by the heel 
just as the soldier was chmbing the tree. The bear occupied himself 
for a moment by tearing the boot to shreds. This accomplished, the 
animal turned his attention to the gun, and in a few moments broke it 
to pieces. Having vented his rage upon these objects, the bear delib- 
erately mounted guard at the foot of the tree, and kept our hero in his 
irksome position the whole night, when at daybreak he disappeared, 
and the soldier, with many misgivings descended in safety, and found 
his way early in the morning, to the house of his fair entertainers, who 
consoled him with a hot breakfast and a comfortable couch. 

SPLITTING WOOD. 

The quartermaster of a regiment in Upper California, during the 
Mexican war, gave orders that some men should be detailed to procure 
oak wood for making neck-yokes for oxen, and for repairing the wag- 



88 - WAR LIFE. 

ons. The oak in that country is a species of semi-oak, very tough and 
crooked, and after some difficulty the men secured the straight part of 
the trunk of an oak, and brought it into camp. Now came the spht- 
ting process. After wearying themselves with hacking at the wood 
with axes, without accomphshing their design, it was suggested that 
if a hole was bored into the wood and charged with powder, and plug- 
ged, leaving space for a fuse, the trunk of the tree might be '' blasted." 
This was done and the fuse fired, several times, producing no other 
effect than forcibly expelhng the plug. 

"I'll show you how to do it," at length exclaimed a Scotchman 
named McKim, who had been standing by, watching the progress of 
the experiment. He accordingly charged the hole with powder, and 
rammed it down vigorously, and closed the entrance with sand, and 
plugged it, leaving a vent as before. In his excitement he neglected to 
take the precaution of firing the fuse from the end of the log, but fired 
it while standing directly beside it. The fuse burnt rapidly, and before 
our worthy Scotchman had time to get out of the way, the log split in 
halves, one half striking him on his stomach, doubling him up on the 
ground. All looked horror-struck, believing their comrade dead, when 
suddenly the Scotchman roared out : 

" McKim's no more I McKim's no more !" 

McKim recovered ; and for a long time the words ^^ McKim's no 
more I" became a standing joke in the camp. 

RIGHT SICK. 

Mose Case, a negro Albino, was about as well known to General 
Taylor's army as the General himself At Buena Yista Mose left early 
in the action, and found his way to Saltillo, where he remained until 
after the 23d. Mose would never admit that he ran, he only retreated 
in good order. A few days after his return to camp, an officer was 
pressing him to know how fast he did retreat. 

" Well, I'll tell you the truth, Captain," was his reply, ''if I had been 
home, and going after the Doctor, folks would have thought the man 
was right sick." 

BEEF. 

Fresh meat was a luxury our men only knew by name, as no game 
was within twenty miles of our barracks, and orders were strict that 
no cattle should be killed belonging to the inhabitants, and as for sell- 
ing to us, they hated us too heartily to allow us to take a hearty meal 
at any price. 

It was usual to brand government cattle, horses, etc., with Uncle Sam's 
mark, and if a bullock was found thus marked at large it was common 



WAELIFE, 89 

property to the finders, and known to be the remains of our army herd 
which had perhaps strayed at a time when we had beef of our own. 

The boys got up a plan of their own to increase the number of 
estrays, by taking an old government iron out of camp and branding 
any unwary " animile " that happened within reach. 

The Major's stewardess was a Spanish senora, who had a beautifully 
mottled milch heifer, which afforded milk for the major's coffee. But 
some of the boys, one day, of Company F, which had just come in 
c^uarters and was not posted, saw the critter at a distance from camp, 
and brought her down with an ounce ball and three buckshot. It 
was soon missed, and the major suspecting the truth of the matter, got 
angry over his coffee minus the usual condiment, and sent a sergeant 
and men to search the men's quarters, who were even then luxuriating 
on fried steaks, tenderloins, etc. 

Word came that the search was coming, and such a muss the appear- 
ance of an enemy could not have caused. Chuck went the frying steaks 
into the fire and ashes, and seizing the severed quarters and chucking 
them into two empty pork barrels, while pieces of salt pork from an- 
other barrel were hastily piled on top to hide the beef and give it the 
appearance of barrels of pork. 

The sergeant of course found no beef, but reported Co. F as having 
two and a half barrels of pork, an excess that the major ordered sold at 
once, and the proceeds to be used to buy another critter for the bereaved 
senora. The boys raised the money, but not from the sale of pork I 

VERY LIKE A WHALE. 

Our camp was situated within sound of the deep-toned murmur of 
the surf, as the long, swelling waves of the Pacific stretched out their 
huge gliding bodies upon the white shining sands of the shore, huge 
giants of the ocean, rolling curiously uneasily on its smoothly made 
but inclining bed. 

After an unusually severe souwester blow, the greasers notified us 
that a whale had been thrown up or stranded on the beach, which was 
not unusual, as could testify the huge pieces of whale's vertebrae, etc., 
grown white and bleached, not unlike roots and stumps of the syca- 
more, which were strewn along the coast, ISTo sooner was the late 
arrival of spermaceti known, than every man off duty who could get a 
pass was on his way to see the " dead baby of the deep." One of the 
number, an enterprising Michigander, who had "never seen a whale," 
but had often read of their wonderful proportions, and of the articles 
of trade and of curiosity they afforded, waited till the rest had satisfied 
their curiosity and left, when he conceived the idea of prying open the 



90 W A E L I F E . 

immense jaws of the dead whale, and cutting out a tooth with his 
sheath knife, as a trophy. With the aid of the flood-wood about the 
spot, he soon rigged a lever and elevated a jaw, so that he could put in 
a supporter, and thus give him a chance to crawl in. This he did, but, 
while busy at the tooth, the stick or standard that kept the jaw up gave 
way, and down came the ponderous jaw hke a '* dead fall," shutting 
our modern Jonah in an exceedingly ''tight place," and only leaving 
an opening out of which he could see the gradually approaching return 
tide, which would soon reach and submerge the dead carcass of the 
whale, including his worthy self. Such an ignoble death for a soldier 
was too much, and it is needless to say that he called loudly for help 
in all the terms of despair. Luckily some of the men returning that 
way heard the noise, and soon came to his rescue ; but the incident 
was too good to be lost by the men, and he ever after went by the 
name of Jonah ! 

THE VALLEY OF DRY BONES. 

Our company had one eccentric character called by the men Haz. Dey. 
Having grown up on the borders free and untamed as the buffalo he 
hunted, it was difficult to make him understand the necessity of mih- 
tary discipline, and much less that etiquette that requires the private 
to salute the superior ofi&cer. 

Old Dey was on guard one day at a distant part of the camp, at a 
spot where had been formerly a Spanish corraU where cattle had been 
slaughtered in great numbers for their hide and tallow, only leaving 
the carcasses to decay, and the bones to bleach and whiten in the hot 
sun. Such numbers of these bones had accumulated that a sentry box 
had been built by the sentries entirely of the skulls and horns of the 
slaughtered cattle, and even the sentry beat or path had to be cleared 
from these obstructions, and piled on either side. 

One hot day old Dey was walking lazily on his round at easy shoul- 
der arms, with his cap drawn down over his eyes, when the major 
came past on horseback, on his way to the Puebla. But not a motion 
or sign did our sentry give that he knew of the presence of his com- 
mandant, but kept on his slow, sullen pace. At last the major, out of 
all patience, stopped his horse and called out sternly, "Dey!" Dey 
stopped, and without changing his gun or moving a feature, answered, 
" What'n thunder do you want?*' 

'• Don't you ever salute your superior officers, sir, when you are on 
duty?" said the major, in his severest tone. 

"iSTot among these dry bones, by thunder!" returned old Dey, and 
turning on his heel he kept on his lazy stride, while the major, either 
nonplussed or amused at the odd audacity of the eccentric though 



WAR LIFE. 91 

somewhat fretted volunteer, rode on and left him to his meditations, 
and the rehcs of bovine mortahty that surrounded him. 

A CLOSE SHAVE. 

During the Mexican war a portion of the volunteer forces under Col. 
Stevenson were stationed at the Presidio, on the Bay of San Francisco, 
and at the '' Grolden Gate" or entrance of the harbor, was an old Span- 
ish fort, which squads of the soldiers were detailed at times to repair and 
put in a better state, preparatory to mounting heavy U. S. ordinance. 

A lot of old Spanish cannon were then only in the way. One Fourth 
of July our boys thought to celebrate it a Httle by cramming one of the 
largest with old rusty shot, and firing it across the channel, at the oppo- 
site cliffs by means of a slow match to prevent accidents. 

As luck would have it, the major of the post had chartered a schooner 
to take him and his dispatches to Monterey that day, which fact the 
boys had quite forgotten. So the old gun had been crammed to the 
muzzle, and blocked up so as to range across the channel and the match 
hghted, while the boys scampered off to places of safety, and to watch 
the result of the explosion. But what was their consternation to see 
the schooner containing the major and suite, with its pennant flying, 
about to pass the channel on its way down the coast, and exactly in 
range of the old gun. There was no help for it, for none had the har- 
dihood to run and quench the slow match, for ten to one the gun would 
not only go off before it could be reached, but '' go up" too, with its in- 
fernal charge of rusty shot and old brick and stones. Breathless stood 
the boys, while on came the vessel, gaily '' wing and wing;" on burned 
and fizzed the slow-match — then came a sudden flash and a roar that 
shook the old fort to its rocky foundation— the hurthng hail of deadly 
missiles through the air, and the chung of the shot in the water, and the 
spray that flew in a long line just before the bow of the vessel, told b'ut 
too well what a " muss" they had got into. 

ISTo rebel craft ever '"'came to" quicker than did the schooner, and 
it was some moments before those on board could be made to under- 
stand the cause of so demonstrative and summary a salute. 

It is needless to add that the major was awful mad, and swore that 
he would teach the boys to have a little more care how they celebrated 
the Fourth in fiiture. The old gun was Tiors du comhat^ having turned 
a complete summersault, and was hardly fit to pass muster, with its vent 
elongated like Paddy's mouth — into a broad grin. 

THE BLOODY LIAR. 

An Arkansas soldier, wounded at the battle of Buena Yista, asked 
an Irishman to help him off the field, The latter did so by enabling 



92 WAELIFE. 

him to mount, and strapping him to his horse, and riding himself be- 
fore. During the ride the poor Arkansian had his head shot off un- 
known to his companion. Arriving at the doctor's quarters, the Irish- 
man was asked what he wanted. " I brought this man to have his leg 
dressed." " Why," replied the doctor, '' his head is off." '' The bloody 
har !" exclaimed Mike, looking behind him, '^ he tould me he was only 
shot in the leg!" 

RES AC A DE LA PALMA. 

At Resaca de la Palma our troops stood anxiously waiting for the 
signal to be given, and never had I looked upon men upon whose coun- 
tenances was more clearly expressed a fixed determination to win. 
The lips of some were pale with excitement and their eyes wore that 
fixed expression which betokens mischief; others would quietly laugh 
and catch a tighter grip of the rein, or seat themselves with care and 
firmness in the saddle, while quiet words of confidence and encourage- 
ment were passed from each to his neighbor. All at once, May rode 
to the front of his troops — every rein and saber were tightly grasped. 
Eaising himself and pointing to the battery, he shouted; ''Men, fol- 
low !" There was now a clattering of hoofs and a rattling of saber- 
sheaths ; the fire of the enemy's guns was partly drawn by Lieutenant 
Ridgley, and the next moment we were sweeping like the wind upon 
the ravine. I was in a squad of about nine men who were separated 
by a shower of grape from the battery, and we were in advance. May 
leading. He turned his horse opposite the breastwork in front of the 
guns, and with another shout "to follow," leaped over them. Several 
of the horses did follow, but mine being new and not well trained, re- 
fused ; two others bolted, and their riders started down the ravine to 
turn the breastwork, where the rest of the troops had entered. I made 
another attempt to clear the guns with my horse, turning him around, 
feeling all the time secure at thinking the guns discharged. I put his 
breast towards them and gave him the spur, but he again balked ; so, 
turning his head down the ravine, I, too, started to ride round the 
breast- work. 

'' As I came down, a lancer dashed at me with lance in rest. With 
my saber I parried his thrust, only receiving a shght flesh-wound in the 
arm, which felt at the time like the prick of a pin. The lancer turned 
and fled ; but at that moment a ball passed through my horse on the 
left side, and shattered my right leg. The shot killed the horse in- 
stantly, and he fell upon my left leg, fastening me by his weight to the 
earth. There I lay, right in the midst of the action, where carnage 
was running riot, and every moment the shot from our own and the 
Mexican guns tearing up the earth around me. I tried to raise my 



horse so as to extricate my leg ; but I had already grown so weak with 
my wound that I was unable, and from the mere attempt, I fell back 
exhausted. To add to my horror, a horse which was careering about, 
riderless, within a few yards of me, received a wound, and he com- 
menced struggling and rearing with pain. Two or three times he came 
near failing on me, but at length, with a scream of agony and a bound, 
he fell dead — his body touching my fallen steed. What I had been in 
momentary dread of now occurred — my wounded limb, which was 
lying across the horse, received another ball in the ancle. 

^' I now felt disposed to give up ; and exhausted through pain and 
excitement, a film gathered over my eyes, which I thought was the 
precursor of dissolution. From this hopeless state, I was aroused by a 
wounded Mexican, calhng out to me, ' Bueno Americana,' and turning 
my eyes towards the spot I saw that he was holding a certificate and 
calhng to me. The tide of action now rolled away from me, and hope 
again sprung up. The Mexican uniforms began to disappear from the 
chapparel, and squadrons of our troops passed in sight apparently in 
pursuit. While I was thus nursing the prospect of escape, I beheld, 
not far firom me, a villainous-looking ranchero, armed with an Amer- 
ican sergeant's short sword, dispatch a wounded American soldier, 
whose body he robbed ; the next he came to was a Mexican, whom he 
served the same way, and thus I looked on while he murderously 
slew four. I drew an undischarged pistol from my holster, and laying 
myself along my horse's neck, watched him, expecting to be the next 
victim ; but something fi:ightened him from his vulture-like business, 
and he fled in another direction. 

'^ I need not say that had he visited me I should have taken one 
more shot at the enemy, and would have died content, had I succeeded 
in making such an assassin bite the dust. Two hours after, I had the 
pleasure of shaking some of my comrades by the hand, who were 
picking up the wounded. They hfted my Mexican friend too, and I 
am pleased to say, he, as well as myself, lives, to fight over again the 
sanguinary fray of Eesaca de la Palma." 

SHOOTING SANTA ANNA. 

The market in the city of Mexico is in a large square, near the 
G-rand Plaza, surrounded by a wall. A soldier, who hailed fi:'om an 
Eastern State, and who had become somewhat wild with excitement 
and aguardiente^ gained a position under the walls of the market, and 
commenced firing as fast as he could load and aim over the wall. An 
officer observing him approached, and demanded him to point out what 
he was firing at. 

" Wait till I get another shot, sir. I never missed at that range 



94 WAELIFE. 

before, and I am sure this must bring him down," and he let go 
again. 

'• You big fool," said the officer, '^ you are firing at that statue in the 
market place !" "Which was the fact — he had been firing at an eques- 
trian statue of Santa- Anna. 

SHOOTING THE APOSTLES. 

After the city of Mexico had surrendered to General Scott, it is 
well known that the troops were obhged to win their way from house 
to house, and street to street, until they finally expelled the remnant 
of the Mexican army, which disputed every inch of ground from the 
gates of the city to the palace. The Second Eegiment, United States 
Infantry (to which the writer belonged), under command of that ster- 
ling veteran and honest man. Colonel (afterwards Greneral) Eiley, was 
gaining ground step by step, under a hot fire from house tops and 
church steeples, when Pat Mallony, a private in Company F, made a 
dash, and intrenched himself in a door- way (the door-ways are large, 
with heavy, projecting jams), a full square in advance of his company, 
and commenced a spirited fire. When he had fired five shots he was 
joined by a comrade, just as he was preparing for the sixth round, who 
asked him what he was firing at, and desired a '^chance in." " Hist!" 
says Pat, ^' wait till I fetch another of the bla'guards. I have done the 
business for five of them, and there is another waiting to be served 
with the same sauce." Bang ! went his sixth shot, when his comrade, 
together with two others who had now joined them, exploded with 
laughter. " What in the devil's name be yees laughing at, at all, at all?" 
says Pat. ^^ Sure did'nt I fix his flint nice enough ? and be the Powers ! 
there is another spalpeen just stepped into his place, and waiting for a 
dose!" ramming his cartridge home with energy. 

" Stop, Pat !" said his comrade ; '^ don't you see you are firing at the 
Apostles ]" 

^' And is it the Apostles, is it ? ISTow may the howly St. Pether for- 
give me!" says Pat, his eyes opening like two saucers as he made the 
discovery that he had been firing on two life-size statues of St. Peter 
fend St. Paul, which stood on each side of a church door, about a 
knusket-shot down the street. Pat hit St. Peter six times. It was a 
standing joke against him, and he never heard the last of it as long as 
he remained in the regiment. 

A SCENE AT MONTEREY. 

The following scene is described by an officer commanding a regi- 
ment at the battle of Monterey : 

^' I was ordered by Colonel Childs to take a company of my regiment. 



WAELIFE. 95 

and break in the doors of a row of houses in the second plaza. I had 
gone nearly through, without seeing a soul, when for a time, the efforts 
of my men were exerted in vain to get into one that seemed barricaded 
with care. As the liinges of the door were about to give way, a tremu- 
lous voice on the inside beseeched me not to break the door down — it 
should be opened. When unlocked I rushed in, as well as I could, 
over beds, chairs, cushions, etc., and to my surprise found the room 
occupied by about twenty-five women ! As soon as they saw me and 
the soldiers following, they ran around me, and fell on their knees, the 
elder beseeching in tones of deep distress my protection, and to have 
their lives spared; the younger begging timidly not to be injured. 
While they were thus kneehng, and I assuring them that no harm or 
injury should befall them, a pretty little woman sHd into the circle, and 
knelt close to my feet. ^' Senor," said she, in a soft quivering voice, 
^^ for the love you bore your mother, for the love you have for your 
wife, for the tender affection your heart holds for your children, oh ! 
spare this, my poor little babe;" holding up a bright-eyed, dimpled- 
cheeked Httle boy, about a year old. She never asked for herself. It 
spite of me, tears rushed to my eyes, and I could only speak with a 
full breast, as I told her to rise and assured her that she and her child 
were perfectly safe. 

" ^ Be the holy virgin, capting,' remarked a rough Irish soldier, 
wiping away a tear with the back of his hand, ' won't the ould seventh 
purtect them!' 

^' That night I watched over that room which was sacredly kept 
from intrusion. The next day we were blessed by these females, for 
the protection we had given them, for they gave us of what they had 
to eat and drink, and we were nearly famished. Poor creatures, how 
much they were distressed ! The young mother will ever be painted 
in my mind's eye, as the devoted guardian of her babe. Her husband, 
I learned, was an officer, and was then fighting us in the city. She 
could not have known whether he was alive or not, and I have not 
heard of him." 

AN INCIDENT IN THE BATTLE OF SAN JACINTO. 

At the battle of San Jacinto, an old man with two guns was seen as 
the Texans started from their camp to attack the Mexicans. He was 
asked what reason he had for carrying more than one gun. He replied, 
^' D — n the Mexicans, they killed my son and son-in-law, in the Alamo, 
and I intend to kill two of them for it, or be killed myself" He was 
seen again after the fight, and said that he had killed his two men, 
and if he could find Santa Anna himself, he would cut out ^' a razor 
strap from his hack^^ 



96 WAR LIFE. 

MADE 'em SQtJAT. 

A widow woman's only son went to Mexico, fought well and re- 
turned. His mother was pious, and after he had answered numerous 
inquiries as to his health, etc., said she, ^'Now tell me, Henry you 
didn't kill any one, did you ? You didn't p'int your gun at any of 
them, and commit murder right agin the Bible, did you ? It would be 
so wicked!" 

" I don't know, mother," said he, ''as I killed any one, but I made 
eight or ten of them squat rather sudden 1" 

LYING AROUND LOOSE. 

An Illinois regiment of yolunteers were preparing for the Mexican 
war, and a camp of instruction was held near Springfield. The Colonel 
had on one occasion ordered the regiment to parade for inspection on 
a certain day. Judge his surprise on riding through the camp ©n his 
way to the head of his regiment, to find one company " lying around 
loose" under the trees, while monopolizing an extra shady place, lay 
stretched at full length the first sergeant. 

Colonel. '' Why sergeant, what is the meaning of this ? Why have 
you not your men on parade, sir ?" 

Sergeant ( Without rising^ and looking lazily over his shoulder at the 
Colonel.) " We'ye concluded not to parade to-day, Colonel." 

That company did parade, and when they came up it was in double- 
quick time. 

ANECDOTE OF GEN. HARRISON. 

During the war of 1812, as the northwestern army was engaged in 
one of its toilsome marches, a priyate oyercome with fatigue sank 
down and died from exposure and exhaustion. G-eneral William H. 
Harrison was careful to arrest the progress of the forces in order to 
giye this man a christian burial with cof&n and funeral. As some of 
the military carpenters were engaged in preparing the coffin, the gen- 
eral entered the shop and paced the floor in silence, watching the pro- 
gress of the work, eyidently with his feelings aroused by the circum- 
stance. One of the soldiers presuming perhaps on this exhibition of 
humane feeling, asked the general as to his plans for the future opera- 
tions of the army. Pausing in his walk, and eleyating himself to com- 
manding height, Harrison asked, 

" Are you a soldier, sir ?" 

"Yes." 

" Then, sir, he one!''' was the reply, which with the tone and eye of 
the speaker, gaye the daring soldier a lesson in subordination, doubt- 
less neyer forgotten. 



WAR LIFE. 97 



KILL US WHO DAEES." 



Some ladies who had a brother at the battle of Bladensburgh lived 
near enough to the field to hear the artillery, and at every report one 
of them would say, " Poor Richard is gone now!" or " There, I expect 
Dick is certainly killed this time !" This was continued till poor Rich- 
ard was mourned over many times, and night came down with a storm 
of rain and wind which blew down the kitchen chimney, and they were 
unprotected in a lonely house. To add to their distress, they fancied 
they heard the howling of wild beasts in the woods. There was a re- 
port afloat of some having escaped from a menagerie in the neighbor- 
hood. At last, in the midst of their terror, the elder sister exclaimed : 
"Well, we shall live till we die, kill us who dares!" At this wise 
maxim the others laughed, and they took courage to go to bed and 
await the issue of events. I am glad to say they were left unmolested 
and Richard returned home alive and well. — Correspondent Ha^yer^s 
Monthly, 

THE BRAVE STANDARD-BEARER. 

When the battle of Niagara was raging at its height, an American 
color-sergeant's flag was riddled with ball, and as he waved it amid a 
storm of bullets the staff was severed in three pieces, in his hand. 
Turning to Colonel Jessup, he exclaimed, as he took up the fragments ; 
"Look, colonel, how they have cut us!" The next moment a ball 
passed through his body, but still he kept his feet, and still waved his 
mutilated standard until, faint with loss of blood, he sunk on the field. 

SHOT AND SHELL. 

During the war of 1812 a number of American troops were engaged 
in repairing the fortifications of oSTiagara, and while so engaged the en- 
emy commenced a pretty sharp fire, so that it occupied nearly the whole 
time of our forces to keep on the lookout for the shots of the enemy. 
Finding that they did not make much headway, they stationed a son 
of the Emerald Isle to give warning when a shot or shell was coming. 
This duty the sentinel faithfiilly performed, alternately singing out 
" shot," " shell," until, finally, the enemy started a congreve rocket, 
which Pat had never seen- before. He hesitated, and seeing it elevate, 
he shouted, "Shot! and, bejabers, the gun wid it." 

A REMARKABLE INCIDENT. 

In the notes of an army surgeon we find the following : " I remem- 
ber, one day, in making my hospital rounds, a patient, just arrived, pre- 
sented me an amputated forearm, and, in doing so, could scarcely re- 



98 WAE LIFE. 

frain from a broad laugh, the titter was constantly on his face. ^ What 
is the matter ? This does not strike me as a subject of laughter.' '■ It is 
not, doctor, but excuse me, I lost my arm in so funny a way, that I 
still laugh whenever I look at it. Our first sergeant wanted shaving, 
and got me to attend to it, as I am a corporal. We went together in 
front of his tent ; I had lathered him, took him by the nose, and was 
just applying the razor when a cannon ball came, and that was the last 
I saw of his head and my arm. Excuse me, doctor, for laughing so, 
but I never saw such a thing before.' This occurred during the siege 
of Fort Erie." 



STORIES 

OF THE 

AMERICAN REVOLUTIONARY ¥AR. 

ANECDOTES OF GENERAL WASHINGTON. 

During the Eevolutionary War, a squad of men were busily engaged 
in raising a log to the top of a military work they were constructino*. 
Their commander, a httle man, stood near by, superintendino* their 
labors, and shouting till he was red in the face, ^' Heave away, boys 1 
Up she goes ! There ! JSTow ! Once more ! Heave away !" 

A stranger, clothed in the dress of a civilian, happened to pass by. 

''Why do you not give your men a helping hand ?" he inquired. 

"Sir," repUed the httle man, pompously, " sir, I am a corporal." 

" I beg your pardon," said the stranger, taking off his hat, and bow- 
ing to the corporal; " but allow me to give them a little help." 

With these words he joined the men, and labored with them till the 
log reached its desired position, and the drops of sweat stood on his 
forehead. 

''And now, Mr, Corporal," said he, turning to that officer, "when- 
ever you are again in need of assistance, send to headquarters, and 
your commander-in-chief will hold himself in readiness to serve you." 

The little corporal was transfixed with amazement. The stranger 
was G-eneral G-eorge Wasliington. 

— At one time when General Washington was standing with his aids 
in a place where he was exposed to the fire of the enemy, Col. Cobb 
said to liim, '• Sir, you are too much exposed here. Had you not better 
step a httle back?" " Colonel Cobb," rephed Washington, " if you are 
afraid you have liberty to move back." 

On another occasion, while Mr. Evans, one of the chaplains of the 
army, was standing near G-eneral Washington, a shot struck the ground, 
so near as to cover his hat with sand. He took off his hat, and said, 
"See here, General!" "Mr. Evans," replied Washington, "you had 
better carry that home, and show it to your wife and clnldren." 



100 WAR LIFE. 

COURTESIES OF WAR. 

At the commencement of the American Revolution, the opposing 
armies were stationed so near each other that some of their sentinels 
were within half gun shot of each other. The hostile armies were di- 
vided by the water passage between Morrisania and Montressor's 
Island, which in some places is very narrow, and the sentinels on both 
sides were ordered not to fire at each other. They were so civil to 
each other on the posts, that one day, at a part of the creek where it 
was practicable, the British sentinel asked the American if he could 
give him a chew of tobacco ; the latter, having a thick, twisted roll, 
sent it across the creek to the British sentinel, who, after taking off 
his hack, sent the remainder back. 

PETER FRANCISCO. 

Peter Francisco, of Yirginia, early enlisted in the Continental ser- 
vice, and was a man of wonderful personal prowess. He was over 
six feet in height, and his weight was two hundred and sixty pounds. 
He usually carried a sword, having a blade five feet in length and of 
great weight, and this he wielded with so much skill and force, that 
every swordsman who came in contact with him paid the forfeit of his 
life. Such was his physical strength that he could easily shoulder a 
cannon weighing 1100 pounds. This wonderful strength induced in 
him so much confidence, that he was utterly fearless, and never was 
daunted at any danger, no matter how formidable. One day, Fran- 
cisco had been reconnoitering, and while stopping at the house of Mr. 
Wand, nine of Tarleton's cavalry came up, with three negroes, and told 
him he was their prisoner. He made no resistance, and behoving him 
to be very peaceable, they all went into the house, leaving him and the 
paymaster together. 

*' Grive up instantly your valuables," said the latter, " or prepare 
to die." 

^' I have nothing to give up," said Francisco, " so use your pleasure." 

"Give me at once," demanded the soldier, " those silver buckles you 
wear in your shoes." 

" They were a present from a valued friend," repUed Francisco, " and. 
it would grieve me to part with them. Give them into your hands I 
never will You have the power ; take them if you think fit." The 
soldier put the saber under his arm, and bent down to take them. 
Francisco, finding so favorable an opportunity to recover his liberty, 
stepped one pace to the rear, drew the sword from under the arm of 
his enemy, and instantly gave him a blow across the skull. 

" My enemy," observed Francisco, " was brave, and though severely 
wounded, drew a pistol, and in the same moment that he pulled the 



WAR LIFE. 101 

trigger, I cut his hand nearly off. The bullet grazed my side. Ben 
Wand (the man of the house) very ungenerously brought out a musket, 
and gave it to one of" the British soldiers, and told him to make use of 
tliat. He mounted the only horse he could get, and presented it at my 
breast. It missed fire. I rushed on the muzzle of the gun. A des- 
perate struggle ensued. I disarmed and wounded him. Tarleton's 
troop of four hundred men were in sight. All was hurry and confu- 
sion, which I hicreased by repeatedly hallooing, as loud as I could, 
^Come on, my brave boys; now's your time; we'll soon dispatch 
these few, and attack the main body !' The wounded man flew to the 
troop ; the others were panic-struck, and fled. I seized Wand, and 
would have dispatched him ; but the poor wretch begged for his life, 
he was not only an object of my contempt, but pity. The eight horses 
that were left behind, I gave him to conceal for me. Discovering Tarle- 
ton had dispatched ten more in pursuit of me, I made off. I eluded 
their vigilance. They stopped to refresh themselves. I, like an old 
fox, doubled, and fell on their rear." And so he escaped. 

SERGEANT JASPER. 

The name of Sergeant Jasper, the revolutionary hero of Fort Moultrie, 
is familiar to all readers of American history. Jasper possessed re- 
markable talents for a scout. He could wear old disguises with ad- 
mirable ease and dexterity. He was a perfect Proteus in ability to 
alter his appearance; perpetually entering the camp of the enemy 
without detection, and invariably returning to his own with soldiers he 
had seduced, or prisoners he had captured. Such was the confidence 
in his skill and fidelity that a roving commission was granted him, with 
hberty to pick his associates from the brigade. Of these he seldom 
chose more than six. He would often go off and return with a pris- 
oner before his absence was known. He was hnown to catch a party 
that was loohing after him. On one occasion he went into the British 
lines as a deserter, and was gladly received. After a stay of eight 
days, in which time he learned of the strength, situation, and intentions 
of the enemy, he returned to his companions. 

While in the exercise of his roving privileges, he, on one occasion 
visited the post of the enemy at Ebenezer. At this post he had a 
brother, who held the same- rank in the British service that Jasper held 
in the American. This instance was quite too common in the history 
of the period and country, to occasion much surprise, or cause any 
suspicion of the integrity of either party. William Jasper loved his 
brother and wished to see him ; it is very certain at the same time, 
that he did not deny himself the privilege of seeing all around him. 
The Tory was alarmed at Wilham's appearance in the British camp. 



102 WAR LIFE. 

but the other quieted his fears, by representing himself no longer an 
American soldier; but that though he found little encouragement in 
fighting for his country, ''he had not the heart J:o fight against her." 
After learning all he could in the enemy's camp he took his departure 
and reported all he had seen to his commander. A few weeks after 
he repeated liis visit, accompanied by one Sergeant iSTewton, a fellow 
cjuite as brave in spirit and strong in body as himself. Here he was 
again well received by his brother, who entertained the guests for sev- 
eral days. Meanwhile a small party of Americans were brought into 
Ebenezer as captives, over whom hung the danger of ''short shrift and 
sudden cord." They were on their way to Savannah for trial. They 
had taken arms with the British as hundreds more had done, when the 
country was deemed reconc[uered ; but on the approach of the Ameri- 
can army had rejoined their countrymen, and were now once more at 
the mercy of the power with which they had broken faith. "It will 
go hard with them," said the Tory Jasper to his Whig brother; but 
the secret comment of the other was " it shall go hard with me first. 
There was a woman, the wife of one of the prisoners, who, with her 
child, kept them company. William Jasper and his friend conferred 
together as soon as they were alone as to the possibility of rescuing 
them. They soon adopted a plan. The prisoners had scarcely left the 
post for Savannah, under a guard of eight men, a sergeant and cor- 
poral, when they took leave of their host, and set forth also though in 
a different direction from the guard. Changing their course when 
secure from observation, they stretched across the country and followed 
in the footsteps of the unhappy captives. But it was only in the pur- 
suit that they became truly conscious of the difBculty, nay seeming 
impossibility of effecting their object. The gTiard was armed and ten 
in number, they were but two and weaponless. Two miles from 
Savannah there is a famous spring, the waters of which are well-known 
to travelers. The conjecture that the guard might stop there, with the 
prisoners for refreshment, suggested itself to our companions ; here op- 
portunities might occur for the rescue, which had nowhere before pre- 
sented themselves. Taking an obscure path with which they were 
familiar, which led them to the spot before the enemy could arrive, 
they placed themselves in ambush in the immediate neighborhood of 
the spring. They had not long to wait. Their conjecture proved cor- 
rect. The guard was halted on the road opposite the spring. The 
corporal with four men conducted the prisoners to the water, while 
the sergeant with the remainder of his force, having made them ground 
their arms near the road brought up the rear. The captives threw 
themselves upon the ground — the woman and her child near its father. 
Little did any of them dream that deliverance was at hand. Two of 



WAR LIFE. 103 

the armed men kept guard, but we may suppose with Httle caution. 
Two others approached the spring in order to bring water to the pris- 
oners. Eesting their, muskets against a tree thej proceeded to fill their 
canteens. At this moment Jasper gave the signal to his comrade. In 
an instant the two muskets were in their hands. In another, they had 
shot down the two soldiers upon duty, then clubbing their weapons, 
'diey rushed out upon the astonished enemy, and felhng their first 
•opponents each at a blow, they succeeded in obtaining possession of 
the loaded muskets. This decided the conflict which was over in a few 
minutes. The surviving guard yielded themselves to mercy before the 
presented weapons. Such an achievement could only be successful 
from its audacity, and the operation of circumstances. The very prox- 
imity of Savannah increased the chances of success. But for this the 
guard would have taken better precautions. IsTone were taken. The 
prompt valor, the bold decision, the cool calculation of the instant were 
the elements which secured success. The prisoners were quickly re- 
leased, the arms of the captured British put in their hands, and hurry- 
ing from the spot they crossed the Savannah in safety with their friends 
and foes. 

THE WESTCHESTER SPY. 

During the American Eevolution, while Enoch Crosby^ the West- 
chester Spy, was on duty in the vicinity of Teller's Point, a British 
sloop-of-war came up the river and anchored in the stream opposite 
the Point. With an unconquerable predilection for stratagem, our hero 
immediately concocted a plot for the sole purpose, as he says of afford- 
ing '' a Itttle sport for the soldiers." He accordingly proceeded down 
the Point, accompanied by six men, all of whom save one concealed 
themselves in the woods which grew a short distance from the shore, 
while the other paraded the beach so as to display his uniform in so 
conspicuous a manner, as to attract the notice of the officers on board 
the vessel. The enemy swallowed the bait; and a boat was soon put 
off from the sloop-of-war, manned with eleven men under the command 
of a heutenant, to make a prisoner of this one Yankee, who precipitately 
fled into the woods, as the barge approached the shore. The English- 
men followed, threatening to shoot the fugitive unless he stopped and 
surrendered. As soon as the pursuers had passed his httle party, which 
were scattered in various directions, Crosby exclaimed, " Come on, my 
boys! Now we have them!" 

At this signal every man sprang up in his place, with a shout that 
made the welkin ring ; maldng, at the same time, such a rustling in 
the bushes, that the British, thinking themselves surrounded by a su- 
perior force, surrendered without resistance. 



104 WAE LIFE. 



THE SCOUT AND THE INDIAN. 



A soldier in Western Kew York one day was out on a scouting party. 
Being a man of courage, enterprise, and sagacity, he was determined, 
if possible, to obtain an accurate knowledge of tlie position of the ene- 
my. ■ For this purpose he ventured to separate from his companions. 
In the course of his reconnoitering alone, in the open field, he approached 
a wood, the underbrush of which was very thick. His watcliful eye 
discovered what he supposed to be some animal among the bushes. 
He immediately saw his mistake. It was an Indian crawling on his 
hands and feet, with his rifle in his hand, and watching the soldier, evi- 
dently with the intention of advancing sufi&ciently near to make him a 
sure mark. For the soldier to retreat was now impossible ; he thought 
he could not escape, and he remembered too that his father had told 
him never to return wounded in the back. He pretended not to see 
the Indian, and walked slowly toward him with his cocked gun by his 
side, carefully observing the movements of his enemy. They approached 
nearer and nearer ; at length he saw the Indian bringing his gun to his 
shoulder ,- at that instant the soldier fell to the ground— the ball whistled 
its harmless music over his head — the soldier lay motionless. The In- 
dian uttered the fearful yell which signifies the death of an enemy, and 
drawing his scalping knife (but forgetting to reload his piece), advanced 
with hasty strides. The soldier, motionless, permitted him to approach 
within ten paces ; he then, with the utmost composure, sprung upon 
his feet. The savage stood aghast ! The soldier, with deliberate aim, 
put a ball directly through liis heart. 

THE HEROIC RIFLEIklAN. 

In the battle of Long Island, part of the British army marched down 
a road leading from Brooklyn to Gowanus, pursuing the Americans. 
Several of the American riflemen, in order to be more secure, and at 
the same time more effectually to succeed in their designs, had posted 
themselves in high trees near the road. One of them, whose name is 
not now known, shot Major Grant of the British army; in this he 
passed undiscovered. Again he loaded his deadly rifle and fired ; an- 
other English ofl&cer fell. He was then discovered, and a platoon ordered 
to advance and fire into the tree, which order was immediately carried 
into execution, and the rifleman fell dead to the ground. 

A STORY ABOUT BEES. 

During the American Eevolution there was a block-house, constructed 
of logs, on the Mohawk river, near the present village of Fort Plain, to 
which the inhabitants of the vicinity resorted for safety from the attacks 



^YAE LIFE. 105 

of the Tories and Indians. On one occasion, -when all the men, except- 
ing one, were out on some expedition, the block-house was suddenly 
attacked by a party of Indians and Tories. The only man in the block- 
house was, after a short time, shot through a port-hole, and the defense 
was left entirely to the women. The assailants now proceeded to dig 
a passage under the logs. The women were put to their wit's ends. 
At last one of them remembered that a hive of bees were in the block- 
house. The hive was carefully brought to the hole in the side of the 
house, and at the moment the assailants were on the point of entering, 
the bees were suddenly thrown among them. The little insects, infu- 
riated by their rough treatment, fell upon the Tories and Indians, and 
stung them so badly that they were compelled to raise the siege. 

FIGHTING ENOUGH. 

Early on the morning of the day on which was fought the battle of 
Bennington, G-eneral Stark was approached by the chaplain of the 
Berkshire mihtia : '^General," said the belhgerent parson, ''the people 
of Berkshire have often been summoned out to fight, but have never 
had a chance yet, and if you do not allow them to fight now, they say 
they will never turn out again." 

"Well," repHed Stark, "do you wish to march out now while it is 
dark and rainy?" 

"Ko, not just at this moment;" answered the parson. 

"Then," returned Stark, "if the Lord shall once more give us sun- 
shine, and I do not give you fighting enough, I'll never ask you to come 



out again." 



The sun rose bright and glorious. Stark kept his word, and the parson 
and people of Berkshire were satisfied." 

AN INTEEPID ACTION. 

An intrepid action of Sergeant Mitchell, during the American fl evo- 
lution deserves honorable mention. There were no ensigns attached 
to the American troops at a time when it was evident that an imme- 
diate contact must ensue with the British under Tarleton. As Sergeant 
Mitchell had always been distinguished for correctness of conduct, he 
was selected to bear the colors. In the progress of the battle, Tarleton 
led an attack on the centre of the fine, where Mitchell was posted with 
his standard. The intrepid sergeant was cut down, and the staff of his 
colors broken. G-rasping the part to which the colors were attached, 
he retained it firmly in his hands, while dragged to a distance of fifteen 
paces. The British dragoons gathered around him, and would have 
immediately slain him, but Captain Kinloch dismounted and protected 
him from their rage, declaring that so gallant a soldier, though an one- 



106 WAR LIFE. 

my, should not perish. Mitchell survived his -wounds, though severe, 
removed, at the close of the war, to G-eorgia, and became, from his 
acknowledged merits, a brigadier-general 

A HERO. 

Captain Baxter, a heroic American, was wounded seriously during 
an engagement of the Eevolutionary War. His colonel stood near 
him. 

. ^'I am Y/ounded, colonel," said the soldier. 
^' Thmk no more of it, Baxter, but stand to your post." 
^'But I can't stand, colonel, I am wounded a second time." 
"Then he down," said the colonel, "but quit not your post." 
" Colonel," cried the wounded man, " they have shot me again, and 
if I remain here any longer I shall be shot to pieces." 
"Be it so, Baxter, but stir not." 

The heroic soldier obeyed the order ; he held the important post, re- 
ceiving a fourth wound before the engagement ended. 

THE STUTTERING CAPTAIN. 

A ludicrous story is told of Colonel Horry, of revolutionary memory, 
who was ordered to await, in ambuscade, the approach of a British de- 
tachment, a service he performed with such skill that he had them com- 
pletely in his power, when, from a dreadful impediment in his speech 
with which he was afilicted, he could not articulate the word "Fire!" 
In vain he made the attempt. It was " fi — fi — fi — fi — " but he could 
get no further. At length, irritated almost to madness, he exclaimed: 

"Shoot — you — shoot — you know what I would say; shoot, shoot, 
and be to you I" _ 

X BATTLE INCIDENT. 

In one of the battles of the American Eevolution, a soldier in the line 
exclaimed, " my musket is shot to pieces." His comrade, who lay ex- 
piring with his wounds at a short distance, replied, in a voice scarcely 
audible, " My musket is in excellent order — take and use her." 

HOW TO MAKE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. 

In the year 1778, when the American patriot army under G-eneral 
Sullivan, and the British army under General Pigot, were confronting 
each other, the advanced guard of the .American army had arrived 
within three hundred yards of the enemy, and commenced throwing 
up intrenchments. Five or six hundred- horses belonging to the British 
were in full view, and excited the enterprize of a young soldier, named 



WAR LIFE. 107 

Mason. He resolved to possess himself of one of these horses, and in 
the presence of both armies, in open day, he put this bold design into 
execution. A few scattering elders grew in a low piece of ground be- 
tween the sentinels of both armies, and screemng himself amongst 
these, he contrived to reach the pasture where the horses were feeding, 
unobserved by any on either side. He selected the best horse he could 
find, and leaping upon his back, urged the animal forward towards the 
American lines. He approached the British sentinels at fall speed, 
dashed by them like whirlwind, unharmed by the shots they sent after 
him, and reached the American lines in safety. The horse was fully 
caparisoned, and the young hero sold him to an ofdcer for five hundred 
dollars. 

THE BRAVE COWARD. 

A soldier, observing a comrade turn pale, as they were advancing to 
a charge, taunted him with cowardice. '* I shall fight," replied the 
other, with compressed but trembling lips, ''but if you were half as 
afraid as I am, you would run away." 

GENERAL LEE AND THE IRISH3JA.N. 

When Gen. Lee, of Revolutionary fame, was a prisoner at Albany, 
he dined with an Irishiqan. Before entering upon the wine the general 
remarked to his host, that after drinking he was apt to abuse Irishmen, 
for which he hoped the host would excuse him in advance. "' By my 
soul, general, I will do that," said the host, ''if you will excuse a trifling 
fault which I have myself. It is this — whenever I hear a man abusing 
ould Ireland, I have a sad fault of cracking his sconce with my shella- 
leh." The general was civil during the whole evening. 

HOW TO GET A PAIR OF SHOES. 

One day in the middle of winter, during the American Eevolution, 
General Greene, when passing a sentinel, who was bare-footed, said : 
"I fear, my good fellow, you suffer much from the severe cold." 
''Yerymuch," was the reply; '"but I do not complain. I know I 
should fare better had our general the means of getting suppHes. They 
say, however, that in a few days we shall have a fight, and then I 
shall take care to secure a pair of shoes." 

MISTAKEN POINT OF HONOR. 

During the Revolutionary War, two British soldiers of the army of 
Lord Cornwalhs, went into a house, and abused the inmates in a most 
shocking manner. A third soldier, in going into the house, met them 
commg out, and recognized them. The people acquitted him of all 



108 WAR LIFE. 

blame, but he was imprisoned, because he refused to disclose the names 
of the offenders. Every art was tried, but in vain ; at length he was 
condemned by a court-martial to die. When on the gallows, Lord 
Cornwallis, surprised at his pertinacity, rode near him. 

" Campbell," said he, ''what a fool are you to die thus. Disclose the 
names of the guilty men, and you shall be immediately released; 
otherwise you have not fifteen minutes to live." 

" You are in an enemy's country, my lord," replied Campbell, " you 
can better spare one man than two." 

Pirmly adhering to a mistaken point of honor, he died. 

THE SENTINEL AND THE PIG. 

During the American Revolution, in 1779, a division of the British 
army was encamped on the banks of a river, and in a position so fa- 
vored by nature that it was difiS.cult for any mihtary art to surprise it. 
A regiment of foot was stationed at a considerable distance beyond the 
confines of the encampment. Its particular ofl&ce was to guard every 
avenue of approach to the main body ; the sentinels, whose posts pen- 
etrated into the woods, were supplied by the ranks, and the service of 
this regiment was thus more hazardous than that of any other. Its 
loss was likewise greater. The sentinels were perpetually surprised on 
their posts by the Indians, and what was most astonishing, they were 
borne off their stations without communicating any alarm, or being 
heard of after. Not a trace was left of the manner in which they had 
been conveyed away, except that, upon one or two occasions, a few 
drops of blood had appeared upon the leaves which covered the 
ground. Many imputed this unaccountable disappearance to treachery, 
and suggested as an unanswerable argument that the men thus sur- 
prised might, at least, have fired their muskets, and communicated the 
alarm to the contiguous posts. Others, however, who could not be 
brought to consider it as treachery, were content to receive it as a 
mystery, which time would explain. 

One morning, the sentinels having been stationed as usual over 
night, the guard went at sunrise to relieve a post which extended a 
considerable distance into the wood. The sentinel was gone ; the sur- 
prise was great ; but the circumstance had occurred before. They left 
another man, and departed, wishing him better luck. " You need not 
be afraid," said the man, with warmth, " I shall not desert." The 
relief com^pany returned to the guard house. The sentinels were re- 
placed every four hours, and at the appointed time the guard again 
marched to reUeve the post. To their inexpressible astonishment the 
man was gone ! They searched around the post ; but no traces could 
be found of his disappearance. It was necessary that the station, from 



WAR LIFE. 109 

a stronger motive than ever^ sliould not remain unoccupied ; they were 
compelled to leave another man, and returned, ruminating on this 
strange occurrence, to the guard house. The superstition of the sol- 
diers was awakened, and the terror ran through the regiment. The 
colonel, being apprized of the occurrence, signified his intention to ac- 
company the guard when they reheved the sentinel they had left. 
They again marched to the spot, and to their unutterable astonishment 
found the post vacant. The man was gone I The poor fellow, whose 
turn it was to take the station, though a man in other respects of un- 
conquerable resolution, trembled from head to foot. 

" I must do my duty," said he to the ofi&cer, '^ I know that, but I 
should hke to lose my life with more credit." 

" I will leave no man," said the colonel, ^' against his will." 

A man immediately stepped from the ranks, and desired to take the 
post. " I will not be taken ahve," said he, " and you shall hear of me 
on the least alarm. At all events, I will fire my piece if I hear the 
least noise. If a crow chatters, or a leaf falls, you shall hear my mus- 
ket. You may be alarmed wdien nothing is the matter ; you must take 
the chance of that, as the condition of my making the discovery." The 
colonel applauded his courage, and told him he would be right to fire 
upon the least noise which was ambiguous. His comrades shook hands 
with him, and left him with melancholy forebodings. The company 
marched back, and waited the event with the most anxious curiosity. 

An hour had elapsed, and every ear was upon tlie rack for the dis- 
charge of the musket, when, upon a sudden, the report was heard. The 
guard immediately marched, accompanied as before by the colonel and 
some of the most experienced officers of the regiment. As they ap- 
proached the post, they saw the man advancing towards them, dragging 
another man on the ground by the hair of his head. When they came 
up to him, it appeared to be an Indian whom he had shot. An ex- 
planation was immediately required. 

" I told your honor," said the man, "that I should fire if I heard the 
least noise. The resolution I had taken has saved my life, and led to 
the discovery. I had not been long on my post, when I heard a rusthng 
at some short distance. I looked, and saw an American hog, such as 
are common in the woods, crawhng along the ground, and seemingly 
looking for nuts, under the trees and among the leaves. As these an- 
imals are so very common, I ceased to consider it for some minutes ; 
but being on the constant alarm and expectation of attack, and scarcely 
knowing what to consider a real cause of apprehension, or not, I kept 
my eyes vigilantly fixed upon it, and marked its progress among the 
trees ; still there was no need to give the alarm, and my thoughts were 
notwithstanding directed to danger from another quarter. It struck 



110 WAE LIFE. 

me, however, as somewhat singular, to see the animal making by a cir- 
cuitous passage, for a thick coppice, immediately behind my post. I 
therefore kept my eyes more constantly fixed upon it, and, as it was 
now within a few yards of the coppice, I hesitated whether I should 
fire, — my comrades, I tliought, would laugh at me for alarming them by 
shooting a pig I I had almost resolved to let it alone, when just as it 
approached the thicket, I thought I observed it give an unusual spring. 
I no longer hesitated ; I took my aim, discharged my piece, and the 
animal was instantly stretched before me, with a groan which I con- 
ceived to be that of a human creature. I went up to it ; and judge of my 
astonishment when I found I had killed an Indian ! He had enveloped 
himself with the skin of one of these wild hogs, so artfully and com- 
pletely ; his hands and feet were so entirely concealed in it, and his gait 
and appearance so exactly corresponded to that of the animal's, that, 
imperfectly as they were always seen through the trees and jungles, the 
disguise could not be penetrated at a distance, and scarcely discovered 
upon the nearest aspect. He was armed with a dagger and a toma- 
hawk." 

The cause of the disappearance of the other sentinels was now ap- 
parent. The Indians, in their disguise, secreted themselves in the cop- 
pice; watched the opportunity when they could throw it off; burst 
upon the sentinels without previous alarm, and too quick to give them 
an opportunity to discharge their pieces, either stabbed or scalped them, 
and bore their bodies away, which they concealed at some distance in 
the leaves. 



MISCELLANEOUS. 



^ *• ^ 9* ^ 



ANYTHING IN REASON. 

When the United States army started for Utah, there was a scarcity 
of transportation, or, in other words, there were too few baggage-wag- 
ons. Now every soldier knows how Uke the apple of one's eye are 
these same baggage-wagons, drawn, as they are, by six mules, on the 
long marches across the plains. 

A Colonel of dragoons who had command of one of the columns, 
restricted the of&cers very much in their allowance of baggage, and was 
most bitter if any one tried to exceed the just amount. One morning 
the colonel met one of his captains (a dragoon of course), when he 
burst out as follows : 

'^ Captain, do you know what these artillery officers want to take 
across the plains ?" 

'^ No, colonel, I do not," said the captain, with an inquiring look. 

^'"Well," said he, " if you'll beheve me, there's one of them wants to 
take across a box of books." 

^^ Books!" exclaimed the captain, "what next, I wonder! Now, 
colonel, I have but Httle to take across myself — nothing, in fact, but a 
barrel of whiskey." 

"Of course, captain, of course. Anything in reason, anything in 
reason ; but the idea of carrying a parcel of books across that stretch 
is a Httle more than I can stand." 

COLONEL SKINNER, OF TEXAS. 

" Colonel Skinner, of Texas," who was going it on " a high figure,'* 
before the right kind of audience, thus settled a long disputed fact in 
history, and " elevated " himself 

" Feller citizens !" said he, with a very knowing look, " I was at the 
battle where Tecumsey was killed — /was. I commanded a regiment 
there — / did ! I'm not gwine to say who did kill Tecumsey — I wont I 
But this much I will say: Tecumsey was killed by one of my pistols, 



112 WAR LIFE. 

and, gentlemen, I leave it to your knowledge of human nature to say 
if a man would be very ajpt to lend out his pistol on an occasion of tl^at 

sort." 

THE CHAPLAIN AND SOLDIER. 

^' Eeflect, my brethren/' exhorted a chaplain, " that whosoever falls 
this day in battle, sups to-night in Paradise." 

The fight began, the ranks wavered, the chaplain took to his heels, 
when a soldier stopping reproachfuEy, referred him to the promise in 
Paradise. 

^' True, my son, true," said the chaplain, '' but I never eat supper." 

A MILITARY TOAST. 

Many years ago there was originated in Lowell, Massachusetts, a 
military company which was and now is, one of the best and most 
popular military companies in the State. 

Captain James D was its first commander. He could neither 

write nor speak so well as he could fight^ as was not said of '' Old 
Hickory," of patriotic memory. But he had his perils to encounter. 
On a great occasion, a military company from Salem was to visit the 
"Spindle City," and a grand mihtary and civic reception was voted. 

Captain D , for the reason above hinted at, as he was to be the 

prominent man of the occasion, on the Lowell side, went to a subaltern 
and pleaded for a ^^ toast short and to the point" — that he might com- 
mit to memory for the memorable occasion. After understanding his 
wishes, it was duly prepared as follows : " The Salem Light Infantry ! 
Let the enemies of our country look on such troops, and tremble!" 

"Capital!" said the captain, "that will do finely." 

At length the time arrived and thousands were in attendance. The 

festive board was crowned and crowded. Captain D was in his 

glory. When called on to give the compliment of welcome, he rose 
majestically and a hush was on the multitude. He broke the silence 
by roaring in a stentorian voice, "Pellow soldiers, and fellow citizens! 
I give you our distinguished guests, the Salem Light Infantry. Let 
OUR COUNTRY look ou sicli troops and tremble !" 

There was no need of cannon to respond to that sentiment. The 
roar of the multitude in which our " distinguished guests" most heartily 
joined well nigh " cracked the welkin." 

AN IRISH SERVANT. 

A St. Louis correspondent of Harper's Monthly relates the following 
of the servant of a friend of his while in the army. 

" In 1823, Michael, came to Lieutenant C , at Fort Dearborn, to 



WAR LIFE. 113 

hire. He said Taith, he had lost his char-ac-ter :^ he ^ lost it three 
months before at Montreal entirely.' However, the Heutenant took 
him, and as he was soon after ordered to the military post at Council 
Bluffs, he took Michael and a fine setter dog ' Close' with him, in a bark 
canoe, as far as St. Louis, then a mere village, where he expected to 
take the steamer Mandan for the Bluffs, — the first steamer that ever 
ascended the Missouri river. 

'' When they had drawn up the canoe on the beach, the lieutenant 
ordered Michael to shoulder his trunk and follow him with ' Close' to 
the hotel. After walking a short distance, he heard a violent alterca- 
tion round the corner he had just passed. On going back to see what 
it could be, there was Michael with a poor cadaverous-looking French- 
man up against the fence, pommeling him with his fists (having set the 
trunk down in the street), saying, ' I'll knock your two eyes into one, 
so I will, you kicked the leftenant's dog J' With some difl&culty the 
poor frightened Frenchman was released, and Michael made to under- 
stand that kind of work would not answer. 

"Poor [Michael was an honest creature, a second IMickey Free, but 
he in time acquired the habit of drinking too much, for which he was 
discharged. On account of this fault he never remained long in one 
situation, and when out of one he regularly came back to Lieutenant 

C for a home, which was always kindly given him for weeks at a 

time. 

" The heutenant got married, and it was not so pleasant for his wife 
to see a drunken man in the kitchen, sleeping on a chair. So one day, 
after hearing the cook complain of his being forever in the kitchen, she 
requested her husband to talk to him, and. tell him it was high time to 
find a place as she could not have him there any longer. In the after- 
noon he met Lieutenant C , and slapping him on the back, said, 

'- Well, leftenant, I'll have fur to lave you' (sniffling). 'I'm verry sorry, 
but I'll have fur to lave you — I could live with the leftenant all my life ; 
but indade I couldn't five with your wife— she's too hard to plaze 
intirelyl' 

" A few years after Lieutenant C , with others was ordered 

South to the Choctaw iSTation. Michael went along as servant to one 
of the officers, still claiming his old home when out of a place, which 
now became very frequent. Quarters in the encampment being very 
limited, a tent was pitched in a corner of the yard for Michael's ac- 
commodation. One time he had been missing for a week ; nothing had 

been seen or heard from him. Mrs. C really hoped he had found 

a better home on some of the plantations around the camp ; but one 
evening, at twihght, as they were sitting at their cabin-door, with some 
friends, a dark object was seen coming up the hill in front of the house, 



114 WAE LIFE. 

which at first was supposed to be a drunken Indian. As it came 
nearer, it proved to be Michael very much intoxicated, sitting on an 
old Indian pony, without either saddle or bridle. As he rode up the 

dog barked violently at him. Lieutenant C , seeing his situation, 

went to him and took the horse by the mane, to lead him round to the 
tent. Michael said, ' Oh ! leftenant, I come back hke the prodigal son, 
I could bear anything, but the dog didn't know me !' ^Michael was 
helped off his horse, and put in the tent to sleep away the effects of 
his dissipation." 

DRUMMED OUT OF CAMP. 

While at Fort Brown I saw a soldier from the ranks drummed out 
of the service for theft. It was a very novel and amusing sight. He 
had his head shaved, and his mihtary coat, hat, and accoutrements taken 
from him — his blue pants, with the red stripe of the artillery, he alone 
retained, to show his former calling. At evening parade he was called 
in front of the ranks and publicly dismissed, the officer of the day read- 
ing his crime and the penalty aloud in full. He was then obhged to 
walk three times around the parade ground, with the corporal and ser- 
geant of the guard following him closely, with bayonets pointed down- 
ward, the fifer and two drummers playing " right merrily " the tune of 
''Poor old soldier, I hope the devil won't catch you," a gay, mocking 
air, reserved especially for occasions of this kind. He put on a regular 
Jack Shepherd or Dick Turpih swagger, and in passing the command- 
ing officer's quarters, shouted out to a group there assembled for a sub- 
scription for a wig. A prick from the two bayonets soon put him in 
mind of the flagrant breach of respect, but it did not seem to cure him, 
as, on his last round, he called to the orderly of the day, who stood 
with military bearing and a wooden face: ''Grood-bye, Tom I God 
bless you, my son!" The orderly's face became still more wooden and 
unresponsive to this remark, as in duty bound, and a severe prick from 
the guard produced another strong reminder of duty. At the gate of the 
garrison he was ejected, and went off probably to buy himself a wig, 
while the guard marched rapidly back to the guard-house, followed by 
the fifer and drummers playing the tune of " The Dashing White Ser- 
geant," a sound inspiriting enough to give the soldier fresh strength on 
the weariest march, or call the most lagging recruit to his post. — Mrs. 
Yiele's '^ Following the Drum^ 

MOORE's MELODIES. 

An Irish soldier was once sent to the guard-house for being drunk 
and disorderly. While there he was particularly noisy, and the heu- 
tenant, 0' Grady, whose Irish was unquestionable, ordered him to stop 



WAR LIFE. 115 

his noise. Mike, who imagined all the time that he was singing as 
beautiful as a lark, exclaimed, in extreme disgust, ^' Och ! that I should 
ever hve to hear an O'G-rady call Moore's Melodies a noise." 

"wooh! wooh! shtop!" 

In the days of militia training, there was an old Grerman who com- 
manded the " Corn Cob Eaugers." On " training " day he was exer- 
cising his men near a creek, and had marched them in line nearly to 
the bank of the stream. In his excitement he forgot the proper com- 
mand, and called out : ^' Wooh I wooh ! shtoj) /" 

THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON AND THE TAYLOR. 

The Duke of Wellington was remarkable for the coolness with which 
he gave his directions. Even in the heat of an engagement he has been 
known to give a humorous observation, especially when it seemed to 
raise the spirits of his men. Thus, when the British were storming 
Eadajoz, his G-race rode up, while the balls were faUing around, and 
observing an artilleryman particularly active, inquired the man's name. 

'' Taylor," he was answered. 

* A very good name, too," remarked Wellington ; " Cheer up, my 
men; our Taylor will soon make Sipair of breaches in the walls!" At 
this sally the men forgot the danger of their situation: a burst of 
laughter broke from them, and the next charge carried the fortress. 

OBEYING ORDERS. 

The West India regiments in the Colonial service of the British G-ov- 
ernment are composed principally of Africans recruited at Sierra Leone 
and St. Helena, in a great measure from among slaves captured by Brit- 
ish cruisers on the coast. They are, generally speaking, very fine 
troops, and, considering the low order of intellect which may be expected 
to characterize men just redeemed from a savage state, manoeuver with 
a steadiness and precision which are very remarkable. They are, how- 
ever, mere animal machines, moving in the specific direction assigned 
to them, without the smallest exercise of individual will or discretion. 
Commands are executed strictly au pied de la lettre. Tell an African 
sentry to admit no one v^thin a given precinct, and he would deny in- 
gress to the Queen, or the Angel G-abriel, or — still more important in 
his sight — to the commanding officer himself An instance of this lit- 
eral adherence to orders occurred some time since at Jamaica, which 
may fill a niche in this collection. 

When the West India regiment was stationed at Up Park 

Camp, near Kingston, in the island of Jamaica, one of the ranges of 
ofi&cer's quarters, occupied principally by subalterns of the regiment. 



116 WAR LIFE. 

became nocturnally the scene of orgies not very creditable to the moral 
reputation of the corps, and especially annoying to a married officer 
who occupied quarters at the end of the same range. Eemonstrances 
produced only a temporary and modified relaxation of the objectionable 
revelSj which soon resumed their sway, and eventually a complaint was 

made to Lieut. Colonel , who commanded the regiment. Colonel 

was himself a married man, and at once determined on taking ef- 
fectual measures to put a stop to the improprieties complained of. This 
he did in a very radical way, by ordering the sentries at the west and 
south entries to the camp to admit no women after tattoo at eight 
o'clock at night. Shortly after this order had been given, the wife of 

Colonel , and Mrs. , the lady who had been so offended by the 

proceedings above alluded to, went to visit a family residing within a 
few hundred yards of the west gate. The sun was setting, and no 
longer rendered walking disagreeable, the distance was very short, and 
the ladies walked, instead of riding as is usual in the West Indies, even 
when the distance to be traversed only extends from street to street. 
From some cause or other the visit was prolonged to a later hour than 
was originally contemplated, and it was about ten o'clock when the 
ladies arrived at the west gate and proceeded unceremoniously to pass 
the sentry, a sturdy African, as stolid as a door-post, and as firm as the 
pillar beside which he was stationed. 

''Who go da?" shouted the sentry, at the same time bringing down 
his bayoneted .rifle across the gateway. 

"Ladies — friends!" exclaimed Mrs. Col. , smiling. 

^^ FeJlend^ o' no fellendl — wa' me knows? — 'oman-a no come inl'* 
replied the African. 

'' But surely you'll let us in — won't you ?" 

" Gro 'way ! Cunnell no want-a woman, ya' !" 

"But don't you know who we are ? We must come in!" said Mrs. 
Captain -, in a somewhat more serious tone. 

"You no woman? — woman no fo' come in," was the dogged reply. 

" This is nonsense I" said Mrs. Colonel . " I must come in — " 

at the same time endeavoring to put aside the sentry's musket, which 
barred the entrance. 

This movement, however, was too great a trial for the latter's for- 
bearance. Considering it no less than an attempt to force a way into 
the cantonment in breach of garrison regulations, he withdrew his rifle 
just far enough to enable him to make a heavy lunge with his bayonet, 
in doing which Mrs. Colonel became securely pinned by her crin- 
oline to the gate-post. The situation, and the actual danger to her 
person which she had so narrowly escaped, produced a loud scream 
from Mrs. , which called up the Corporal of the Guard, a powerful 



WAR LIFE. 117 

African named Mingo Cuffee. He at once called out the guard; and 
proceeded to ascertain the cause of alarm. 

^' What all dis noise ?" inquired Mingo^ with becoming authority. 

^' Woman make force fo' come in ?" was the official reply. 

"Ha! make 'em go 'way," rejoined the corporal. 

^'Corporal Mingo," said Mrs. — — , in a tone of indignation, "let us 
in, this minute, or you shall be reported. This is the colonel's lady, 
and I am — " 

" Wha' me know who you ? Colonel lady — lieutenant lady — all 
same woman^'' answered the corporal. 

Fortunately, about this time a subaltern officer of the regiment, who 
had been dining in town rode up to the gate, and perceiving the state 
of affairs, interposed his authority in behalf of the unfortunate ladies. 
Even his efforts, however, were of no avail, further than to secure the 

release of Mrs. Colonel from her unpleasant connection with the 

gate-post. The Adjutant, luckily, had not gone to bed, and, on hearing 
the circumstances, hastened to the gate and solved the difficulty. 

" You stupid fellow !" he said to the corporal, "you were not ordered 
to prevent virtuous women, belonging to the garrison, from coming in." 

" Virtue woman-o — no virtue woman-o — ^how can tell 'em 'na dark ?" 
replied the corporal, shrugging his shoulders — with which profound bit 
of moral philosophy the ladies were obliged to content themselves for 
an hour's detention. 

CONSOLATION. 

The 3d West India regiment, which had been stationed for several 
years in the Island of Jamaica, was some time ago relieved by the 2d 
W^est India, from Demarara, the latter regiment marching into quarters 
at the Park Camp, as the former marched out for embarkation. The 
outgoing regiment, as usual in such cases, was attended on the march 
by a large crowd of sorrowing damsels and children, who filled the air 
with dismal howhngs. One child, a girl about six years old, particu- 
larly attracted the notice of a sergeant of the regiment by the shrillness 
of her sorrow. 

" Wha' you cry for ?" he inquired, in a tone half of pity, half of 
contempt. 

"Me cry because Ti^j daddy da go, hi!'* whimpered the little girl. 

"Fool-a you!" rejoined the sergeant. " Wha you cry for ? One-a 
daddy gone — 'noder daddy-a no come ?" 

STORMING OF THE REDOUBT. 

A friend of mine, a soldier who died of the fever in Greece, some 
years since, related to me one day his experience in his first battle. 



118 ^VAR LITE. 

His story interested me so much that I took the first opportunity of 
writing it cloAvn from memory : 

" I joined my regiment on the evening of September fourth. I found 
the colonel in the camp, and he received me bluntly enough ; but after 
having read General B.'s letter of recommendation, his manner changed, 
he addressed me kindly, and presented me to my captain, who had just 
returned from a reconnoissance. This captain, whose acquaintance I 
hardly had time to make, was a largo, dark-complexioned man, with 
hard and repulsive features. He had been a private soldier, and had 
earned his cross and epaulets upon the battle-field. His voice, which 
was weak and husky, contrasted strangely with his giant-like figure. I 
was told that this weakness of voice was owing to a shot he had received 
at Jena. Hearing that I was fi^om the school at Pontainebleau, he said, 
with an expressive grimace, ' My lieutenant died yesterday.' I under- 
stood what he meant. ' You will have to take his place, and you are 
not fit. A sharp answer came to my hps, but I held my tongue. 

'' The moon came up behind the fortifications of Cheverino (which 
were at two cannon shots' distance from our camp), looking large and 
red as usual at its risins: • but this evening' it seemed to me of extra- 
ordinary size. Por an instant the redoubt showed black against its 
brilhant disc, resembhng the cone of a volcano at the moment of erup- 
tion. An old soldier, who stood near by, remarked the color of the 
moon. ^ It is very red,' said he ; ' that is a sign that we shall have 
hard work to take that famous redoubt.' I have always been some- 
what superstitious, and this prediction, at such time, sensibly afiected 
me. I lay down but could not sleep. I arose, and walked back and 
forth for some time, watching the long line of fights which blazed on 
the heights above the village of Cheverino. TThen I thought the fiesh, 
bracing night air had sufficiently cooled my blood, I returned to the 
fire, wrapped myself in my cloak and shut my eyes, hoping not to 
open them again till morning. But sleep would not come to me. In- 
sensibly, my tlxoughts took a gloomy turn; I remembered that I had 
not a single friend among the hundred thousand men that covered that 
plain. If I were wounded, I should be jDlaced in hospital and treated 
carelessly by unskillful surgeons. All that I had ever read or heard of 
surgical operations came back to my mind ; my heart beat painfully, 
and I involuntarily arranged in the fashion of a breast-plate the hand- 
kerchief and portfolio which I carried in my bosom. I was very tired, 
but if I dozed those gloomy images were continually recurring, and I 
awoke with a start of terror. At length fatigue overcame me, and 
when the reveille beat I was sleeping soundly. We were drawn up 
in line, the roll was called, and then our arms were stacked, and every- 
thing promised a quiet day, 



WAR LIFE 119 

" About three o'clock an aid-de-camp bearing orders rode up. The 
troops were summoned to arms ; and the artillery drawn out on the 
plain, while we followed slowly, and in twenty minutes saw the advance 
guard of the Eussians retire within their fortifications. A body of 
artillery was stationed on our right, and another on our left, both at a 
considerable distance in advance of us, who opened a sharp fire upon 
the enemy, which was energetically returned, and soon the fortifica- 
tions of Cheverino were lost to sight beneath thick clouds of smoke. 
Our regiment was almost completely sheltered from the fire of the 
Eussians by a rise of ground. Their bullets, when they were aimed 
at us, which was seldom, for they fired chiefly upon the artillery com- 
panies, passed over our heads, or at most threw upon us earth and 
stones. As soon as the order to advance was given, my captain turned 
upon me an inquiring look, which forced me to stroke my nascent 
moustache with as nonchalant an air as I could assume. And in fact, 
I was not frightened ; the only anxiety I felt was lest I should be sus- 
pected of fear. The harmless bullets contributed not a Httle to pro- 
duce my heroic calmness. Yanity whispered that I was in great dan- 
ger, being at last under the fire of a battery, and I was delighted to 
find myself so comfortable, promising myself the pleasure of relating 
the capture of Cheverino in the drawing rooms of Madame de Saint 
Luxan, m the Eue de Provence. 

" Our colonel rode along the line, and accosted me : ' "Well,' said he, 
^ you will have a joUy time for j out debut T I smiled complacently, 
and with a soldier-hke air, as I brushed the sleeve of my coat^ which a 
bullet, striking some thirty paces off, had covered with dust. It seemed 
as if the Eussians perceived the small effect of their fire, for they now 
began to send shells instead of bullets as being more hkely to tell upon 
us in our sheltered situation. Presently one burst with a terrific ex- 
plosion, killing a man close by me, and knocking oif my hat. ' I con- 
gratulate you,' said the captain, as I picked up my hat; ' you are safe 
for to-day.' I was not ignorant of the military superstition which holds 
that non his in idem is as good an axiom for the battle-field as for a 
court of justice, and I put on my hat with a defiant air, saying, as 
gaily as I could, ' This is rather an unceremonious way of making a 
man salute,' which forlorn joke seemed excellent considering the cir- 
cumstances. 'I congratulate you,' again exclaimed the captain; 'you 
will not get a scratch, and you will command a company this evening, 
for I shall get my discharge to-day. Every time I have been wounded, 
the oflScer next in command has been struck by a spent ball ; and,' 
added he in a lower tone, as if ashamed of his superstitious feelings, 
' their names always began with P.' I felt encouraged ; most men 
would have been, as I was, struck with these prophetic words. Novice 



120 WAR LIFE. 

as I was, I felt ttiat I could unbosom myself to no one, and that it was 
incumbent upon me to appear always coolly intrepid. 

'' In half an hour the fire of the enemy sensibly decreased, and we 
left our shelter to attack the redoubt. Our regiment consisted of three 
battalions. The second had orders to charge upon the redoubt from 
the valley side, the other two were to make the first attack. I was in 
the third battahon. As we emerged from behind the natural rampart that 
had protected us, we were greeted with several discharges of musketry, 
which, however, did but little mischief in our ranks. The whistling of 
the balls surprised me, I could not help turning my head, and thus got 
laughed at by my companions, who had become more familiar with the 
sound. On the whole, said I to myself, a battle is not so very terrible, 
after all. We advanced quickly, preceded by the artillery. Suddenly 
the Russians gave three shouts, and then were silent and ceased firing. 
^ I don't like that silence,' said my captain; 4t bodes no good.' I 
thought our troops were somewhat too noisy, and could not help com- 
paring their tumultuous shouts with the imposing stillness of the 
enemy. 

^' We soon reached the foot of the redoubt ; the palisades had been 
broken, and the earth plowed up by our fire. The soldiers rushed in 
over these ruins with cries of ^ Vive TUmpereur/ louder than could have 
been expected from men who had already shouted so much. I raised 
my eyes, and shall never forget the spectacle which met them. The 
smoke had risen, and hung like a canopy, twenty feet above the redoubt. 
Through the blue vapor, I saw behind the battered parapet, the Rus- 
sian grenadiers with pieces raised, motionless as statues. I can still see 
those men, each with his left eye fastened upon us, the other concealed 
by his musket. In an embrasure a few feet distant, stood a man close 
by a cannon and holding a firebrand. I shuddered, for I thought my 
last hour had come. ' The ball is going to begin !' cried my captain ; 
^ good night !' They were the last words I heard him utter. The 
drums beat in the redoubt ; I saw the muskets lowered ; I shut my 
eyes, and heard a horrible crash, followed by cries and groans. I 
opened my eyes astonished to find myself alive ; the redoubt was again 
enveloped in smoke, and I was surrounded by the dead and wounded. 
My captain lay at my feet ; he had been struck in the head by a shot, 
and I v/as covered with his brains and blood. Of all my company 
there remained but six men besides myself. 

" A moment of stupor succeeded this slaughter. The colonel, waving 
his chapeau on the point of his sword, was the first to scale the parapet, 
shouting [ Vive VEmpereur !' and was followed by all the surviving 
soldiers. I have scarcely a clear recollection of what ensued. We 
entered the redoubt, I know not how, and fought hand to hand in a 



W A E LIFE. 121 

smoke so thick that we could not see each other. I must have struck 
some one, for I found my sabre all bloody. At last I heard the shout 
of victory, and the smoke clearing, I saw the heaps of dead bodies and 
the pools of blood which covered the ground. The cannons, too, were 
almost hidden by the corpses of those who had fallen. About two 
hundred men in French uniform were standing in disorder, some load- 
ing their muskets, others wiping their bayonets, and with them eleven 
Eussians, prisoners. 

^' The colonel had thrown himself, pale and bleeding, on a broken 
caisson^ near the entrance. The soldiers pressed around him : I ap- 
proached also. ' Where is the senior captain ?' he asked of a sergeant. 
The sergeant shrugged his shoulder significantly. ^ And the senior lieu- 
tenant ?' ' This gentleman, who arrived yesterday,' answered the ser- 
geant with perfect coolness. The colonel smiled bitterly. ' Come, sir,' 
said he to me, ' you are commander-in-chief; see that the entrance to 
the redoubt is promptly fortified with these wagons, for the enemy is 
in force ; however, G-eneral 0. will relieve us shortly.' ^ Colonel,' said 
I, ^ you are grievously hurt.' ' Cut to pieces, dear fellow, but the 
redoubt is ours I" 

A TOUCHING INCIDENT. 

The following incident related by an eye-witness, took place in Ire- 
land in the autumn of 1823 : 

I was standing one morning at the window of ^'' mine inn " when my 
attention was attracted by a scene that took place beneath. The Bel- 
fast coach was standing at the door, and on the roof in front sat a soli- 
tary outside passenger, a fine young fellow, in the uniform of the Con- 
naught Eangers. 

Below, by the front wheel, stood an old woman, seemingly his 
mother, a young man and a younger woman, sister or sweetheart; 
and they were all earnestly entreating the young soldier to descend 
from his seat on the coach. 

''Come down wid ye, Thady;" the speaker was the old woman. 
^' Come down, now, to your poor old mother. Shure, it's flog ye they 
will, and strip the flesh off the bones I give ye. Come down, Thady 
darlin' !" 

" It's honor, mother," was the short reply of the soldier ; and with 
clenched hands and set teeth, he took a stiffer posture on the coach. 

" Thady, come down — come down now, ye fool of the world — come 
along down wid ye." 

The tone of the present appeal was more promptly and sternly pro- 
nounced. 

'' It's honor, brother !" and the body of the speaker rose more rigidly 
erect than ever on the roof. 



122 WAK LIFE. 

^' Oh, Thacly, come down ! Shure, it's me, your Kathleen, that bids 
ye. Come down, or ye'll break the heart of me, Thady, jewel ; come 
down, then." 

The poor girl rung her hands as she said it, and cast a look upward, 
that had visible effect on the muscles of the soldier's countenance. 
There was more tenderness in his tone, but it conveyed the same reso- 
lution as before. 

'' It's honor — h^or bright, Kathleen!" and, as if to defend himself 
from another glance, he fixed his looks steadfastly in front, while the 
renewed entreaties burst from all three in chorus, with the same 
answer. 

'^ Come down, Thady, honey!" 

" Thady, ye fool, come down 1" 

" Oh, Thady, come down to me !" 

" It's honor, mother ! It's honor, brother ! Honor bright, my own 
Kathleen!" 

Although the poor fellow was a private, this appeal was so public, 
that I did not hesitate to go dbwn and inquire into the particulars of 
the distress. 

It appeared that he had been home on a furlough to visit his family, 
and having exceeded, as he thought, the term of his leave, he was go- 
ing to rejoin his regiment, and to undergo the penalty of his neglect. I 
asked him when the furlough expired. 

" The first of March, yer honor — bad luck to it, of all the black days 
in the world — and here it is come sudden on me like a shot." 

" The first of March ? Why, my good fellow, you have a day to 
spare, then — the first of March will not be here till to-morrow. It is 
leap-year, and February has twenty-nine days." 

The soldier was thunderstruck. 

" Twenty-nine days, is it ? You're sartin of that same ! Oh, mother, 
mother ! — ill luck fly away wid yer old almanack — a base cratur of a 
book, to be decaven one after hving so long in the family of us." 

His first impulse was to cut a caper on the roof of the coach, and 
throw up his cap with a loud hurrah. His second was to throw him- 
self into the arms of his Kathleen, and the third was to wring my hand 
off in an acknowledgment. 

"It's a happy man I am, your honor, for my word's saved, and all 
by your honor's means. Long life to your honor for the same ! May 
ye live a long hundred, and leap years every one of them!" 

BEST MAN AND HORSE. 

General Shelley, on passing a review of an English cavalry corps, had 
this dialogue with one of the sergeants : " Which is the best horse in 



WAR LIFE, 123 

the squadron?" said the general. '^ The horse No. 40." " What qual- 
ities has he which make him the best?" " He runs and leaps weE, has 
no defects in his limbs nor health, is fat, carries his head high, has good 
blood, and is in the prime of his age." ''And who is the best soldier 
in the squadron ?" '' The best soldier is Tom Jones." '' And why is 
he the best ?" '' Because he is an honorable man, is obedient, clean, 
takes care of his equipments, his arms, and his horse, and is exact in 
the performance of his duties." " And to whom does the best horse 
belong?" "It is mine, general." ''And who is the best soldier?" 
'^ Your humble servant, general." The general laughed, and gave the 
man a present of money, which he received with imperturbable gravity. 

A soldier's life saved by his being shot. 

A young officer, who was attached to Wolfe's army in the battle of 
Abraham, was apparently dying of an abscess in the lungs ; and, though 
being absent from his regiment on a "sick leave," nevertheless resolved 
to join it when the battle was expected : '^ For," said he, " since I am 
given over, I had better be doing my duty ; and my life being shortened 
a few days matters not." He did rejoin it, and received a shot which 
pierced the abscess, and made an opening for it to discharge, and after- 
wards recovered from the disease and the wound, and lived to the age 
of eighty years, the wound having saved his life, without doubt. 

WHAT WOMEN PRIZE MOST. 

When the Fortress of Weinsburg, Germany, was about to be stormed, 
the women obtained permission to come out, carrying with them what- 
ever they deemed most valuable. What was the surprise of the be- 
siegers when they issued from the gate, each carrying her husband on 
her back. We should be quite as much surprised, now-a-days, to see 
the women carrying out their husbands in that way, as they generally 
consider them anything else than '^valuable," and are glad of any excuse 
to get clear of them. 

THE FAETHFUL SENTINEL. 

The French Army lay encamped only about a day's march from 
Berlin. The sentinels were doubled, and very strict orders given, for 
the Prussian and Austrian' spies were plenty and troublesome. At 
midnight Pierre Sancoin was stationed at one of the outposts. He was 
a stout, bold, shrewd man, and a good soldier. The colonel of his 
regiment was with the sergeant on this beat, having requested to be 
called at midnight, that he might visit the outposts. 

" Pierre," he said, after the men had been posted, " you must keep 



124 WAR LIFE. 

your eyes open. Don't let even a stray horse go out or come in with- 
out the pass. Do you understand ?" 

''Aye, mon colonel, I shall be prompt." 

'' The dogs are all around us, and you cannot be too careful. Don't 
trust men nor brutes." 

''Kever fear," was Pierre's answer as he brought his firelock to his 
shoulders and moved back a pace. 

After this the guard moved on to the next post, and Pierre Sancoin 
was left alone. Pierre's post was one of the most important in the 
camp, or around it, and he had been placed there for that reason. The 
ground over which he had to walk was a long knoll, bounded at one 
end by a huge rock, and at the other sloping away into a narrow 
ravine, in which was a copse of willows. Beyond this copse the ground 
was low and boggy, so that a man could not pass it. The rock was to 
the westward, and Pierre's walk was to its outer side. 

" The night was quite dark, huge masses of clouds floated overhead, 
and shutting out the stars ; and a sort of fog seemed to be rising also 
from the marsh. The wind moaned through the copse in the ravine, 
and the air was damp and chilly. With a slow, steady tread, the soldier 
paced his ground, ever and anon stopping to listen, as the willows in 
the ravine rattled their leaves, or some night bird started out with its 
quick flapping. 

An hour had passed away and the sentinel had seen nothing to 
excite his suspicion. He had stopped for a moment close by the side 
of the rock, when he was startled by a quick, wild scream from the 
wood, and in a few moments more a large bird flew over his head. 

^^ ParUeur he muttered, after the night bird had flown over; 
" could mortal man have stopped that fellow passing ?" 

He satisfied himself that he had done nothing: wrons: in lettino: the 
bird pass. He had walked the length of his way two or three times, 
and was just turning by the rock, when he was sure he saw a dark 
object crossing the line toward the copse. 

" Hold !" he cried, bringing the musket quick to his shoulder. '• Hold, 
or I fire!" 

And with his piece at aim, he advanced toward the spot where the 
object stopped ; but as he came to within a few yards of it, it started to 
move on again toward the camp. 

" Diable !" cried Pierre, " move any further and I fire ! "What, par- 
dieu ! Le Prince ? Ho, ho ; why Prince !" 

The animal turned and made a motion as though he would leap upon 
the sentinel's bosom, but the soldier motioned him off. 

" Bravo, Prince," Pierre cried, reaching forth his hand and patting 
the head of the great shaggy beast which had now sat upon his 



WAE LIFE. 125 

haunches. Pierre recognized the intruder as a great dog of the breed 
of St. Bernard, which had been o^Yhed in the regiment for over a year, 
and which had been missing for about a week. He disappeared one 
night from the pickets, and all search for him had been unavailing. 

'^Parbleu! mon grand Prince," Pierre uttered, as though the dog 
could understand every word ; '^ the men will be happy to see you ; 
where have you been so long ?" 

The dog made no answer to this, save a low whine, and a familiar 
noddins: of the head. 

^' Now, mon ami, you just keep your sitting there, until the guard 
comes, and then we will go to the camp together. Mind that, will 
you?" 

And with these words uttered with solemn emphasis and due mean- 
ing. Pierre started on his beat again. He had got half way to the 
rock, when the idea of looking around struck him, and he did so. Le 
Prince was moving toward the camp again. 

" Ha ! Prince, that won't do ! Stop ! stop ! or I'U shoot ! Diable ! 
the colonel was positive in his orders. I was to let nothing pass my 
post without the countersign. A dog is something. You can't go^ 
Prince, so now lie down. Down! down, I say." 

With this the dog lay flat on his belly, and stretched out his fore- 
paws. Pierre patted him upon the head again, and having duly urged 
upon him the necessity of remaining where he was, he resumed his 
march once more. 

During the next fifteen minutes the animal lay perfectly quiet, and 
ever and anon the sentinel would speak to him by way of being sociable. 
But at length the dog made another attempt to go into camp. Pierre 
had nearly reached the rock when he heard the movement, and on 
turning he could see his uneasy companion making off. 

" Diable !" the honest fellow muttered ; '^ I must obey orders. The 
colonel's word was plain. Here ! parbleu ! come here ! Here, Prince ! 
Mon Dieu I you must die if you don't ! 

With a few bounds the soldier had got near enough to the dog to 
fire, and as the latter stopped he stopped. 

'' Mon cher ami, you must stay with me 1 Here ! Come back ! I 
must shoot if you don't. Parbleu ! what a thing to raise the whole 
camp for to shoot a dog !" . 

But by coaxing and threatening, the sentinel got the dog back to his 
post, and there he made him lie down once more. And thus matters 
rested until the tramp of the coming guard was heard. 

"Ah, now, Prince will be relieved," the soldier said, stopping near 
the dog. '' You shall go and see your old firiends." 

The tramp of the coming guard drew near, and Pierre was prepar- 



126 WAE LIFE. 

ing to hail them, when the dog took a new start, and in a new direc- 
tion ~^this time, starting towards the copse. 

" Here, here, Prince ! Parbleu I don't you run off again." 

But the animal took no other notice of the call than to quicken 
his speed. 

^•Back! back! Here." 

" G-rand Dieu !" This last exclamation was forced from Pierre's lips, 
by seeing the dog leap to his hind legs and run thus. In an instant 
the truth burst upon him. Quick as thought he clapped his gun to his 
shoulder and took aim. He could just distinguish the outlines now, 
and he fired. There was a sharp cry, and then Pierre had to turn to 
the guard who were approaching. 

" Qui est la f — Who is there ? he cried." 

^^ Belief guard," was the answer. 

And having obtained the countersign, he informed the ofiBcer what 
had happened. 

" A dog," cried the officer, " Prince, did you say ?" 

^^ He looked like Prince ; but, diable, you should have seen him run 
off on his hind legs!" 

"Eh? Hind legs?" 

"Yes." 

" Then come ; show us where he was." 

"With this the officer of the mounting guard pulled the lantern from 
his breast, and having removed the shade he started on. Pierre led the 
way to the copse, and there the dog was found in the last struggles of 
death. 

The officer stooped down and turned him over. 

" G-rand Dieu!" he exclaimed, " what legs for a dog, eh 1" 

And no wonder he did so. The hind legs of the animal were booted, 
and had every appearance of the pedal extremities of the genus man. 

But all doubts were removed very quickly, for as the officer turned 
the body again a deep groan came up, and the words, "God take me I" 
in the Prussian tongue followed. 

"Diable, here's an adventure!" uttered the officer, and made Pierre 
hold the lantern while he ripped open enough of the dog's skin to find 
the face. But they concluded not to stop there to investigate, so they 
formed a litter by crossing their muskets, and lifting the strange animal 
upon it, they proceeded on their way. When they reached the camp 
they found half the soldiers up, waiting to find out why the gun was 
fired. 

Lights were brought, and the body placed upon the ground. The 
dog skin was removed, and within was found a Prussian drummer. He 
was a small fellow, though apparently some twenty years of age ; but 



WAR LIFE. 127 

he was dead, Pierre's ball having touched his heart, or somewhere very 
near it. His pockets were overhauled, and in one of them was found 
a cypher, but no one could make anything out. The colonel took it, 
and directed that the body should be placed out of sight for burial on 
the morrow. 

But this was not the end. About four o'clock, just before daylight, 
another gun was fired on the same post where Pierre had been, and 
this time a man was shot who was trying to make his escape from the 
camp. He was shot through the head. When the body was brought 
into camp, it was found to be that of a Bavarian trooper who had been 
suspected of treachery, though no proof had been found against him. 
On his person was found the key to the cypher, which had been taken 
from the person of the Prussian drummer ; and no^v that the colonel 
had them both, he could translate the mystic scroll. It proved to be a 
direction to the Bavarian, to lay his plans for keeping as near to Napo- 
leon's person as possible, after he should enter Berlin, and then wait for 
further orders. 

The mystery was explained. The Bavarian had contrived to call the 
great dog away from the regiment and delivered him up to the enemy, 
and his skin was to be made the cover for a spy to enter the camp 
under. And the spy would have got in too, but for the sportive order 
of the colonel, and the willfully faithful obedience of Pierre Sancoin. 

On the next day, Pierre was promoted to the rank of sergeant, and 
the Emperor said to him, as he bestowed the boon — If you only make 
as faithful an ofScer, as you have proved yourself faithful as a sentinel, 
I can ask no more. 

GARIBALDI AND THE WOUNDED BOY. 

When G-aribaldi arrived at Barcelona, he first directed his steps to 
the ambulance, to visit the wounded of Medici's two skirmishes, who 
numbered perhaps fifty persons. He stopped with surprise before the 
bed of a beardless boy, whom he recognized at once as a little acquaint- 
ance, Quinto, who had been, a short time before, sent off to Grenoa. 
G-aribaldi inquired how he got there wounded. The boy, much em- 
barrassed, made his confession. He had scampered across the fields, 
had gained the high road to Messina, and followed on until he caught 
up vrith the army of Medici. When Medici sent forward his recon- 
noitering party toward Melazzo, and became engaged with the enemy, 
Quinto watched his chance, till one of the men fell ; then he seized the 
fallen man's gun and accoutrements, and bounded forward into the 
thickest of the fight. 

"And that's the way, you little rascal," said Garibaldi, smiling, 
" that you have got yourself maimed. Yv'here is your wound ?" 



128 WAR LIFE. 

"In the back, general," replied Quinto, manifesting some confusion. 

"Oh I oh I" said Garibaldi, with a smile of pity. " You see now, 
coglionej that war is no child's plaj. I hope the wound is not dan- 
gerous ?" 

" Oh, no ; only a spent ball." 

G-aribaldi walked away with a shrug of his shoulders. In the back ? 
The poor boy understood the insinuation only too well, but could not, 
at the moment, find a word with which to justify himself. But when 
the general was gone, he rolled on his bed of straw, shedding tears of 
rage and humiliation. 

The general had not seen the young volunteer for the last time. The 
incidents which accompanied the battle of Melazzo are known. At 
the most critical moment, when the Dictator was engaged in a hand- 
to-hand fight in his own defense, he saw suddenly re-appear at his 
side the young volunteer he had left the evening before. " What, that 
boy again!" exclaimed G-aribaldi. But at the same moment the poor 
boy made an effort to show his bleeding breast, and uttering a cry, 
worthy of a hero of antiquity — " Tliis time, general, it is on the good 
side!" — ^he fell dead at Garibaldi's feet. — Correspondent London Times. 

COURTESIES OF WAR. 

Perhaps one of the most interesting anecdotes of the courtesies of 
war is that beautiful trait of the French dragoon, who came across Fel- 
ton Harvey, of the Fourteenth Light Dragoons, in a cavalry skirmish. 
Harvey had lost an arm, and as they approached each other, instinc- 
tively raised his stump to endeavor to save his head from the coming 
blow ; but the Frenchman, perceiving the disabled condition of his op- 
ponent, instead of cutting at him, dropped his sword to the salute, and 
galloped past. 

NO SOLDIER. 

In addressing a jury, upon one occasion, the celebrated Lord Jeffrey 
found it necessary to make free with the character of a military ofi&cer, 
who was present. Upon hearing liimself several times contemptuously 
spoken of as "the soldier," the son of Mars, boihng with indignation, 
interrupted the pleader: " Don't call me a soldier, sir, I am an ofi&cerl'* 
Lord Jeffrey immediately went on: "Well, gentlemen, this ofl&cer, 
who is no soldier^ was the sole cause of all the mischief that had oc- 
curred. 

TROPHIES OF WAR. 

Near St. Sevier, in France, there lives, or did live, an old soldier 
with a false leg, a nose of silver (covere'd with a material resembling 



WAR LIFE. 129 

flesh), a glass eye, a complete set of false teeth, and a silver plate re- 
placing a part of his skull. He won these trophies under Napoleon I. 

THE ASTONISHED CAT. 

Among other officers vrho fell at Waterloo was one of the wildest 
youths that ever belonged to the British service. He seemed to have 
a prophetic notion of his approaching end, for he repeatedly told us, in 
the early part of the morning, that he beheved the devil would have 
him before night. I shall relate one anecdote of him, v/hich occurred 
while we were in Spain. He went, by chance, to pass the day with 
two officers, quartered at a neighboring village, who happened to be, 
that day, engaged to dine with a clergyman. Knowing their visitor's 
mischievous propensities, they were at first afraid to make him one of 
the party ; but, after schooling him into a suitable propriety of behavior, 
and exacting a promise of implicit obedience, they, at last, ventured to 
take him. On their arrival, the ceremony of introduction had just been 
gone through, and their host seated at an open window, when a favor- 
ite cat of his went purring about the young gentleman's boots, who, 
catching it by the tail, and giving it two or three preparatory svrings 
round liis head, sent it flying out of the window where the parson 
was sitting, who only escaped it by suddenly stooping. The only 
apology the youngster made for his conduct was, '' Egad, I think I 
astonished that fellow!" but whether it was the cat or the parson he 
meant never could be ascertained. 

LITTLE JULES. 

" By Jove," cried httle Jules, one bright morning in July, ^^ if I only 
had a gun!" and he pushed away, with indignation, the chestnut ring- 
lets that clustered around his youthful forehead, struck the table with 
his clenched fist, his youthful blood boihng in his veins at the sight of 
friends and brothers murdered in cold blood ; then he approached the 
window, and leaning his smooth, burning cheeks against the panes, 
which shook with the firing of the royal troops, his eyes filled with 
tears of grief and indignation as he beheld the terrible massacre in the 
streets, and gazed on the result of a monarch's stupidity and a court's 
corruption. '"'Mamma! mamma!" he exclaimed, ''only look, there are 
some poor fellows carried off on a fitter ; they must be dead or dying." 

" Oh, my God, Jules, come from the window." 

" And look, look, there are some fellows who are bruised and wound- 
ed. By Jove, if I only had a gun I" 

His mother, alarmed at Jules' extreme agitation, drew him fi:'om the 
window, and endeavored to divert his mind, but he escaped from her 
kind solicitude, ran up the stairs, four steps at a time, up into the gar- 



130 WAR LIFE. 

ret, where, among other antiquities, he found an old and rather rusty 
musket ; and little Jules clapped his hands in ecstacy and exclaimed : 
^'By Jove, I have got a gun at last!" 

It was rather heavy for so youthful and inexperienced an arm ; but 
what is impossible to a generous and intrepid heart, though it beat in a 
bosom of a boy of twelve ? Little Jules raised his musket, which just 
suited him, and stepped down stairs with his precious burden, '• pedo 
suspenso," for fear of alarming his anxious and watchful mother. But 
when Jules got into the street, he found his rusty and heavy musket 
not loaded. Luckily, as he thought, a grocer's store stood next door 
to his mother's house ; he ran into the shop and exclaimed : ''Do not 
be afraid, I am your friend, Jules ; load my gun, good fellow, and make 
haste ; by Jove, I will give it to them, yet !" 

''What! you too !*' cried the astonished grocer. 

"Load it, load it^ and don't talk to me ;" repHed Jules. 

" But you are too young to fight," remonstrated the friendly grocer; 
"they will kill you, Jules; do you not hear the cannons, and the dread- 
ful firing? — -just listen !" 

But Jules stamped his foot, and answered only, " By Jove, old man, 
do not chatter so, but load my gun !" and the grocer, finding all en- 
treaties vain, did as he was commanded, and loaded the gun. Jules, 
after casting one hngering and affectionate glance at the windows of 
his mother's house, rushed into the street, already strewed with dead 
bodies. " Oh, my God I" he murmured to himself, though even at this 
dreadful sight the courage of the boy failed him but for a moment. 
Just in front of bim was a regiment of the king's household troops. An 
officer in glittering uniform, with a drawn sword and threatening ges- 
tures, was leading them on to a new and ruthless charge. Jules gazed 
for a moment at the terrific scowl and imperious voice with which the 
officer encouraged the massacre, and murmured once more to himself, 
"By Jove, I have got a gun !" He posted himself behind a low wall, 
rested his musket on the top of it, took a long, dehberate aim, and fired. 
The officer in brilhant uniform fell from his horse, shot directly through 
the heart. Jules rushed into the house, ran to his mother's room, and 
told her in triumph how he had killed " his country's foe !" The trem- 
bhng mother pressed him in silence to her beating heart, and had en- 
graved on the old musket these few but expressive words, ^^ Paris. 
July 28, 1830. ' _ 

THE DOG ARTILLERIST. 

A French work, entitled " Le Histoire des chiens celehres, contains the 
follovdng anecdote, which, however remarkable, is said to be founded 
on truth: 



WAPw LIFE. 131 

^^ Mustapha, a strong and active greyhound, belonging to a captain 
of artillery, raised from bis birth in the midst of camps, always accom- 
panied his master, and exhibited no alarm in the midst of battle. In 
the hottest engagement he remained near the cannon to which his master 
was attached, and carried the match in his month. At the memorable 
battle of Fontenoy, the master of ^lustapha received a mortal wound. 
At the moment when about to fire upon the enemy, he and several of 
his corps were struck to the earth by a discharge of artillery. Seeing 
his master extended lifeless and bleeding upon the ground, the dog be- 
came desperate and howled piteously. Just at that moment a body of 
French soldiers were advancing to gain possession of the piece, which 
was still aimed at them from the top of a small rising ground. As if 
with a view to revenge his master's death, 2Iusta;pha seized the lighted 
match icith his paws ^ and applied it to the cannon^ loaded with case-shot J 
Seventy men fell upon the spot, and the remainder took to flight! 
After this bold stroke, the dog laid down sadly near the dead body of 
his master, and remained there twenty-two hours without food. He 
was at length with difl&culty removed by the comrades of the deceased. 
This gallant greyhound was afterwards presented to George II., who 
had him taken care of as a brave and faithful pubhc servant." 

THE FAITHFUL DOG. 

" The clinging of the dogs to their master's corpses was most remark- 
able and interesting. At the commencement of the retreat, at a village 
near Sehno, a detachment of fifty of the enemy had been surprised. 
The peasants resolved to bury them ahve in a pit. A drummer-boy 
bravely led the devoted party, and sprang into the gTave. A dog be- 
longing to one of the victims could not be secured ; every day, however, 
the dog went to the neighboring camp and came back with a bit of 
food in his mouth, to sit and moan over the newly-turned earth. It 
was a fortnight before he could be killed by the peasants, afraid of dis- 
covery." — Sir R. Watson^ s Russian Campaign of 1812. 

XOBODY EjLLT but YOURSELF. 

A soldier who was once wounded in battle, set up a terrible bellow- 
ing. An Irishman who lay near, with both legs shot off, immediately 
sung out — '■' Bad luck to the likes of ye — do ye think that nobody is 
kilt but yom-seh" ?" 

GAEIBALDl'S SOLDIER-MONK. 

The renowned Father G-iovanni, G-aribaldi's soldier-monk, displayed 
great courage at the battle of Melazzo. Unarmed, only bearing the 
cross in his hand, he ran along the ranks, cheering and animating the 



132 WAR LIFE. 

volunteers to the fight, constantly shouting to them : " Fear not ! G-od 
is on our side ! Mark, I, his minister, am the foremost to expose my- 
self to the grape-shot and the volley of musketry, yet I remained un- 
scathed I Charge, Italians, charge I" And still, as he shouted, he 
waved aloft the cross. Setting them this example, and repeating aloud 
passages from Scripture, he cheered on the soldiers to some purpose ; 
as by their indomitable courage they carried the strong position of 
Melazzo. 

PEACE AND WAR. 

"I say, Jim," said Corporal Jones to Private Smith, *' what did you 
enUst for ?" 

^' Well, I don't know, corporal," was the reply, "unless it was be- 
cause I Hke war. But what did you enlist for ?" 

"I?" replied the corporal, " I enhsted because I Hked ^eace." 

The corporal was a married man. 

INCIDENT AFTER THE FALL OF DELm. 

Our men seemed to fraternize most with the Rifles, at least I judge 
so from the following : 

Private Blank is brought in much bruised. " Well, Pat, how have 
you been hurf?" 

" Why, a drunken beast of an elephant knocked me down, and then 
punched me with his head." 

'' Ah ! that is singular. Are you quite sure that you were not 
drunk yourself?" 

" Certain, but the two Rifles with me were in an awful state." 

" I dare say, but I never heard of an intoxicated elephant before." 

"At any rate, your honor, the driver, who ought to know, said that 
the beast had been drinking." 

Inquiry here ceased. Paddy was quite too strong in mother- wit. 

THE FIRST BENGAL EUROPEAN FUSILEERS AFTER THE FALL OF DELHI. 

When the bugle sounded our advance upon the town, our surgeon, 
who had formed our hospital about two hundred yards to the right of 
the column, rode up, and asked one of the men if any one had been 
injured. "Oh yes," said one of the Pusileers, "only Jamieson has 
been hit through the poch." " Poor fellow," observed the doctor, 
" what struck him ?" " A round shot," was the answer. " A round 
shot through the paunch !" exclaimed the surgeon, not catching at the 
word; "why, the man must be killed outright; where is he?" 
" There, to be sure," was the reply. The. doctor, most anxious to see 
this interesting case, hurried to Jamieson, No. 4 Company, and then 



WAR LIFE. 133 

found that it was only the cartouch-pouch which had been torn from 
his back by a twelve-pounder shot, without injuring him in the least. 

HAIR-CUTTING. 

A colonel of an English volunteer regiment, who was a rigid dis- 
ciplinarian, once issued an order that the men's hair should be cut 
closer. ]^ext morning, on parade, he pointed out four men, whose 
hair had not been cut close enough; and, on the following day, called 
the same men to the front, when a titter ran through the company, 
which soon broke out in a decided laugh. On the four men being 
directed to take off their caps, they presented four bare skulls, having 
had their heads shaved I The gallant colonel good-naturedly joined in 
the laugh, but afterwards said, he should not Hke strangers to be laugh- 
ing at them, and then ordered the four men to be confined to their bar- 
racks for six weeks, when it might be supposed that their hair would 
be grown sufi&ciently long for them to appear in public. The men 
little rehshed such an unexpected end to their joking. 

PIPE-CLAY. 

During the war in Affghanistan, in 1841, pipe-clay, an article much 
used by the soldiers, had become very scarce, and none could be pur- 
chased in camp save a small quantity, which two merchants were re- 
tailing at a rupee and a half a pound (three shillings sterling), which 
was more than a soldier's purse was adequate to bear. A substitute 
was therefore eagerly sought for. A great quantity of it had been dis- 
covered in the hills about two miles from camp, which, if prepared 
properly, would answer as well as the best ; and a great amount of 
this material was brought into camp. Three youthful soldiers, thinking 
that by going further they could find a better article, and anxious to 
indulge in the luxury of a walk in the fields, determined to make a 
trial. They armed themselves with bayonets fastened to the end of 
sticks. They had proceeded no more than a mile and a half, when 
eight of the insurgent natives attacked them. One of their number 
was shot, and the other two, after a desperate struggle, in which they 
slew two of their assailants, were overpowered. The poor fellows 
were tied together by their unfeeHng enemies, and dragged some dis- 
tance, where a fire was kindled, and they were tortured with fire- 
brands, until they entreated to be put to death, which wish, after the 
cruel wretches had become weary of their terrible sport, was granted, 
and their heads were carried off as a prize. An old shepherd found 
the three mangled and headless bodies, and brought them into the 
camp, from which they had departed, a few short hours before, full of 
life and gayety. 



134 WAR LIFE 



HOW TO FIND A HORSE. 



A Cossack soldier in Poland met a Jew riding on a horse in the for- 
est, and the Cossack compelled the Jew to give him his horse. The 
Jew, when he arrived in town, complained to the major in command, 
that he had been robbed by one of his soldiers. The Cossacks were 
paraded, and the culprit pointed out to the major, who was reported 
to be a rigid discipHnarian. The accused defended himself by declaring 
that he had found the horse. 

^' What!" exclaimed the Jew ; " I was upon his back." 

^' Yes," replied the soldier, ^' I found you too, but having no use for 
a Jew, I did not keep you." 

The excuse was admitted, and the Jew was dismissed without his 



horse. 



A MARCH. 



The troops halted at two o'clock in the morning, and at four they 
again resumed their march. In the van was the artillery. Along the 
half-scorched bed of a river lay the road, afterwards stretching across 
a lovely plain, smooth as a lawn, and covered with a charming green 
verdure, sparkling with myriads of unknown but lovely flowers. A 
soft south wind fanned the cheeks of the soldiers, reviving them after 
the heat of the day with its refreshing coolness. The breeze continued 
to blow until the sun had sunk in glory behind the misty mountain 
ranges in the distance. The glorious scene, the pleasant odors of flow- 
ers, sent thrills of pleasure to the hearts of the soldiers, and many a 
cheerful song and hearty chorus rang along the line. Suddenly the 
breeze died away ; the soft blue of the sky slowly grew darker, and 
finally presented one turbid mass of darkness, putting out the stars and 
leaving black night behind. The joyful songs and merry jests of the 
troops gave way to anxiety and gloom. Each step was taken cau- 
tiously, and every soldier was oppressed with an undefined feeling of 
apprehension. They were not left long in doubt. The clouds hung 
over them, a dull, black canopy ; the lightning gleamed in lurid flashes, 
and the thunder rolled and rattled, nearly drowning the bugle-calls, 
which sounded incessantly, to guide the footsteps of wanderers. Still 
the troops marched on, until at length came down the furious storm 
in all its might and majesty, dashing upon the advancing columns with 
all the force of a terrible hurricane, blinding and half suffocating the 
soldier with its fearful energy. The plain, before so beautiful, soon 
became a lake of water ; still on waded the troops. The water rose 
gradually; at first it reached the ankles, but onward marched the 
troops, until at length the water became so deep that it was impossible 
to march further. A halt was ordered, and the soldiers gathered them- 



WAR LIFE, 135 

selves as close together as possible, and in that position were obliged 
to wait the approach of morning. The sufferings undergone by the 
men during the long, weary hours of that fearful night, are impossible 
to describe. Cramps of the most violent kind attacked the limbs of 
some, and others suffered terrible pangs in their stomachs. Many fell 
down in the water shrieking with agony. At length the wished-for 
morn appeared, and a more distressing sight than that which presented 
itself that morning is seldom seen. The suffering of the cattle was even 
more intense than that of the men, and many died from sheer exhaus- 
tion. The troops resumed their march, and at the expiration of ten 
hours the main body reached a village, but without provisions, tents, 
or baggage. The rain had ceased at midday, and soon they were 
safely encamped, and the recollections of the troubles and accidents 
of their weary march were soon dispelled, and jokes, and songs, and 
cheerfiilness again resumed their sway. — Abridged from WiltorCs 
Scenes in a Soldiei^^s Life. 

SENSATIONS EXPERIENCED IN BATTLE. 

The great German poet Goethe, has given us a curious record of the 
sensations which he experienced during a battle. In his youth he ac- 
companied the aUied army under the Duke of Brunswick, and was 
present as a spectator at the battle of Yalmy, in 1792. 

'' I had heard so much," he writes, '' of the cannon fever, that I 
wanted to know what kind of thing it was. Ennui, and a spirit which 
every kind of danger excites to daring, nay, even to rashness, induced 
me to ride up quite coolly to the outwork of La Dane. This was again 
occupied by our people ; but it presented the wildest aspect. The roofs 
were shot to pieces, the corn-shocks scattered about, the bodies of men 
mortally wounded stretched upon them here and there, and occasion- 
ally a spent cannon ball fell and rattled among the ruins of the tile 
roofs. Quite alone I rode away on the heights to the left, and could 
plainly survey the favorable position of the French. They were stand- 
ing in the form of a semi-circle, in the greatest quiet and security, 
Kellermann, then on the left wing, being easiest to reach. * * ^ * I had 
now arrived quite in the region where balls were playing across me ; 
the sound of them is curious enough, as if it were composed of the 
humming of tops, the gurgling of water, and the whistling of birds. 
They were the less dangerous by reason of the wetness of the ground ; 
wherever one fell it stuck fast. And thus my foolish experimental 
ride was secured against the danger at least of the balls rebounding. 
In the midst of these circumstances, I was soon able to remark that 
something unusual was taking place within me. I paid close attention 
to it, and still the sensation can only be described by simiUtude. It 



136 WAE LIFE. 

appeared as if tou Tvere in some extremely hot place, and at the same 
time quite penetrated by the heat of it, so that you feel yourself, as it 
were, quite one with the element in which you are. The eyes lose 
norhins: of their streno-th or clearness ; but it is as if the world had a 

kind of brown, red tint wliich makes the situation, as well as sur- 
rounding objects more impressive. I was unable to perceive any agita- 
tion of the blood : but everything seemed rather to be swallowed up 
in the glow of which I speak. From this then it is clear in what sense 
this condition can be called a fever. It is remarkable, however, that 
the horrible uneasy feeing arising from it. is produced in us wholly 
thi^ough the ears. For the cannon thunder, the howling and crushing 
of the balls through the air, is the real cause of these sensations. After 
I had ridden back and was in perfect security, I marked with smiDrise 
that the glow was completely extinguished, and not the slightest 
feverish agitation was left behind."' 

BEFORE A BATTLE. 

It would be difficult to convey to the mind of an ordinary reader, 
anything like a coiTect notion of the state of feeling, which takes 
possession of a man waiting for the commencement of a battle. In the 
first place, time appears to move on leaden vrings ; a minute seems an 
hour, and every hour a dav. Then there is a strange comminsrlins; of 
levity and seriousness within him : a levity which prompts him to laugh, 
he knows not why, and a seriousness which urges himt ever and anon, 
to lift up a prayer to the thi^one of gTace. On such occasions httle or 
no conversation passes. The privates generally lean on then* firelocks, 
the officers on their swords ; and few words except monosyllables in 
reply to questions are spoken. On these occasions too, the faces of the 
bravest often change color, and the limbs of the most resolute tremble, 
not with fear, but with anxiety, whilst watches are consulted tnl the 
individuals who consult them gi^ow absolutely weary of the employ- 
ment. On the whole it is a situation of higher exciiemen: and darker 
and deeper agitation, than any other in human hie : nor can he be said 
to feel ah that man is capable of feeling, who has not filled ii. 

A PERFECTLY AUTHENTIC ANECDOTE. 

The following droll anecdote is told in the feuiV.eion of a French news- 
paper published in Xew York, the contributor having received it direct 
from Paris, where it is traced to an eye-witness ! The military ardor 
of the grande nation was never more pleasantly illustrated ; and we 
agree with the stoiy-teller that '* the trait of heroism is worthy of being 
immortalized." It is thus written down '' in all its touching sym- 
plicityf 



WAR LIFE. 137 

" The Emperor was reviewing a body of infantry, when his eye was 
caught by a drummer, with only one arm ; but who was nevertheless 
still playing. 

" ' Where is your left arm ?' said he. 
" ^ At Solferino, sire.' 

" ' You shall have a pension of 400 francs from my private purse.' 
^' ^ And if I should leave my other arm on the same road, sire ?' 
'' ' This,' replied ]N"apoleon, pointing to his own rosette of an officer 
of the Legion of Honor. ' The Cross I' exclaimed the soldier, and car- 
ried away by a transport of enthusiasm, the new Porsenna, with the 
remaining arm^ drew his sabre, and at one vigorous blow cut it clean 
off." The question is liow he did it? 

AN INCIDENT OF THE NAVAL BATTLE ON THE MISSISSIPPI. 

As one of the rebel vessels was approaching the Union gunboat Cin- 
cinnati, the sharpshooters were active trying to kill the officers and 
insure security for themselves. Their rifles were seen protruding be- 
tween the cotton bales, and thrust over the top, and numerous bullets 
whizzed by the ears of the gallant officers. No human figure, however, 
could be seen, except the man at the wheel ; and Captain Stembel, 
knowing how much depended on removing him, called for a gun, and 
shot the pilot, who fell, apparently dead. 

A few seconds after the pilot of the Cincinnati halloed out : " There 
is a d — d scoundrel getting ready to shoot you, captain." Stembel 
looked up, and saw a man pointing a gun at his head, and having dis- 
charged his own piece and a pair of revolvers, he stepped forward to 
screen himself behind the pilot-house. He was too late. Before he 
had half covered his body with the intervening object, the rebel sent 
into his left shoulder a ball that passed out of his throat about two 
inches under the chin. He was picked up and carried below, where 
he retained his consciousness, and every few seconds opened his eyes 
and anxiously inquired as to the progress of the battle. 

RUBBING IT IN. SCENE AT THE PARK BARRACKS. 

Dramatis Persons. — A sick and wounded, but good-looking soldier, 
and an anxious lady nurse in search of a subject : 

Lady ISTurse.— -My poor fellow, can I do anything for you ?" 

Soldier (emphatically). — No, ma'am ! ISTothin' I 

Lady Nurse. — I should hke to do something for you. Shall I not 
sponge your face and brow for you ? 

Soldier (despairingly). — You may if you want to very bad, but you'll 
be the fourteenth.lady that has done it this blessed mornin'. 



138 WAR LIFE, 



CONFLICTING ORDERS. 



Some curious things happen in the camp before Eichmond, by the 
conflicting orders of the general officers, which, owing to the constant 
change taking place among the divisions, are often at total variance 
with each other : 

" All marauding is forbidden by the articles of war, and a severe pen- 
alty provided. To-day, however, one of the regiments had struck their 
tents, and had packed everything up ready to march, and had been 
waiting some time. The captain of a company in the regiment, wish- 
ing to provide for his men, ordered some potatoes, and went to a neigh- 
boring negro hut and purchased a pig, paying for it at "the time. He 
then went to the provost marshal and obtained permission to shoot 
it, and as he was doing so a general officer rode up and ordered his 
arrest, and the captain was placed in his tent under guard, on the charge 
of marauding. The charge cannot be substantiated, as he bought and 
paid for the pig, and obtained the provost marshal's permission to shoot 
it." 

The captain was probably subsequently discharged. 

AN INCIDENT OF WAR LIFE. 

Among the prisoners captured at Fort Donelson was Sergeant Stanley 
M. Warner, of the Texas Seventh. This gentleman is a graduate of 
JSTorwich University, and a classmate of Lieutenant Colonel Eansom, 
of the Illinois Eleventh. By one of those remarkable circumstances 
which mark eventful life, the Texas Seventh and the Illinois Eleventh 
were pitted against each other, outside of the entrenchments, at Fort 
Donelson. These two regiments almost annihilated each other, suffer- 
ing far greater loss than any other on either side. These old classmates 
and friends were opposed to each other in deadly strife. One of them 
received an ugly, but not dangerous wound in the shoulder, and the 
other was taken prisoner. 

WHAT A 32-POUNDER CAN DO. 

An officer engaged in the fight gives the following description of the 
accident to the Essex^ Captain Porter's gunboat, at Fort Henry, and its 
horrible consequences : 

" It was a 32-pounder that did the business, the ball passing through 
the edge of a bow port, through a strong bulkhead, and plump into the 
boiler. We only had about sixty pounds of steam on, just enough to 
stem the current, or there would not have been one man left to tell the 
tale. As it was, twenty-one were killed and wounded. Porter was 
standing near the gun, and in the act of giving an order to a bright 



WAR LIFE. 139 

young lad named Brittain, the son of a clergyman in New Tork, when 
the ball came through, carrying off Brittain' s head^ before going into 
the boiler. The pilot-house was directly over the boiler, and the only 
communication to it was from below. The two pilots had no way of 
escape, and were Hterally boiled to death. They thrust their heads out 
of the Httie air ports, which was all they could do. 

" Some of the crew rushed out into the open air, on the platform in 
frontr, with their clothes and skin hanging in threads from their bodies, 
and with their last breath shouted: * Hurra for the Union.' Another 
poor fellow, while dying, being told that the fort had surrendered, said, 
^ I die content.' Another with bhstered hands pulled the string to fire 
another shot, but the steam had dampened the priming. Seldom has 
greater heroism been displayed. Several poor fellows jumped over- 
board to escape the steam and were drowned. Altogether it was an 
awful scene, the contendiug ships and the fort, the roar of battle and 
the hissing steam sending its deadly breath into every pore of the de- 
voted crew." 

HOW TO MAKE A ZOUAVE. 

French receipt for making a Zouave : — " Take a recruit — ^keep him 
forty-eight hours — notliing to eat ; den march him forty-eight hours — 
nothing to eat ; den let him fight like the d — 1 forty-eight hours — nothing 
to eat ; by dam, he one Zouave." 



'* You won't charge anything for Te-menibering me," said a soldier, 
who had lost his leg, to an artificial leg manufacturer. 

HOW TO GET A CAPTAINCY. 

A gentleman watching the evolutions of a battahon drill, in a camp 
near Pittsburg, Pa., a captain of one of the companies attracted his 
attention. He inquired of a friend the name of the of&cer : 

'' Why," was the reply, '^ that is the famous Captain D ." 

"Why famous?" inquired the gentleman; ^'I never heard of him." 
" He is famous for the form of oath he administered to his men, at 
their enhstment ; which was this : 

" ' You solemnly swear to obey, fight for, and maintain the laws of 
the Federal Government and Constitution, and support me for captain 
of this company.' " 

The reason the last clause was inserted, was because the captain had 
been quite active in getting up a company before, and when they elected 
their officers he was left out, not even being made a heutenant, so this 
time he was determined to make it sure. 



140 WAE LIFE. 

After the company was filled they met for the purpose of electing 

officers. Being formed in line, Mr. D stated to them that the first 

duty of a soldier was strict obedience to the orders of the officers and 
any one guilty of any act of insubordination, would be dealt with in 
the most summary manner. Officers were to be voted for viva voce. 

Mr. D- immediately nominated himself for captain, there beino- 

several ^' ayes" distinctly heard. Without calling for the contrary he 
immediately declared himself elected. Things worked smoothly, all 
being declared unanimous, until the vote for Orderly Sergeant, when 
there was a " ITo" heard from the rear rank. The captain immediately 
rushed in, seized the offender by the collar, and gave him a thorough 
shaking, at the same time exclaiming : 

'' You scoundrel ! how dare you show signs of insubordination, so soon 
after the instructions I gave you ? Take your place in the ranks, and 
never be guilty of such an offense again." 

ISTo instance of mutiny has since been known in Captain D 's 

company. 

SINGULAR COOLNESS UNDER FIRE. 

Colonel Willich, commander of the Indiana G-erman Thirty-second, 
which had the brilliant fight some months since across from Munfords- 
ville, Kentucky, has sent in his report of the loss of his regiment in the 
action at Pittsburg. They had ten killed and ninety-two wounded. 
Every single officer and all the privates, with a few exceptions, fought 
with the utmost bravery and coolness under the hottest fire. '' As a 
proof of the latter, I wiU mention," says Colonel Wiihch, '' that when 
their firing became a little ' wild' during the last charge, I stopped the 
firing and drilled them in the manual of arms, v/hich they all went 
through as if on the parade ground ; they then opened a dehberate, 
steady and effective fire." 

ARMS vs. LEGS. 

A youthful member of a rifle corps, in a Scottish town, on his arrival 
at home a few evenings ago, joyfully told his governor that he had just 
got his arms. "Arms !" quoth the aged, dryly, '^I'm thinkin' gin the 
French come, ye'll hae mair need of your legs." 

A day's routine of prison LIFE. 

Lieut. Grumman, of the Brooklyn Fourteenth Regiment, gives the 
following account of a day's routine in the Eichmond tobacco ware- 
house. He was taken prisoner on the 18th of November, 1861, and 
was confined in the tobacco warehouse for nearly four months. 

About eight o'clock, the rebel officer of the guard would come in 



"WAR LIFE. 141 

and go through the roll-call of the prisonerSj who, as their names were 
called off, would pass along to a separate part of the room. 

Life was quite monotonous. The two meals of the day, reading the 
papers, a feT^* minutes down in the yard, songs, carving rings or toys, 
listening to some yarn-spinner, etc., were about all that could be called 
in requisition to make the weary days pass along. 

The nights were the dreariest. Sometimes, as if by common con- 
sent, everything would subside, and while they sat aroimd the fires, 
after the lights were put out, each would appear to busy himself with 
the silent musings of his own heart. But these quiet hours were not 
frequent. 

All winter the men have only been allowed two meals a day. The 
afternoon meal, or dinner, consisted of soup, with rice, etc., and half of 
a small loaf of bread. The meal the next morning, for breakfast, would 
be the beef, cold, from the previous day's soup, and another half loaf 
of bread. This diet continued throughout, without any variation. 
Coffee was unknown, and tea was very rare. Potatoes and other 
vegetables could be had by those who had money. 

The monotony of life in the tobacco houses would be varied with 
getting up mock trials, debates, etc., and sometimes with practical 
jokes. About JSTew Tear's they got up the play of '"' Bob Eoy/' which 
was performed with very good appointments, dresses, etc., a young 
man (as in Shakspeare's ovm day) taking the part of the principal 
female character. This play went off well, being presented to an au-- 
dience of between four and five hundred prisoners, many of them 
invalids, who were able to come in from the hospital apartments. The 
programme of the play on this occasion had the announcement at the 
bottom, '' front seats reserved for cripples." It is said that the actors 
acquitted themselves very well, and that the play and kindred amuse- 
ments helped to make the Christmas and ISTew Tear hoHdays pass off 
very pleasantly to many a poor fellow who might otherwise have been 
down-hearted enough. 

During the day, to while away the time, some played euchre, whist, 
seven-up, or other games of cards ; others chess, and others checkers 
or back-gammon. Some employed themselves at cutting rings, or 
other little fancy articles, out of bones taken from the prison beef. 
Others read the Richmond papers, which were brought in regularly. 
Of course they saw none of the ISTorthern papers. "When any one 
received a letter from home he was the envied man of the day. 

In the officers' prison, among other good fellows, was a gentleman 
named Isaac W. Hart (Old Hart), quarter-master of the Twentieth 
Indiana Regiment, who did a good deal to make Eichmond prison-life 
endurable, with his cheerfulness, and singing a song, composed by hun- 



U42 WAE LIFE. 

selfj to inspirit bis fellow-prisoners. While they were all sitting there 

around the stove, perhaps thinking of home, by the dim light of the 

fire, if nothing else was offered, Mr. Hart would strike up his song, 

and smg verse after verse, and all the prisoners would come in strong 

on the chorus : 

*' Eoll on, roll on, sweet moments, roll on 
And let the poor prisoners go home." 

Then there was another contribution to the life and genuine good- 
ness of the time in the presence of Lieut. B. F. Hancock, of the Nine- 
teenth Indiana, a perfect specimen of the "Western Hoosier, full of dry 
fun, and helping much to keep the blue demon away from the door. 

AN INCIDENT OF PRISON LIFE. 

An elderly, well-dressed lady was looking about among the members 
of the Tenth Tennessee Eegiment, confined at Chicago, when in the 
person of a fine looking, intelligent man, of twenty-eight or thirty 
years, she recognized her son. The recognition was mutual, and 
mother and son rushed into each other's arms. The young man, whose 
name is Wilham Pithey, left his home in this city five years since, and 
went South to seek his fortune. At Huntsville, Alabama, a few 
months since, a personal enemy, as he supposed, denounced him as an 
Abolitionist, and he was left a choice of two alternatives, and joined 
the rebel army. He was made a prisoner at Fort Donelson, and 
brought to his former home a captive. His parents, who are highly 
respectable people and old residents here, on Saturday learned of his 
whereabouts, and on Sunday hastened to his quarters. His mother 
was admitted, but his father was not allowed to pass. As she found 
him, she sobbed, " Oh, my dear boy, you have been the subject of 
many prayers, and you are not past praying for yet. I thank G-od, he 
is once more under the folds of the flag of the Union." Mother and 
son were permitted to go to the gate, where the father had been wait- 
ing to greet his son. The guards, understanding the matter, offered 
no hinderance to the meeting, and allowed them to embrace each other. 
The young man, we understand, was afterwards released. 

^'WHEN YOU IS ABOUT, WE IS." 

The Booneville correspondent of the Cincinnati Daily Commercial 
writes : 

These Missouri niggers know a great deal more than the white folks 
give them credit for, and whether Missouri goes for the Confederacy or 
for the Union, her slaves have learned a lesson too much to ever make 
them useful as slaves. I was struck with the apt reply of one of a 
crowd who came from a big house to the road to see us pass the other 



WAE LIFE. 143 

day. Says I, "Boys, are you all for the Union?" ^^Oh, yes, massa, 
■vrlien you's about, we is." " And when Price comes, you are secesh, 
are you?" ''Lord, yes, massa, we's good secesh then. Can't allow 
white folks to get ahead niggers in dat way." The darkey understood 
the whole question and the game played. 

ADVICE ''iX THE NAME OF THE LORD." 

As there are many who volunteer advice ''in the name of the Lord" 
to the commander-in-chief, or the President, it may have a suggestive 
influence with the Government to repeat an interesting anecdote of 
Cromwell, given in the Collection of Percy, on "War : " Cromwell kept 
his fanatics in order in their own way ; for when one of them waited 
on him, as he said, ^ in the name of the Lord,' to know the destination 
of one of his fleets, Cromwell said : ' My good friend, the Lord shall 
know, for thou shalt go with the fleet' He immediately gave orders 
for having him stowed in the hold of one of the vessels then under 
sailing orders ; and actually sent him out, thus confined, with the ex- 
pedition." 

GIVING mS OWN PAROLE. 

The rebels in Missouri recently captured Colonel L< , and after a 

consultation, as it was found inconvenient to retain him, concluded 
they would release him on his parole. Here a difficulty arose, for the 
Secessionists were unable to read or write. At length one of them ap- 
plied to the Colonel, and requested him to vrrite his own parole. He 
gladly consented, and wrote: "I hereby promise never to take up 
arms ct^ams^ the United States!" Secesh took the document and re- 
leased the Colonel, who is now doing good sevYice for the United States. 

"niBLEMSl" 

" A fine ould Irish gentleman" at Lynn, who did not own a flag, 
wishing to celebrate the Union victories, hung out a blue shirt and a 
white one, together " wid the ould woman's red petticoat," saying, 
'' be jabbers ! I'll have the imblems out any how." 

A MIDNIGHT SCENE, AFTER THE BATTLE OF SHILOH. 

As I sit, to-night, writing this epistle, the dead and wounded are all 
around me. The knife of the surgeon is busy at work, and amputated 
legs and arms lie scattered in every direction. The cries of the suffer- 
ing victims, and the groans of those who patiently await for medical 
attendance, are most distressing to any one who has any sympathy 
with his fellow-man. All day long they have been coming in, and 
they are placed upon the decks and within the cabins of the steamers, 



144 WAK LIFE* 

and wherever else they can find a resting place. I hope my eyes may 
never again look upon such sights. Men with their- entrails protrud- 
ing, others with broken arms and legs, others with buUets in their 
breasts or shoulders ; and one poor wretch I found whose eyes had 
been shot entirely away. All kinds of conceivable wounds are to be 
seen, in aU parts of the body, and from all varieties of weapons. 

AN UNCONDITIONAL UNIONIST. 

" In Carroll county, Missouri, a man was tried for boldly avowing 
Union sentiments. He defied his tormentors, and said he ^ would stick 
to the Union as long as there was a piece left.' He was told that the 
Union was broken so fine that a piece could not be found. ' Then, 
said he, ^ I will hang to the stub, and when the stub is gone, I will 
hang to the hole the stub came out of.' He was released." 



THE :sND. 









201 BKOADWAT, NEW YORK. 



DEALER IN 



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